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My awesome family. *long* **UPDATED**

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:59 AM
  • 45 Replies
**UPDATE** Well I never told my mother or granny they couldn't come but neither of them showed up. Also my granny was supposed to watch my son last night so I could be at the hospital when I needed to be but she never showed up. My step mom ended up doing it. She also ended up getting me the bassinet my mother said she would get for me but never did. KEIRA LEIGH was born at 08:03 this morning, weighed 6lbs 9oz (we managed to get her to gain some weight), and is healthy. I love her and am so glad everything turned out so great. My mother and my granny to be specific. Within the past two weeks I was told my pregnancy is now considered high risk due to the low weight of my baby. I informed close family of it. My mother and granny told me since my SO works so far away if I need anything let them know. My doctor also informed me for anything I need to go to the hospital. Well one day I started having contractions and I called my mother to see if she could take me to the hospital, she asked 50 questions and then ended up telling me just to wait till my SO gets home from work and have him take me... Several days later I started having pains bad enough it made it difficult for me to breathe so I called her again, the same thing happened. Then the day of my next doctor appointment I went and afterwards my car (I had taken my SO to work that morning) wouldn't start. So I called my mom no answer, sent her a text telling her my son and I were stranded, I also attempted to call my granny she didn't answer either. I didn't hear back from either for hours. (Luckily the cleaning guy at my doctor's office fixed my car so it would start). When I finally heard from my granny she offered to start taking me to my Doctor appointments (great news since it's twice a week and costs us at least an extra 20 dollars a day in gas for me to take my SO to work and pick him back up). She took me last friday, then texted me over the weekend and said she wouldn't be able to take me today. I simply asked her what came up, she never answered. Then today me and my 23 month old went to the doctors office, he did very well and behaved and sat in his seat and all that. They decided they didn't like my NST so they wanted me to go to the hospital for some more testing but I needed someone to watch my son. So I called my mother, no answer, then I called my granny. I told her what was going on she offered to meet me to get my son. I got to where we were supposed to be meeting and called her to tell her I was there and she says "Oh I was just about to text you. I called your brother (who works with my SO) and he's going to have your SO come watch your son. My SO just started this job and can not take off easily, plus I have the car so he would have to drive a work vehicle which they don't really like you doing for personal reasons. I then called my SO and he said he was about to be on his way. Two hours later I texted to see where he was. He called me and said my brother told him that granny was already there watching my son (that's what she had told him) and that he didn't need to come. So basically my granny said she would come, backed out telling me that my brother said it would be no problem for my SO to do it, then lied and told my brother she was doing it. I ended up having to watch my 23 month old while all the tests were being done. Luckily for me he was in a good mood and behaved fairly well. We spent a total of 8 hours at doctors and hospitals today, I felt so bad for him having to sit still the entire time. That was my vent, now for my question. I personally am considering telling them I do NOT want them coming to the hospital while my baby is being born or even to visit afterwards. To me if they refuse to be there when they say they will, when I really need the help/support, then why should they be there when everything's good? Do you ladies think that I'm overreacting, or am I right in wanting to tell them not to come?
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Bhayes1113
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 1:31 AM
bump.
Bhayes1113
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:03 AM
bump
MommaGirl1207
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:17 AM
3 moms liked this

I personally don't think you're overreacting.

IMO (please don't take this the wrong way) it sounds like your mom and grandma just told you what they probably thought you wanted to hear (that they are here for you), but  didn't actually mean it.

If they can't be there for you when you are in trouble and need their help, they don't deserve to be there with you in times of happiness.

Bhayes1113
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:04 AM
Thanks, I didn't really think I was overreacting but I've been under a lot of stress lately and wanted to make sure. As sad as it sounds, I would expect this from my granny, but not my mother. Every time she's given me the run around lately I ended up breaking down in tears. I have half a mind just to cut them both out of my life, I just can't decide if that will be best for my children.
Quoting MommaGirl1207:

I personally don't think you're overreacting.

IMO (please don't take this the wrong way) it sounds like your mom and grandma just told you what they probably thought you wanted to hear (that they are here for you), but  didn't actually mean it.

If they can't be there for you when you are in trouble and need their help, they don't deserve to be there with you in times of happiness.


Happymom0301
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:19 AM
1 mom liked this

You are not over reacting! You have a right to be comfortable and happy when you give birth and if your mother and granny are not supportive then it would only be un-needed stress.  I had a similar situation...about 7 years ago, when my Dd was born, I had my tubes ties while still in the hospital.  9 months later, I had a miscarraige.  When I went to the hospital to have my D&C, the Doctor did not get everything and I had to return for a second surgery a week later. Despite being told I was not supposed to lift anything, my DH dropped me at the door of the hospital the morning of my surgery with my 9 month old in her carseat carrier, diaper bag and my bag, because he claimed he could not take off another day of work.  (Self employed). My mother was supposed to meet me at the hospital to pick up DD before I went into pre-op, but something came up and she was running late!  I went into surgery alone with nurses babysitting.  You take care of you, and your feelings!!

Bhayes1113
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:39 AM
Thanks. It's nice to get some support somewhere.
Quoting Happymom0301:

You are not over reacting! You have a right to be comfortable and happy when you give birth and if your mother and granny are not supportive then it would only be un-needed stress.  I had a similar situation...about 7 years ago, when my Dd was born, I had my tubes ties while still in the hospital.  9 months later, I had a miscarraige.  When I went to the hospital to have my D&C, the Doctor did not get everything and I had to return for a second surgery a week later. Despite being told I was not supposed to lift anything, my DH dropped me at the door of the hospital the morning of my surgery with my 9 month old in her carseat carrier, diaper bag and my bag, because he claimed he could not take off another day of work.  (Self employed). My mother was supposed to meet me at the hospital to pick up DD before I went into pre-op, but something came up and she was running late!  I went into surgery alone with nurses babysitting.  You take care of you, and your feelings!!


Louweezymarie
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:59 AM

Some people are just unreliable, family included. It annoys me to no end when people offer to help or say something and don't do it, so I hear ya on that and I don't think you're overreacting in how you feel about it. As for keeping them away when the baby comes - that's up to you. I don't know if I'd personally go that far but at the same time you can always have quiet time to yourself and have them over later when you get home from the hospital if they're stressing you out that much. 

mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 5:50 AM

I would be devastated if my family treated me or anyone that way.

I don't think you are over reacting.

Momofmenagerie
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 6:00 AM
Makes sense to me! The hospital will not allow them on the wars if you tell them they ate not welcome.

I'm so sorry , though. I had a similar experience because I'm bipolar and had to come of some meds before ttc. EVERYBODY was on board.... Suddenly it was just my husband and my dad ( who is just not great in a crisis as hard as he tries ) so I understand the " I'll be there " and zip! Gone!

Keep in mind though, that although these are "mom gone AWOL"
Your hormones are flipping out now but when the time comes, and you ban them, you may regret it later. You are completely entitled to make that decision... But I'd wait until closer to the due date to make that decision ( although it sounds like you are really close now) I wish you a healthy birth and and calm recuperation period with no mama drama. (Hugs)
nurse1997
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:01 AM

 I hoped you dropped that loser of a dh ! 


Quoting Happymom0301:

You are not over reacting! You have a right to be comfortable and happy when you give birth and if your mother and granny are not supportive then it would only be un-needed stress.  I had a similar situation...about 7 years ago, when my Dd was born, I had my tubes ties while still in the hospital.  9 months later, I had a miscarraige.  When I went to the hospital to have my D&C, the Doctor did not get everything and I had to return for a second surgery a week later. Despite being told I was not supposed to lift anything, my DH dropped me at the door of the hospital the morning of my surgery with my 9 month old in her carseat carrier, diaper bag and my bag, because he claimed he could not take off another day of work.  (Self employed). My mother was supposed to meet me at the hospital to pick up DD before I went into pre-op, but something came up and she was running late!  I went into surgery alone with nurses babysitting.  You take care of you, and your feelings!!


 

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