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Tired of being the only friend!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
I've been feeling down for the last 2 months. I have been stressing out. All I've been doing is crying because it seems like none of my friends are ever around anymore. It seems like when they get new friends they stop talking to me, but I'm still good enough to watch their kids! I get jealous when they are posting on FB about who their with and where or their pictures of them out and I'm not a jealous person either. So when I finally start telling my "friends" and even new acquaintances how I feel they all say why don't we go out or I'm here for you if you want to talk but if they really are here for me why can't they call or text me? Shouldn't friends call each other? I know if one of my friends called me crying saying how upset they feel and how lonely they feel I would call them even if I can only talk for 5 minutes it still shows that I'm trying to be a good friend and that I do care about you. And then when I take them up on their offer of going out and set up a good date or time they cancel on me!!!! I just don't know what to do....? I'm a good friend. I don't talk about you behind your back when you need something I will help you to the best of my ability. I just don't get it!!!!
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
anotherhalf
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry you feel so bad.  It sounds like you are kind of in a downward spiral and it is hard to make new friends when you are sad and want support because that is a lot to ask of an acquaintance.  I know for myself, as much as I would love to hand out and chat with friends, I'm just too busy.  I can barely get done what needs to get done for my family.  I bet a lot of the women you meet are in the same boat.  I hope you feel better and meet someone you can count on.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM
2 moms liked this

I know exactly how you feel.  I'm the one called if someone needs something but I rarely get the call to see if I want to meet up for lunch or grab a cup of coffee.   I've basically given up on having friends.  If I could isolate myself from the world I probably would.  I honestly cannot remember the last time someone called me just to say hi.

You may be lonely but you are not alone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:04 PM
I understand completely that people get busy! I have 4 kids whom are all involved in sports so it seems like my life revolves around sports a lot, but I still have time to call or text a friend and talk for 5 minutes. Some of these friends I see on a weekly basis due to a non profit organization we are part of and it just seems like lately trying to hold a conversation with them is like giving a cat a bath! Lol they say let's go out this Friday-ok I have nothing going on- then i get a text saying they can't go out, but yet they post on Facebook on Saturday night that they are with so and so at such and such place.... And these are people I've been friends with for a few years. I don't know, I'm not trying to be crappy just giving you more insight ;)


Quoting anotherhalf:

I'm sorry you feel so bad.  It sounds like you are kind of in a downward spiral and it is hard to make new friends when you are sad and want support because that is a lot to ask of an acquaintance.  I know for myself, as much as I would love to hand out and chat with friends, I'm just too busy.  I can barely get done what needs to get done for my family.  I bet a lot of the women you meet are in the same boat.  I hope you feel better and meet someone you can count on.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:38 PM
Exactly I had a friend whom I haven't spoken to in 2 months she calls me one night just to ask me to watch her kids so she can go to a baseball game! I'm not asking for someone to spend all day with me but I just wish I had someone that would call just to say hi sometimes just a friendly voice can make a day better!


Quoting Anonymous:

I know exactly how you feel.  I'm the one called if someone needs something but I rarely get the call to see if I want to meet up for lunch or grab a cup of coffee.   I've basically given up on having friends.  If I could isolate myself from the world I probably would.  I honestly cannot remember the last time someone called me just to say hi.

You may be lonely but you are not alone.


amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:50 PM

I totally get it.  I'm often the friend who sets up get togethers, girls nights, etc.  One thing that has helped is taking a step back and letting someone else do it.  Slowly they are coming around.

In fact, I'm going out with a girlfriend and her hubby this weekend!  In a couple of weeks another friend and i are going to go out and get tattoos together (her idea).  

anotherhalf
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:51 PM

I see.  These "friends" aren't too busy to go out, they specifically exclude you.  That really sucks.  I'd be hurt too.

Quoting Anonymous:

I understand completely that people get busy! I have 4 kids whom are all involved in sports so it seems like my life revolves around sports a lot, but I still have time to call or text a friend and talk for 5 minutes. Some of these friends I see on a weekly basis due to a non profit organization we are part of and it just seems like lately trying to hold a conversation with them is like giving a cat a bath! Lol they say let's go out this Friday-ok I have nothing going on- then i get a text saying they can't go out, but yet they post on Facebook on Saturday night that they are with so and so at such and such place.... And these are people I've been friends with for a few years. I don't know, I'm not trying to be crappy just giving you more insight ;)


Quoting anotherhalf:

I'm sorry you feel so bad.  It sounds like you are kind of in a downward spiral and it is hard to make new friends when you are sad and want support because that is a lot to ask of an acquaintance.  I know for myself, as much as I would love to hand out and chat with friends, I'm just too busy.  I can barely get done what needs to get done for my family.  I bet a lot of the women you meet are in the same boat.  I hope you feel better and meet someone you can count on.






Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 6:20 PM
Yes I do feel really hurt! I just get it because it's ALL of my friends. Oh we'll thanks for your advice tho :) maybe things will turn around in a little bit


Quoting anotherhalf:

I see.  These "friends" aren't too busy to go out, they specifically exclude you.  That really sucks.  I'd be hurt too.

Quoting Anonymous:

I understand completely that people get busy! I have 4 kids whom are all involved in sports so it seems like my life revolves around sports a lot, but I still have time to call or text a friend and talk for 5 minutes. Some of these friends I see on a weekly basis due to a non profit organization we are part of and it just seems like lately trying to hold a conversation with them is like giving a cat a bath! Lol they say let's go out this Friday-ok I have nothing going on- then i get a text saying they can't go out, but yet they post on Facebook on Saturday night that they are with so and so at such and such place.... And these are people I've been friends with for a few years. I don't know, I'm not trying to be crappy just giving you more insight ;)





Quoting anotherhalf:

I'm sorry you feel so bad.  It sounds like you are kind of in a downward spiral and it is hard to make new friends when you are sad and want support because that is a lot to ask of an acquaintance.  I know for myself, as much as I would love to hand out and chat with friends, I'm just too busy.  I can barely get done what needs to get done for my family.  I bet a lot of the women you meet are in the same boat.  I hope you feel better and meet someone you can count on.





Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 9, 2013 at 6:28 PM
Before this happened the planning of gatherings were always both ways but now nobody seems to have any time for me at all. I called one friend up a few weeks ago and just cried she goes this Friday lets go get drinks I said that's fine and then I asked on Thursday if we were still going and she yes so Friday I'm getting ready - it takes me 2 hours to do my hair cuz there is a lot of it- half way done with my hair and she sends me a text telling me she can't go out but we'll try for another night.... I haven't heard from her since:( ugh!!!! So irritating!


Quoting amonkeymom:

I totally get it.  I'm often the friend who sets up get togethers, girls nights, etc.  One thing that has helped is taking a step back and letting someone else do it.  Slowly they are coming around.

In fact, I'm going out with a girlfriend and her hubby this weekend!  In a couple of weeks another friend and i are going to go out and get tattoos together (her idea).  


tikirose91
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 6:35 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't consider myself to have many "friends' because there are not very many people who value me as a person like I do them. I call my friends all the time, want to hangout whenever they're available, always available to listen when they're upset, and pay for outings when we do hangout. I get tired of feeling like all of my friendships are one-sided! I call them, I drive to them, and I keep in touch with them on FB or wherever. Maybe I care too much about other people, once my child is born that will all change, they will take the back-burner I guess then I will see how much of a priority I really am to these so called "friends" of mine.

I am sorry you're being excluded and neglected by people who have lead you to believe you have more of a connection then they want. I am a bitch I would confront them and ask "Am I a babysitter or your friend? I don't mind watching your kids, but I feel like that's the only time you acknowledge our friendship! If you're going to hangout with friends, instead of going out to a baseball game like you told me I would rather you just be honest. Finding out over Facebook is disrepectful to me and I am not tolerating it!"



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NDADanceMom
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 6:41 PM
People look for different things in friends. My husband, sister and mom are my emotional supports. With my friends i just want to have fun. I don't want to hang out with someone who is a downer or needy. I don't want to hear problems. I just want to have dinner, shop, etc. sure we give life updates, if someone was sick or getting divorced i would ask how they were, bring a meal, etc but i don't want to constantly hear negative stuff. I'd be with other friends!
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