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What am I, a damn bank. (Edit)

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Today is my seven year anniversary. Everything was going well, went to go watch Thor and did a little shopping.

I get a call. It's my dad.

He said there was a problem. My stomach dropped and instantly I think it's about his health. (He's in a nursing home and is really sick.)

Well had nothing to do with him, but my mother. (His ex)

Her car broke down and she needs help to get a new one.

1. I just returned back to work after 14 weeks of maternity leave. I don't have the money, and I refuse to tap into my savings.

2. I'm not co-signing nor loaning her money. I'll get screwed over...learned my lesson after the few times I loaned her money. Never saw a dime back.

I told him no. I didn't have it. That I've told her several times to go a dealership and trade in that piece of crap. There are companies willing to work with people with shitty credit.

What pissed me off the most is him asking me this.

"You have two vehicle's...don't you think you can loan her one?"

First of all...I live 300 miles away.

second...loaning a vehicle to her means we gave it to her. She pulled that crap when I loaned her money.

I work hard. Maybe if she quit buying cartons of cigarettes and put that money in savings she wouldn't be needing my help. Am I wrong here?



----Edit-----

Well apparently by my sisters FB status as of last night...I don't give a rats ass about them. 

Thank you all for the awesome amount of feedback you've given me, I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry I didn't quote everyone faster, we got home really late last night and my phone died. :/ But I'll answer as much as I can on this edit. 

I'll go ahead and answer my sisters age because I have a feeling it might be asked. She's about to turn 24 and she has no job. She's disabled (she's had leg surgery and a kidney transplant) but is more than able to work, but complains she can't because of the pain. I've explained workplaces have to work with you, they won't make you stand for long periods of time. Or to look for an office job. (She refuses)

Going off topic....anywhoo. 

The reason she won't call me is because of the last time she asked me for money, I plain out said no. She also told me she was drawing up this life insurance policy and needed my ss#. I said no. 

Long story short, she got severly pissed off and threatened me with this so call 'grandparent's rights' which two of my attorney friends said she was full of it. (It was posted here along time ago, can't remember if I deleted it or not)

I am pissed that she ran to my father and asked him for help. (Especially since she pulled out a loan in his name, got him to sign, then up and left him alone in the house. He's blind and an amputee all due to diabetes. I was 17 when I left home, I was pregnant and started my own life. I took care of him by myself since middle school. Mom decided to move down during the end of my high school and took over then, which was only like a year or two)

The poor man doesn't have that much money to begin with. So, he broke down and started calling all my family on his side. They all said no. 

Which is understandable. 

Yes, I'm upset that he called me asking. I know he was just trying to help, but he knew how I felt when mom asked me. (I think I'm more upset because he asked me on my wedding anni, and just ruined the day)

Like I said to anon, I have given her several chances. I've talked to her and explained what she needed to do, but she didn't do it. I've tried, I did my part of being supportive. 

She won't call a taxi or take a bus, because she "doesn't have the money."

She needs to be wiser with her money, put $20 aside every check, it'll add up. 

But I do NOT work my ass off to support a grown ass woman. I have my own family I need to care for. 



by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:22 PM
Replies (21-26):
katarina666
by Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 6:33 PM

As for your sister it would be very hard for her to work. Due to the transplant she is taking Anti-rejection drugs, which compromise your immune system ,making you susceptible to every cold,flu or virus that comes your way. After my brother had his transplant the Doctors told him not to go back to work for this reason. He didn't listen and eventually got to the point where he was getting constantly sick which then kept turning into life threatening pneumonia . So unless she can find a work at home job she is better off on disability. Kidney transplant patients don't usually have to fight to get it. It's one of those Illnesses that give you an almost free pass. The medication she is on will easily run $3000 to $4000 a month. Where is she going to find a job where she makes that much money over the amount insurance pays to cover those costs?

H.Perales
by Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 7:24 PM


Quoting katarina666:

As for your sister it would be very hard for her to work. Due to the transplant she is taking Anti-rejection drugs, which compromise your immune system ,making you susceptible to every cold,flu or virus that comes your way. After my brother had his transplant the Doctors told him not to go back to work for this reason. He didn't listen and eventually got to the point where he was getting constantly sick which then kept turning into life threatening pneumonia . So unless she can find a work at home job she is better off on disability. Kidney transplant patients don't usually have to fight to get it. It's one of those Illnesses that give you an almost free pass. The medication she is on will easily run $3000 to $4000 a month. Where is she going to find a job where she makes that much money over the amount insurance pays to cover those costs?

She does not qualify for disability, they went to court several times. She wasn't 'disabled' enough. She is covered through my mothers insurance. 


MissTacoBell
by Taco Bell Princess on Nov. 10, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Doesn't sound wrong to me.
csxt99
by Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 11:03 PM

I opened this expecting that it was your kids always coming to you for money, not ever expecting that it would be for your mom.  From what you have written, I wouldn't give her a dime, either.  

pm4k
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 11:10 PM

I agree with you. It is not your place to take care of your mother and her possessions. If she can afford to smoke, she can figure out a way to get another car. As far as your sister...if she feels the need to say negative things about you on Facebook---ignore it. For whatever reason your mom and sister have a sense of entitlement without earning it. And yes I do agree that your sister could get a job---her past surgery is an excuse. I work with transplant patients and we encourage them to be productive---just sitting around is not good for them. 

Droyal14u
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 5:18 AM

Sad. I believe you made the right choice. Stay strong, don't give in and eventually she'll have to learn To stand on her own two feet. You have every right to be mad that dad asked you instead of mom, but that doesn't mean it has to ruin your day. You have your own family to worry about now. Draw your line in the sand and don't cross it. Good luck to you.

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