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I just found out he's been having an affair!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
We've haven't been doing so well. He's become lazy and mean. Things were good until he got this job last year & be bragged about his single coworkers and their sex life. Well 3 months ago I gave birth to his son. Our marriage has hit rock bottom & we fight all the time. A few hours ago I was in the bedroom, just got the baby to bed when I see a glow under the bed. He left his phone there. I picked it up and looked at it. I've NEVER touched his phone all these years, going on 10 married. He got a message from this girl. I started reading it and all the past messages.

They've been having cyber sex. The worst part was he told her he wanted her to have his baby! I am totally lost for words! I confronted him and he said they never had real sex but I don't believe him. I'm going to set up an appointment with my doctor for an HIV test.

My heart is broken! I can't sleep. I'm at a loss!!
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 20, 2013 at 2:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2013 at 2:11 AM
I have a VERY stressful job as an accountant for a failing company. We just switched POS software and sales are messed up bad. Tomorrow (well its today now) me and the CPA have to do sales taxes plus payroll is due this week. I want to call in sick but I can't. How am I going to focus on work?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2013 at 2:22 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 20, 2013 at 2:30 AM
Bump?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 20, 2013 at 5:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Im really sorry that you're going through this,and especially at a time when you need him the most. Its sad and sickening that there are woman out there who have no respect for themselves, knowingly having an affair with a man who has a life partner and a new born baby to top it all. Ive never been in this situation and I hope that I will never have to feel what you are feeling right now, but what I have learned from others experiences is that if a man is inclined to cheat wether it be physically or emotionally, it is the way he is and he will never change. Sad as it may be. The cheating gene is within all human beings, its completely up to you as a person whether you act on it or not. The sad part about it all is,  even though you might forgive him you will never really trust him completely again, and you will never forget what he has done. He has installed the seed of doubt into your mind and once that is there, it is very difficult to get rid of.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 20, 2013 at 5:12 AM
1 mom liked this
This discovery would be shattering no matter what was or wasn't going on at work. Maybe work will help take your mind off of it anyway. Please don't believe him about the 'not cheating' thing. Of course he has cheated. If you just had a baby you shouldn't need an hiv test. You need to file for divorce and kick him out. If he wants to reconcile later you demand total access to all accounts and records. If he won't comply, he cant come back.
Coline
by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 6:47 AM
So sorry! It is the worst feeling in the world, you will never be able to trust him again! Good luck with every thing! I hope you all the best! No one can say they know how you feel unless they have been through that!
Alexsi1
by Alexandra on Aug. 20, 2013 at 8:49 AM

I'm so sorry. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 20, 2013 at 9:10 AM
I accidently quoted someone I.stead of just commenting lol. Sorry and deleted it.
Anyways, I went through something similar. Found out my ex husband was having an internet affair. I know they couldn't have physical sex cuz they lived in separate countries. He wanted to actually f*ck her. I remember how he always told me he loved me and wanted just me. Then, after I discovered this affair, he was telling her the same bs. I divorced his ass. He did this for a few months till I found out, then he left me and moved to another state with his grandparents to continue his sick fantasy of this affair and ditched me and the kids. So, I did what was best for me and the kids and divorced him. He will never change. He is also verbally abusive and still is. As well as emotionally abusive. He still emotionally abuses me. Yet claims to love me and only does it cuz he is stressed. Get help for cows sake! Ugh but he won't... so I'm better off without him. And you are better off without your man. He won't stop. Its like an addiction. When he gets the taste of this sexual fantasy of sexting, its gonna be hard to stop. I hope he is strong enough to stop if he loves you. But my man didn't really love me so that's why he couldn't stop.
simsgm
by Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 11:49 AM

Look ima give you some hard truth FUCK him FUck her and you dont need him 

you just brought a miracle into this world I know its hard to find this out.but yes go get checked for everything and leave his ass

v2011
by Bronze Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 1:32 PM

I would suggest leaving him.  You can try to work it out but honestly the resentment that you will build up will probably ruin the relationship anyway.  It's so hard to build that trust back up and add to that a new baby which always (as wonderful as they are) strains a relationship.  

I am so sorry, I don't see a happy ending with him.  

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