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when does it become not 50/50 anymore

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
My dh and I are fighting. What's new. It has become the point of the fight is things aren't 50/50 anymore. He isn't giving me any love and attention. And I spend too much time on the internet. Im not cleaning the house and he's not helping with the bills all that much. Im not being organized and he's not hardly talking to me. I love him more than I can love anyone, but when is it got to be 50/50?? Should it be that way?? Or is there way that we can be a little less than that and still be happy?? I need help!!!
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:46 PM
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Replies (1-8):
WonderWoman22
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:49 PM

Well, maybe you should try him writing on a list all the things he expects from you and you writing on a list what you would expect in return. (see if he would be willing)

It should be both giving 100% and working together as a team.

WonderWoman22
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:06 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this

A very wise man (my Grandfather) once told me, if you only gave 50% at your job you would be fired, you must give 100%, so why would you only give 50%, and expect your partner to only give 50%, to your marriage? You should give at LEAST the effort you would to a job, to your marriage.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:21 PM
I'm my marriage is never Bern 50/50. I have always done for my husband above and beyond and know that he is home more due to a job change I feel less important to him and since I do it all what's the point to him doing anything if I'm doing it all.
My point is I'm going through this to and I'm not sure when this will ever be better so I have decided to just leave things alone and be happy with what I have and be happy he at least does for our baby. Pls don't think I'm telling u to do what I'm doing. Just letting u know ur not alone. Much love and luck to u.
rebeccasmly
by Silver Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree 100% with this. Its also a great exercise to try. It should help you both get on the same page.

Quoting WonderWoman22:

Well, maybe you should try him writing on a list all the things he expects from you and you writing on a list what you would expect in return. (see if he would be willing)


It should be both giving 100% and working together as a team.


ff-princess
by Bronze Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 9:02 AM
My marriage hasn't ever been 50/50. we both give everything we have to nurture our love and partnership. sometimes his "all" is less than 100%, and sometimes mine doesn't measure up to it either. but that is when the other one will pull the weight until things right themselves and balance back out. I can honestly say that in the 12 years we've been together I haven't ever thought one about leaving, and I'm secure in the knowledge that if I did have a concern about our lives together, he would do everything in his power to ease my mind, even if it meant making a change in how he communicates to me.

I remember crying to him once that he never tells me he loves me, that he only repeats it back to be. he pointed out (and rightfully so) that he never had the opportunity to say it first because I always do. so I started pausing sometimes for a longer hug, and there it was, him telling me he loves me, and saying it first.

the point I'm trying to make us that 50/50 might add up to 100, but if you both communicate with each other and give it your all, your life can overflow a mere 100%.
anotherhalf
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 1:44 PM

Stop trying for the 50/50.  I have been married for over 10 years and never once kept score.  We both try to give 100%, sometimes we fall short, but we pick it up again.  I never started giving less when he slipped to make it "even" and neither did he.

1plustwinsmommy
by Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 2:34 PM

It's never 50/50. Never. Find a balance that works for you. 

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