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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

My marriage is crumbling...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
I've been a sahm for 5 years. Dh has always worked to provide for us. He has a good job & makes good money but some weeks he works 80 hours. We have 2 children that are 3 and 5. Over the past 6 months things have gone down the drain. Not a day goes by that we don't argue. I do everything involving the house & kids and if I ask for his help he gets pissed. He called me a fucking bitch tonight in front of our 5yo which resulted in our son telling him he doesn't love him. He tries to control me with money since I don't work. I have to BEG him to spend time with our kids which he rarely does. His phone gets gets more attention from him than our kids do. We haven't had sex since may but I just dont want to be close to him. He tries but I always push him away bc the hurtful things he says are always running through my head. I got pregnant in may and was tired a lot then found out the baby wasn't growing. I had to have a d & c and then bled for 2 months. I seriously think he has anger issues but he refuses to get help. I can talk to him in a quiet calm voice without cussing or yelling and he pops off at me. Idk what to do. I'm at my wits end. Any advice??
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 7, 2013 at 4:13 AM
Get professional help for urself if he doesnt want to. It will help u cope with him and possibly be able to get him in for counseling. Try that first insteas of just leaving. Im sorry ur going through that. Try a support group or even go to church if ur not already. Just go relax at the park with ur kids too. getting out ans enjoying nature helps. Good luck
chicklopez
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 4:58 AM

 he needs to go to counseling or you're leaving. hes abusive, using money to control you, everything points to control issues. And he isnt even a good dad, not playing with the kids?

 

SWEET737
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:08 AM

Has he been acting angry  and or snapping for no reason before you got pregnant in May? Either he is exhausted from working to much or he is sex deprived. If you are arguing about finances or bills then maybe you can find a part time job or work from home. Do you think he is cheating? He is obviously frustrated about something unless he has always been that way but slowly but surely showing his true colors.

jamamama00
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm not excusing his behavior, but those work hours are absolutely insane. With those hours, he can't possinly be getting enough sleep....let alone find time to help around the house. Have you guys talked about you getting a job and him finding something less strenuous?
jamamama00
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:16 AM
1 mom liked this
I should also add that cutting off the sex is a recipe for disaster. That is just going to blow things up even more. I understand you're upset with him but if you want to improve your situation this is not the right way to go about it.
Caera
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 9:04 AM

Yeah, stop bugging him to do housework if he's working 80 hours a week.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 9:09 AM
No financial issues. He doesn't want me to work anyway until the kids are in school. No I don't think he's cheating.


Quoting SWEET737:

Has he been acting angry  and or snapping for no reason before you got pregnant in May? Either he is exhausted from working to much or he is sex deprived. If you are arguing about finances or bills then maybe you can find a part time job or work from home. Do you think he is cheating? He is obviously frustrated about something unless he has always been that way but slowly but surely showing his true colors.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 9:13 AM
If I ask him to do anything it's simple. Like turning the dishwasher on or carrying the carpet shampooer upstairs for me. I don't ask for much. My main issues are his temper and neglecting our kids.


Quoting Caera:

Yeah, stop bugging him to do housework if he's working 80 hours a week.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 9:15 AM
And yes he's always been this way. For as long as I can remember. We've been married 5 years and together 10 altogether.


Quoting Anonymous:

No financial issues. He doesn't want me to work anyway until the kids are in school. No I don't think he's cheating.




Quoting SWEET737:

Has he been acting angry  and or snapping for no reason before you got pregnant in May? Either he is exhausted from working to much or he is sex deprived. If you are arguing about finances or bills then maybe you can find a part time job or work from home. Do you think he is cheating? He is obviously frustrated about something unless he has always been that way but slowly but surely showing his true colors.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 7, 2013 at 9:18 AM
He likes his job and I will do something when the kids are in school. He thinks me working would be a waste bc my check would go to daycare. He tried hard to get the job he's got. He knew the hours. It's the money he's obsessed with and can't walk away from.


Quoting jamamama00:

I'm not excusing his behavior, but those work hours are absolutely insane. With those hours, he can't possinly be getting enough sleep....let alone find time to help around the house. Have you guys talked about you getting a job and him finding something less strenuous?

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