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and there he goes again!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies
My ss 12 keeps running out of the apt even time he doesn't like what's said to him or he doesn't get his way. He has been running back and forth from his papas to our apt for 2 hours because I said no more tv he needs to read. He hasn't read the entire summer. He runs off when he is asked to. He watched tv non-stop yesterday and 6 hours today.

He will not listen to anyone. My dh is going to get fired if he's on the phone with ss all day. His papa has kicked him out atleast 5 times but he keeps going back. I can't do anything to keep him in the house. All over reading a book! He's screaming and jumping up and down yelling I don't wanna read!!

I even told him fine don't read! And he still refused to come in and ran off again. I give up. He does this nearly every day dh has tried everything we can think of.

Yes he's in councilling, yes we have rules. He doesn't think they apply to him. He runs when they are enforced. No I don't allow him to watch that much tv normally. I broke my foot so he sneaks upstairs and watches dh's portable dvd player he snuck out of the car.

The cops have already picked him up once for being out after 10pm he ran because dh said it was bed time. Dh and I are done. So done with this. Bm is gone she cut all ties so that isn't a option and all of dh's family refuses to take him even for a day.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:38 PM
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by New Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:40 PM

 That child has control of the adults.  My mom would have knocked me in to my 40's had I pulled that shit.

My advice, of course, is not to beat him.  I don't have honest advice because I am not dealing with it and my children are much younger.  Just saying my mom would have gone off the deep end.  LOL.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:51 PM

Does he have a diagnosis that makes it difficult for him to sit and read?

Does he have ADHD?   Bipolar Disorder?   Autism?   What's his diagnosis?   Does he have an actual problem reading?

What is he interested in?  Would he read a different book?   Would he read Star Wars, or the Hobbit?   Would he read a book on how to build a race car?

I had one kid who didn't try to read in school.   We bought a car model, a really complicated one, and he read the directions out loud to me, and I followed the directions.   START by finding something he's interested in, that is not to say he can always read only what he wants, it's just a start.

Lock him in his room with the book.   Take out everything else he could amuse himself with.  Write a quiz on the book.   When he answers 90% of the questions right, he can come out.   Some kids would do alright if you just asked them questions about the book.

I'm kidding...but not much.  

I've dealt with some very, very sick, disturbed people.  I'm not saying your boy is - not at all, but I learned this.   The message often doesn't get heard unless it is VERY VERY SIMPLE.   Direct consequence, RIGHT AWAY.  IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER.   And A VERY IMMEDIATE REWARD.

You go in there, read a book, don't come out til you finish the chapter, and I'm going to ask you about it.   Who's the main character?   What happened to him?   Then have him sit down and eat some ice cream or take him to play video games at the mall.  Immediately.   Try to say something about the book as part of normal, fun conversation.   'I bet YOU never found an alternate universe by walking through a closet....'.

If he is running away you need to keep him in the house.  Do you know how to restrain a person who is trying to run away?   Do you know how to hold someone down?   Can you lock the doors so he can't get out without a key?   Do it.

You need to tell him that if he keeps running away, he is going to wind up in juvenile detention. And when he runs there will be consequences.   

It doesn't sound like counseling is working for him.   Try something else.  Has he got a diagnosis?

You need to not say ok, then don't read.   This isn't a game.  He needs to do what you tell him.   If he doesn't there has to be consequences.   You need the cooperation of the other people he might run to.

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