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What am I, a damn bank. (Edit)

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:22 PM
  • 26 Replies

Today is my seven year anniversary. Everything was going well, went to go watch Thor and did a little shopping.

I get a call. It's my dad.

He said there was a problem. My stomach dropped and instantly I think it's about his health. (He's in a nursing home and is really sick.)

Well had nothing to do with him, but my mother. (His ex)

Her car broke down and she needs help to get a new one.

1. I just returned back to work after 14 weeks of maternity leave. I don't have the money, and I refuse to tap into my savings.

2. I'm not co-signing nor loaning her money. I'll get screwed over...learned my lesson after the few times I loaned her money. Never saw a dime back.

I told him no. I didn't have it. That I've told her several times to go a dealership and trade in that piece of crap. There are companies willing to work with people with shitty credit.

What pissed me off the most is him asking me this.

"You have two vehicle's...don't you think you can loan her one?"

First of all...I live 300 miles away.

second...loaning a vehicle to her means we gave it to her. She pulled that crap when I loaned her money.

I work hard. Maybe if she quit buying cartons of cigarettes and put that money in savings she wouldn't be needing my help. Am I wrong here?



----Edit-----

Well apparently by my sisters FB status as of last night...I don't give a rats ass about them. 

Thank you all for the awesome amount of feedback you've given me, I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry I didn't quote everyone faster, we got home really late last night and my phone died. :/ But I'll answer as much as I can on this edit. 

I'll go ahead and answer my sisters age because I have a feeling it might be asked. She's about to turn 24 and she has no job. She's disabled (she's had leg surgery and a kidney transplant) but is more than able to work, but complains she can't because of the pain. I've explained workplaces have to work with you, they won't make you stand for long periods of time. Or to look for an office job. (She refuses)

Going off topic....anywhoo. 

The reason she won't call me is because of the last time she asked me for money, I plain out said no. She also told me she was drawing up this life insurance policy and needed my ss#. I said no. 

Long story short, she got severly pissed off and threatened me with this so call 'grandparent's rights' which two of my attorney friends said she was full of it. (It was posted here along time ago, can't remember if I deleted it or not)

I am pissed that she ran to my father and asked him for help. (Especially since she pulled out a loan in his name, got him to sign, then up and left him alone in the house. He's blind and an amputee all due to diabetes. I was 17 when I left home, I was pregnant and started my own life. I took care of him by myself since middle school. Mom decided to move down during the end of my high school and took over then, which was only like a year or two)

The poor man doesn't have that much money to begin with. So, he broke down and started calling all my family on his side. They all said no. 

Which is understandable. 

Yes, I'm upset that he called me asking. I know he was just trying to help, but he knew how I felt when mom asked me. (I think I'm more upset because he asked me on my wedding anni, and just ruined the day)

Like I said to anon, I have given her several chances. I've talked to her and explained what she needed to do, but she didn't do it. I've tried, I did my part of being supportive. 

She won't call a taxi or take a bus, because she "doesn't have the money."

She needs to be wiser with her money, put $20 aside every check, it'll add up. 

But I do NOT work my ass off to support a grown ass woman. I have my own family I need to care for. 



by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
opal10161973
by Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:29 PM

Nope, it's worse.  She put that BS onto your Dad.  She shouldn't have said a damn word to him about it.  Twunt.

Dewinter
by Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:33 PM

 No you are not wrong. You learned your lesson and refused to be used again and again. Put your foot down and stay strong. I am in the exact same boat as you and I finally had enough.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Once I knew she smoked it changed my point of view. nope your right. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:58 PM

She is your mother.

amandacr1026
by Bronze Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 9:04 PM

I'd say the same. I'm more than willing to help someone if I can but if I've gotten shit on by them before it won't happen again. Sounds like your mom needs to learn how to manage her life.

H.Perales
by Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 9:23 PM
And?

Quoting Anonymous:

She is your mother.

psych_mom
by Gold Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 12:33 AM

Nope, sounds like she doesn't think that she has to help herself and that you should do it for her. Essentially they think you should buy her a new car.

psych_mom
by Gold Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 12:34 AM

So, if my mother loans me money I am expected to pay it back, why would it be any different in this situation. Sounds like her mother likes to make broken promises.

Quoting Anonymous:

She is your mother.


Bonnie_
by Bronze Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 3:45 AM

Can't she take the bus  or  get a  friend to drive  her?

mysticalmalissa
by Silver Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 5:36 AM

Why doesn't she call you?

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