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I don't want MIL babysitting my infant

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
So hubby and I are having a hard time financially. He works 4-6 hours a day, 5 days a week. I've asked him to look for something with more hours, but he wants me to go back to work part time instead. He said it's too hard to get a different job because of the economy, but he hasn't really tried looking. He went to college, but didn't get a degree. I have a cosmetology license so he thinks it will be easier for me to get a job than him.

My in-laws are moving out or state at the beginning of March, and we are going to rent their house from them since they will give us a better deal than anyone else. Our lease is up at the end of the month, so we'll be living with them until they move. They also want me to go back part time, and MIL has offered to watch my baby (who's 5 months old and exclusively breast fed) for me while I'm at work. I'm not comfortable with this.

MIL suffered from encephalitis about 7 or 8 years ago, and as a result she has brain damage. She had to relearn how to do everything, how to walk, talk, etc. Her speech is still not very good, she can only drive places that are a few miles away (and she's too scared to drive on the freeway) and she gets stressed out and overwhelmed very easily, and will start yelling and banging things around making all kinds of noise.

FIL and hubby seem to think she is perfectly capable of taking care of my infant though. I don't know how to bring up this extremely touchy subject, especially since we'll be living in their home. She's VERY sensitive. The reason I brought up the fact that he's breastfed is that there is a certain way to bottle feed breastfed babies, and I don't think she will have the patience to do this. But besides that, god forbid something were to happen where my son had to be rushed to the hospital, and she couldn't drive there? Or what if she couldn't get him to stop crying and became overwhelmed and stressed out? She throws things when she's stressed and angry. He will pick up on her stress and just cry more. I don't know what to do. I am completely uncomfortable with MIL watching him, but I don't have another choice for a babysitter. We can't afford to pay anyone, that would defeat the purpose of me going back to work. Not only that, but I don't know how to bring this up to hubby without him getting defensive and thinking I'm a total b.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
stormy0142
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:28 PM

I have no advice...but here is a bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm a mother of a three yr old. I was in an accident when he was seven months old and have a TBI. Many of the symptoms you mention, I have.

Yet, still, shockingly, both of my children still thrive and flourish.

Perhaps you could do some research regarding TBI's and what you need her to do.
Will she ever HAVE to drive on the freeway or just to the grocery or a retail store?

Has she been know to be volatile physically towards any family? Does getting irritated at loud noise cause her to lash out?

It's obviously your decision, but being as I am similar to her in symptoms and diagnoses, I can 't help but feel you just told me I should have had my infant taken away due to my disability.

I just think this grandma's diagnoses should get some research before just writing her off as dangerous or useless as a competent caregiver.

" Confessions of a TBI Survivor"
psych_mom
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:37 PM

I have to say, I never knew there was a special way to bottle feed breast fed babies and I had three that were breast fed- never did anything special or different when feeding them, so the fact that there is something special that you must do, other than putting the breast milk in a bottle, is a new one for me.

Now, as for your MIL, she is only going to be watching him for two or three months, correct? What are you going to do after she leaves?

Caera
by Bronze Member on Dec. 15, 2013 at 7:47 PM
2 moms liked this

Just don't go back to work until they're gone. Say you're looking, but no one's hired you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 15, 2013 at 8:43 PM

maybe you can do hair and makeup and stuff like that out of your home ..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 15, 2013 at 9:55 PM
I'm so sorry you were involved in an accident that left you with TBI. I'm not trying to offend anyone, I apologize. I'm just worried about the well being of my baby.

Yes, she would have to get on the freeway if my son would ever need to go to the hospital or urgent care. Yes, getting irritated at loud noises does cause her to lash out. She will start screaming, cursing, and throwing things around. This is why I'm concerned.

Quoting Anonymous: I'm a mother of a three yr old. I was in an accident when he was seven months old and have a TBI. Many of the symptoms you mention, I have.



Yet, still, shockingly, both of my children still thrive and flourish.



Perhaps you could do some research regarding TBI's and what you need her to do.

Will she ever HAVE to drive on the freeway or just to the grocery or a retail store?



Has she been know to be volatile physically towards any family? Does getting irritated at loud noise cause her to lash out?



It's obviously your decision, but being as I am similar to her in symptoms and diagnoses, I can 't help but feel you just told me I should have had my infant taken away due to my disability.



I just think this grandma's diagnoses should get some research before just writing her off as dangerous or useless as a competent caregiver.



" Confessions of a TBI Survivor"
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 15, 2013 at 9:58 PM
There's more information about it on kellymom.
I've brought that up to DH and he said we'll figure it out when the time comes.

Quoting psych_mom:

I have to say, I never knew there was a special way to bottle feed breast fed babies and I had three that were breast fed- never did anything special or different when feeding them, so the fact that there is something special that you must do, other than putting the breast milk in a bottle, is a new one for me.

Now, as for your MIL, she is only going to be watching him for two or three months, correct? What are you going to do after she leaves?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 15, 2013 at 9:58 PM
I don't know why I didn't think of this.

Quoting Caera:

Just don't go back to work until they're gone. Say you're looking, but no one's hired you.

psych_mom
by on Dec. 15, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, I am not going to go do a bunch of research on something if you don't want to take the time out to just condence it. No need to waste my time.

Quoting Anonymous: There's more information about it on kellymom.
I've brought that up to DH and he said we'll figure it out when the time comes.

Quoting psych_mom:

I have to say, I never knew there was a special way to bottle feed breast fed babies and I had three that were breast fed- never did anything special or different when feeding them, so the fact that there is something special that you must do, other than putting the breast milk in a bottle, is a new one for me.

Now, as for your MIL, she is only going to be watching him for two or three months, correct? What are you going to do after she leaves?


Pukalani79
by Member on Dec. 15, 2013 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 This is a good suggestion

Quoting Anonymous:

maybe you can do hair and makeup and stuff like that out of your home ..

 

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