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The Toxic Family Member

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 11:39 PM
  • 28 Replies

Thank you in advance for reading... :)

So, my fiance and i are getting married in a few months. When we got engaged i asked 7 girls to be in my bridal party. I only wanted 6, but my nearly 40 year old cousin would have flipped if i didn't ask her. So i did, hoping we should say no.

We have a rocky relationship. She is jealous of most women, but seems to have the most for me as i am nearly 12 years younger and  appear to have the life she wants? She will never say it, but she hints at it. She also has a problem when the spot light is not on her. These feelings make our relationship nearly impossible.

Ok, moving on... My bridal shower was last week. All of my bridal party was amazing except....my cousin. She had a sour face on from go. She stayed away from all bridal party activities like helping decorate, helping with the silly games, and complained when asked to write down who got me which gifts. She wouldn't look at me, sat next to me but wouldnt talk or look at me there. Several people asked me after the shower what her issue was. I even got phone calls. Oy...

After talking to my fiance we decided we cant risk having her sour face up at the altar with us and have cameras capture that. Not to mention, we want nothing but love and happiness surrounding us.

I did what i had to do and let her know i'd be pay for her dress as is it best she not take part in any further bridal party obligations. She then did what she does best and called my sister to bitch about me, except this time my sister let her have it. My cousin thought my fiance and i owed it to her to ask her why she was so down at my shower to which my sister informed her that for once, that day was not about her.

She sent me an email letting me know i have a lot to learn about dealing with people but that she would oblige. I don't know why she said yes to being in the wedding to begin with. I asked her to be in it, i didnt force her.

That is all. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me...now to see if she comes to the wedding...which i hope she doesnt. Thanks for reading!!

by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 11:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MissTacoBell
by Taco Bell Princess on Aug. 17, 2013 at 11:43 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow that's crazy. I'm glad you bucked up and 86'd her though. What a sourpuss.
LuckyLady0427
by Member on Aug. 17, 2013 at 11:49 PM

Thanks! I wanted to do it for a while, but figured i would give her the benefit of the doubt...i almost did it when she asked me to change my wedding color from purple to blue because purple doesnt look good with her skin....LOL

mamabear8710
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:03 AM
1 mom liked this

well im just glad you told her not to be a bridesmaid, i thought you were just gonna complain about her and i would have to give one of my blunt ass answers, but hey girl you already did what you needed to do! good for you! your cousin sounds like jealous ass. 

mamabear8710
by Bronze Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this

omg what a douchebag...

Quoting LuckyLady0427:

Thanks! I wanted to do it for a while, but figured i would give her the benefit of the doubt...i almost did it when she asked me to change my wedding color from purple to blue because purple doesnt look good with her skin....LOL


LuckyLady0427
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:08 AM

She's a special breed, that's for sure. I let a lot go with her...like the way she dressed at my shower and any time shes around human beings...like she's about to climb a pole. LOL what a character. I can appreciate her for who she is as long as she isnt part of my special day :)

schultzal
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 6:07 AM
2 moms liked this
Good for you for cutting her loose! Sounds like she was just making it all more stressful for you!
Alexsi1
by Alexandra on Aug. 18, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this

You did good. 

mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:27 AM

I would not have asked her in the first place.

Glad things worked out.

LuckyLady0427
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:31 AM

 I truly didn't want to, but as usual, she would have played the victim and my family would have thought it was rude of me. Now, at least they got to wittness why i didn't want to ask her and supported me having her out. Unfortunately in a big italian family, sometimes it's easier to just do what keeps people quiet and i tried...but it did not work.


Quoting mysticalmalissa:

I would not have asked her in the first place.

Glad things worked out.


 

BeccaJoy622
by Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this
Good for you for standing up to her! It's YOUR day and you deserve nothing but love and happiness when you get married. How do you think she'll be at the actual event and reception though? You don't think she'd be the type to cause a scene would you? Either way, you did the right thing.
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