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My boyfriend's mother is annoying me.

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:07 PM
  • 18 Replies

Yesterday my boyfriend was getting blood work done at my clinic but turns out he has to be referred somewhere.My doctor had discussed that sickle-cell trait runs in my blood and if he also has a sickle-cell trait then the baby can have a possibility of having anemia.I'm a little scared.Also depression runs in my mother's family.I will know how to cope with it more when having a child who might possibly have a mental illness.But what really got me annoyed was that when he asked for him pcp's number she started bitching.She was being VERY rude.Saying that I needed an STD test.She assumed since we had been getting blood work that we were getting checked for STDs.I got checked for STDs in September.I go every three months to check for,cysts,fiberoids,STDs and now that I am pregnant I don't need to check for pregnancy.My boyfriend went with me that time and my doctor read us the results and I got a copy just in case our parents ask if we get checked.
My father was being very mean and telling her stuff to make her imply that I sleep around.WHICH IS NOT TRUE.And she told him to make sure he is the father.He is the only partner I have been with for the entire time we have been together.And I'm scared if she finds out that the baby may not be healthy she will tell us consistently to have an abortion(not that she already hasn't) I like to give unhealthy children a chance.We can't ALWAYS have children that are healthy.This is one of the reasons why I didn't want to get an abortion.I knew how my parents looked at me when I had been diagnosed with a mood disorder.I was very angry and violent.So I will be there every step of the way for my baby is something is wrong physically or mentally or both.
 

by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Howardx5
by Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this

anemia isnt a mental illness... 

Youre about to be a mother. who cares about what your or his parents are saying or what his mother thinks about you. do you really want the drama? 

CrownedPrincess
by Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:53 PM


No not sickle-cell.I meant depression being a mental illness.And I try not to deal with her drama.I don't care what she thinks.I'm just worried she can take away my boyfriend's cell phone and demand him not to see the baby or he is on his own.His mother provides him with money for food and clothing.Basically,she can be rude to us but if we talk back to her then she doesn't want to have nothing to do with us.And she ALWAYS wants to take his responsiblities and turn it into her own.
Like right now,she doesn't want nothing to do with the baby.In a few months she's going to want to plan the baby shower,the baby christening and etc.Its really annoying.Its his child,he should be able to handle his own and he's 18.And I don't really care what she has to say about me,its just some of the stuff is related to my child.No matter how much I don't like someone,I never bring in stuff I know will hurt them like "that's why your mother died from _____" or something really mean.She can say whatever she wants about me but my child is another story.

Quoting Howardx5:

anemia isnt a mental illness... 

Youre about to be a mother. who cares about what your or his parents are saying or what his mother thinks about you. do you really want the drama? 



jamorrall
by Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:55 PM
1 mom liked this
How old are you? You sound young. At some point you have to live your life and not think so much about what others are thinking. Have the child, others will come around. If they don't, then they aren't people you really want and need in your life anyway. I'm sorry those who should be surrounding you with love and positive support are struggling with their own issues. Congratulations! I wish you peace & a healthy pregnancy.
psych_mom
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:58 PM

Although your mom suffers from depression and you have issues with it, it does not mean that your child will 100%. If you keep your depression under control and treated, there is a good chance that your child may never deal with it. If I remember correctly there is only a 30%-40% chance that your child will suffer from it, but there is a higher chance that he/she will suffer from a behavioral disorder if your depression isn't treated.

psych_mom
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:59 PM
1 mom liked this

As far as boyfriend's mom wanting an abortion and all the other issues, they'll get over it, or not, but either way, stick to what you want.

CrownedPrincess
by Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:00 PM


Thank you!I am 16 but I'll be 17 by the time I am due and my boyfriend will be 19 on Christmas.Read the comment I wrote above you,it'll explain a lot.I don't care what his mother says about me.Its just our parents are acting like teenagers.My father wanted me to have an abortion based off of what my sister goes through in school.She feels people will run up to her and ask her if I'm pregnant.But NO ONE HAS.My friends told me no one talks about it.And also,because of what his friends think.My father owns a popular fan page so he's worried people might bash him because his daughter is pregnant.His mother can say what she wants about me.I know its not true and I don't care.Its just what she says about the baby that makes me feel bad.And I knwo she might say something like "Abort that thing its not even healthy."And that's going to really piss me off.

Quoting jamorrall:

How old are you? You sound young. At some point you have to live your life and not think so much about what others are thinking. Have the child, others will come around. If they don't, then they aren't people you really want and need in your life anyway. I'm sorry those who should be surrounding you with love and positive support are struggling with their own issues. Congratulations! I wish you peace & a healthy pregnancy.



CrownedPrincess
by Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:03 PM


I never knew that.That's interesting.Where did you pick that up from?I need to discuss this with my therapist.My obstetrician wants me back on meds.But only meds that pregnant women can take.She knows that pregnancy can give you the highs and lows and she knows without my meds it'll be worse.And she fears that I might commit suicide.I'm not sure why.But I will certainly get meds when I am pregnant.

Quoting psych_mom:

Although your mom suffers from depression and you have issues with it, it does not mean that your child will 100%. If you keep your depression under control and treated, there is a good chance that your child may never deal with it. If I remember correctly there is only a 30%-40% chance that your child will suffer from it, but there is a higher chance that he/she will suffer from a behavioral disorder if your depression isn't treated.



Howardx5
by Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:04 PM

hes 18. time to get a job and stop depending on mommy for one. 

for two- his mother cant keep him from you or the baby. its his choice. again- he needs to get a job, be a man, and stop being controled by mommy


Quoting CrownedPrincess:


No not sickle-cell.I meant depression being a mental illness.And I try not to deal with her drama.I don't care what she thinks.I'm just worried she can take away my boyfriend's cell phone and demand him not to see the baby or he is on his own.His mother provides him with money for food and clothing.Basically,she can be rude to us but if we talk back to her then she doesn't want to have nothing to do with us.And she ALWAYS wants to take his responsiblities and turn it into her own.
Like right now,she doesn't want nothing to do with the baby.In a few months she's going to want to plan the baby shower,the baby christening and etc.Its really annoying.Its his child,he should be able to handle his own and he's 18.And I don't really care what she has to say about me,its just some of the stuff is related to my child.No matter how much I don't like someone,I never bring in stuff I know will hurt them like "that's why your mother died from _____" or something really mean.She can say whatever she wants about me but my child is another story.

Quoting Howardx5:

anemia isnt a mental illness... 

Youre about to be a mother. who cares about what your or his parents are saying or what his mother thinks about you. do you really want the drama? 





Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Don't worry about the old hats. They sound like assholes.
psych_mom
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 11:09 PM

My undergrad is in psych and Christian counseling and I am working on my Masters in Professional Counseling. There are no meds that are safe to take while pregnant, they can all cause side effects while pregnant, such as low birth weight, birth defects, etc. There may be some that are safer to take later in pregnancy, but definitely not during the first trimester.

Quoting CrownedPrincess:


I never knew that.That's interesting.Where did you pick that up from?I need to discuss this with my therapist.My obstetrician wants me back on meds.But only meds that pregnant women can take.She knows that pregnancy can give you the highs and lows and she knows without my meds it'll be worse.And she fears that I might commit suicide.I'm not sure why.But I will certainly get meds when I am pregnant.

Quoting psych_mom:

Although your mom suffers from depression and you have issues with it, it does not mean that your child will 100%. If you keep your depression under control and treated, there is a good chance that your child may never deal with it. If I remember correctly there is only a 30%-40% chance that your child will suffer from it, but there is a higher chance that he/she will suffer from a behavioral disorder if your depression isn't treated.




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