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What would you do if your 18 yr old told you she was pregnant?

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:24 AM
  • 55 Replies

My 18 yr old informed me she's having a baby.   While I would have preferred her being married first, then getting pregnant, I am excited to become a grandma by blood for the first time (I have 9 inherited grandchildren).  Problem is his parents don't think they should get married.  They have been dating for almost 2 yrs and had already talked about getting engaged.  Am I wrong in thinking that they should get married?  Any advice is welcome.

by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
thefiregoddess
by Bronze Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:28 AM
3 moms liked this
I wouldn't be pressing for marriage. Marriage because of a pregnancy is an archaic thought, with bad results.

They could progress in their relationship as they saw fit.
Brycensmommy85
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 1:47 AM
1 mom liked this

I got married because I was pregnant and it was a bad idea. I was 23 and had a career a college degree and while I was unprepared for a baby I was more unprepared for being married to a man I didn't love. (My Catholic mother pushed me to marry and I thought the love would grow....it did not.) My advice would be don't let her get married she is too young and who you want at 18 is not who you want at 30. I am glad you are supporting her and her unborn baby though. I'd say let them continue to date or even get engaged but wait and see how raising their child goes and so on. I don't think having a child automatically shackles a woman to marriage anymore, there's no need to rush.

Rampgirl04
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 4:03 AM

I don't personally have a 18 year old just yet but in a short 5 years my oldest will be 18. As for what I would do if I ever found out my daughter(s) ever became pregnant at 18 would be I would of course be there for them emotionally and of course help out in anyway possible but would also probably have a long sit down talk with the babys father and his parents and see how they feel about things and discuss how financially things are going to work out when baby comes as well.

Congrats to your Daughter having her first baby I hope it works out for her. Since she is still young yet I'd personally say in my opinion that her and her BF should wait to get married until after the baby is born and see how they get along as parents since having a baby can be a very life changing event for sure. I was 21 when I had my first and I made the mistake of marrying my first husband(now my ex husband) before our baby girl was born and I wish I would've waited because he changed after that. I'm not saying that this is going to happen in your DD situation but it's just something to keep in mind as again babies change everything lol. Don't get me wrong my kids are the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn't change anything in the world and Love all my kids to pieces :)

I hope she has a healthy happy baby and I hope for much happiness ahead of her.

mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 5:09 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you need to let her live her life....her way.

IUMer
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:26 AM

Been there, done that with my beautiful daughter. They should ONLY get married if they are in love and really feel like their marriage will last forever.  =)

shansa3fan
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:27 AM

Well, if I had been given this news, I would have had a heart attack. My goal in like was for her to not have a teenage pregnancy. The number of pregnant friends she has is just staggering. I personally would hope she would not get married until after the baby was born. On the other hand, I'm not going to tell her what she can and cannot do in this situation. You can tell her your opinions if she asks but in the end, it's her decision, her life. Learning this lesson the hard way and finding out that if I say yes, she says no, I say white, she says black... you know what I'm saying.

momto3B
by Bronze Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:28 AM

Does you daughter have a job, educational plans? Does her boyfriend? Where are they going to live, can they earn a living to support their child?

momto3B
by Bronze Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:30 AM

Where do you live that so many teenage girls are pregnant?


Quoting shansa3fan:

Well, if I had been given this news, I would have had a heart attack. My goal in like was for her to not have a teenage pregnancy. The number of pregnant friends she has is just staggering. I personally would hope she would not get married until after the baby was born. On the other hand, I'm not going to tell her what she can and cannot do in this situation. You can tell her your opinions if she asks but in the end, it's her decision, her life. Learning this lesson the hard way and finding out that if I say yes, she says no, I say white, she says black... you know what I'm saying.



shansa3fan
by Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:36 AM


In a very small town with not much to do. I kept her busy and on birth control. With a family of 6 all crammed into this little house, there was no room for another baby.

Quoting momto3B:

Where do you live that so many teenage girls are pregnant?


Quoting shansa3fan:

Well, if I had been given this news, I would have had a heart attack. My goal in like was for her to not have a teenage pregnancy. The number of pregnant friends she has is just staggering. I personally would hope she would not get married until after the baby was born. On the other hand, I'm not going to tell her what she can and cannot do in this situation. You can tell her your opinions if she asks but in the end, it's her decision, her life. Learning this lesson the hard way and finding out that if I say yes, she says no, I say white, she says black... you know what I'm saying.





Fairywings1223
by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 7:36 AM

I would be happy for her but wish she would of waited until she was married. I would do what ever I could do to help her with college.

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