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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

Get away with your emotions wench!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 3 Replies

 I hate how my relationship with DH has changed. He's there to support and help me physically and financially. However, when it comes to my emotions, he's completely gone anymore. I can be having a rough and stressful day for whatever reason and he either just doesn't care or gets mad at me for trying to talk to him about it. I try to open up to him about how I feel and I get shot down. Talking doesn't work. He doesn't comfort me at all. He just makes it worse. I'm at the point of not knowing what to do anymore. I've coped this long and it's really taking a toll on me through depression. It sucks because now the things in my life that I have to be happy about are just "blah" to me.  I'm sick of it.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 14, 2013 at 7:43 AM
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Replies (1-3):
Missdameanor
by Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 8:35 AM

You need to show him this post. Men often don't know how to deal with a womans emotions and it is likely that he doesn't realize just how badly this is effecting you. Best  of luck Momma!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 14, 2013 at 9:18 AM

Sadly, I've tried to tell him exactly what I wrote in this post. It's like he doesn't understand how bad it really affects me.
Thank you.

Quoting Missdameanor:

You need to show him this post. Men often don't know how to deal with a womans emotions and it is likely that he doesn't realize just how badly this is effecting you. Best  of luck Momma!!


Missdameanor
by Member on Oct. 14, 2013 at 9:36 AM

I completely understand.

Men don't really like to deal with emotions (this does not apply to all men ) and I think it makes them uncomfortable because they tend to be fixers. Most young men were brought up with the BIG BOYS DONT CRY attitude and it goes against their grain when there is alot of emotional weight in conversations. Early in my marriage I could actually WATCH THE CHANGE COME OVER MY HUSBANDS FACE THE MOMENT HE SHUT DOWN RIGHT AFTER I WOULD BEGIN TO CRY. They don't know how to handle it. Often times it has nothing to do with how much they care about you. I have heard so many stories from women whose husband only first heard them when they were telling him they wanted a divorce. Most mens first response when you tell them something , is to tell you how to fix it. Often times we as women don't want them to fix it, we want them to listen and HEAR what we are feeling.

Example: (Woman)  Lisa (woman's friend) was kind of bitchy to me today.

(Man) Really? What happened?

(Woman) Well, She said that I never have time for her anymore and she thinks our friendship has suffered.

(Man) Screw her! She is selfish. Don't call her anymore!

without realizing it the man just shut this woman down. She really wanted him to say "that must have hurt, do you think things will blow over?" Or " You know she cares about you, she is probably under a ton of stress right now". Anything but what he said.

With the genders thinking in different terms, it is often a challenge to have clear communication. In my experience it was easier for me to learn why HE did the things he did than for him to try to figure me out ( I am soooo complex!! lol )

Please don't give up hope, with love and understanding all things are possible!

Quoting Anonymous:

Sadly, I've tried to tell him exactly what I wrote in this post. It's like he doesn't understand how bad it really affects me.
Thank you.

Quoting Missdameanor:

You need to show him this post. Men often don't know how to deal with a womans emotions and it is likely that he doesn't realize just how badly this is effecting you. Best  of luck Momma!!




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