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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

Am I selfish?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies
1 mom liked this
My husband and I have one baby girl almost 5. We have a normal life nothing out if the ordinary. I try to talk to him about about having another baby. He just ignores me. I don't know what to do. I would like to have another baby and he thinks its too soon. What can I do. I don't think it's fair to me he won't even talk to me about this.
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 21, 2013 at 3:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lizzy_ellie
by Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 3:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Poke holes in condoms, forget your pill lol JUST KIDDING! It's not really fair he isn't talking to you about it but obviously that show's he's not even a little interested. When you had your daughter, who did most of the work? Are you 2 still madly in love?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:01 PM
He helped. I think we are. But maybe we've grown apart.
xoxRachelxox
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:04 PM

I would sit him down and ask him why he wants to wait and how much longer. 

I think 5 years is plenty of years between kids. 

Did you guys ever discuss how many kids you wanted before you got married?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:51 PM
Yes, but every time i try to talk with him it goes no where. He gets mad because i do talk about it.
psych_mom
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:34 PM

It sounds like he doesn't want another one at all.

And no, I don't think you are selfish, just sounds like you want a larger family.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:08 AM
2 moms liked this

If he doesn't want one, he doesn't want one. Tricking him into a pregnancy will not make your life better

notomatoes
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 11:39 AM
no, honestly considering the economy, hes being practical stopping at one, i stopped at one, but our daughter is almost four and and i 44, so i am DONE! no more morning sickness, no more clown size feet, no more clothing that doubles as a circus tent, no more boobs that are so big and sore you sneeze and you get a" boob wave", stretch marks..and i gave birth to my first (and last!) child in a bathroom! not doing that again!
crystalmarie634
by New Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 12:02 PM

Did you 2 talk about it before your first? I was in the same boat many moons ago. I think talking about it can be more stressful than actually DO-ing. There's never enough (money, time, parentlng skills). If you're looking for real advice, my honest opinion is to give it a month or so without bringing it up. Then, write a letter with all the pros and cons of having another child. Write from your heart about what having another means to you. Put together a plan for getting there (couple's counseling, budgeting, etc.). If it is really important to you, ignoring it permanently won't make it go away. See if the two of you can come together. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 23, 2013 at 2:01 PM

Most guys that are that shut down are doing so because they are only together for the sake of the child. This could mean he doesn't want to talk about it because then it would mean he'd need to tell you he is thinking of never doing that and/or leaving when your dd is old enough. I'm only gonna post anon because I don't want you to be upset about what I'm saying or be hurt.

VintageWife
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:51 PM
1 mom liked this

O.o

I don't even know what to say.

Quoting notomatoes:

no, honestly considering the economy, hes being practical stopping at one, i stopped at one, but our daughter is almost four and and i 44, so i am DONE! no more morning sickness, no more clown size feet, no more clothing that doubles as a circus tent, no more boobs that are so big and sore you sneeze and you get a" boob wave", stretch marks..and i gave birth to my first (and last!) child in a bathroom! not doing that again!


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