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Being abused/bullied by my ex AND his entire family

Posted by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:34 PM
  • 30 Replies

I need help with something. I was in an abusive relationship with the father of my now 7 year old daughter. I left him in 2008, but the abuse never ends. True, he has not had the ability to actually physically harm me in a few years, but he and his family are a group of serial bullies. They usually target me by taking me to court and making up false accusations, or by saying durogatory things about me when my child is there for visits. There is a lot of backstory here, but I am trying to keep it current. My ex is supposed to have visits supervised at a safety center, and his mother took me to court for "grandparent rights," so she is responsible for taking my daughter to the center the sundays she has her weekend. This has never happened-she picks up my kid and gives her to dad, when that day is supposed to be HER time to spend with the grandchild. Usually whatever girl dad was sleeping with that weekend brings my child home, even though the only one who is supposed to be transporting her is grandma. This weekend a stranger showed up in my driveway claiming to be a friend of the grandmother (most likely one of dad's f-buddies) and wanted to take my child, so we asked her to leave (esentially 'denied' visitation) and now there is this big poop storm on facebook, mostly, trash talking me about being a huge b*&%$ and how I am using my kid as leverage to keep them from having a relationship because we didn't work out as a couple (laughable!) and his whole family agrees. I have kind of gone on a tangent here, but I am looking for information on being abused by a family or a support group that can help me. I don't have people to talk with about this and I can't get through the next wave of terror alone, and I am kind of afraid

by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rwcw89
by Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:39 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:40 PM

You should get help  for women who are abused.There is an agency hotline.I wish you luck.Stay away from him,no contact,keep your child away,inform school of him.Get a dog.

psych_mom
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:42 PM

You can contact a domestic abuse shelter in your area and they will help you, even if it is to just get in touch with a support group.

rwcw89
by Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:43 PM
2 moms liked this

take them to court that they are leaving your child in the care of somebody you dont know and are afraid for your childs safety. if he's supposed to be supervised visitations and the grandma is not keeping her end of the bargain then her visitations can be removed . your the childs mother and have a right to say who can and cannot see your child / who can transport them. my df went through a similar thing he and bm had to go to supervised visitations at a center and only 2 people were allowed to transport the child . if they did anything but bring the kid to the center (as is bring the child to the dads house instead of the center) they would get that right revoked. 

opal10161973
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:44 PM
7 moms liked this

Grandmom is violating the CO and you need to drag her ass back to court and have them enforce it.  Take screen shots of the FB messages, print them out and bring them with you as evidence. 

Talk to the center, too.  Find out if they are even using it at all.  If you find out any dates or times that they are or are not using it, check back to FB and see if the posts made coincide with the dates and times of anything posted.  So, for instance, they didn't use it one weekend, find anything related to that weekend on FB that has a mention of where your DD might have been at the time.  Screen shot that and print it out as well to take to court. 

What they are doing is called parental interference.  They are not allowed to call you names or make derogatory remarks about you or to you, in front of your DD.  They can get into a shitstorm of trouble for doing that.  Especially the Grandmother, since she was granted rights for visitation.  They can quickly be taken away for shit like that. 

pandorasbox669
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 6:49 PM

I wish I could help u, maybe go 2 police, take them 2 court, document or something where u will have proof, GL & hope someone really can help u on here bc I'm not really sure myself, sorry!


Bonnie_
by Bronze Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 7:32 PM

You  never give your  child over to anyone  that isn't court ordered.  Ever.  If you  did and something  happened to the child  you  would be held responsible.  Start  keeping a log  of everything  negative  that  they  do  and say.  Keep dates.   Start  copying  the  harrassments on Facebook.  Print  it all out.  Then  when  they take you  to court  you  will have  all the  negativity  to show the judge.

anotherhalf
by on Oct. 12, 2013 at 7:51 PM

Do you have a YWCA you can contact?  If not, you can try calling 211 to see if there are any other resources in your area.  Good luck!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 12, 2013 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this

You can take them to court for slander, libel, false accusations.  You need to file limitations to the custody agreement.  You need to say that your ex cannot be within so much distance to your daughter without the required supervision.  And if she can't use anyone to watch over without your consent and you have the right of first refusal.  Also, she MUST pick her up AND drop her off.  Also, none of the family may say one word against you on social media, emails, phone calls, especially in the presence of your daughter.  If she violates ANY of these, you have the right to deny visitation until the next court case for review.

RaniNY
by Member on Oct. 12, 2013 at 9:20 PM
1 mom liked this
This looks like sound advice. I'd do just this.


Quoting opal10161973:

Grandmom is violating the CO and you need to drag her ass back to court and have them enforce it.  Take screen shots of the FB messages, print them out and bring them with you as evidence. 

Talk to the center, too.  Find out if they are even using it at all.  If you find out any dates or times that they are or are not using it, check back to FB and see if the posts made coincide with the dates and times of anything posted.  So, for instance, they didn't use it one weekend, find anything related to that weekend on FB that has a mention of where your DD might have been at the time.  Screen shot that and print it out as well to take to court. 

What they are doing is called parental interference.  They are not allowed to call you names or make derogatory remarks about you or to you, in front of your DD.  They can get into a shitstorm of trouble for doing that.  Especially the Grandmother, since she was granted rights for visitation.  They can quickly be taken away for shit like that. 


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