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F*** you God

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 9:45 PM
  • 78 Replies
1 mom liked this
My beautiful, sweet, perfect angel baby. My loving, smart, perfect little innocent two year-old son was diagnosed with Leukemia today.

I am numb. I can't believe this is happening. I feel like this is a dream, or happening to someone else. This precious baby is going to spend Christmas in a hospital getting chemo.

Already people are saying to us, we will pray for you... God this, God that... Well you know what?!? I already have a hard time having faith in anything as it is. I have been dealt more than my fair share of shit... My own childhood destroyed, being homeless, struggling. Through it all I stayed a good person, worked hard... I earned everything I have. I finally have all the things I have ever wanted, a good husband, a beautiful home, a great job that I love, and the most precious son anyone can ever ask for... And now this?!? I thought I paid my dues to the cosmos and finally deserved to be happy... Instead I get to spend the next three to four years watching my baby fight for his life... And despite all the medical advances, he may die...

If there is a God, he can suck a big fat dick and kiss my ass... I never did anything to deserve this and my baby for sure didn't...

I don't know how I am going to do this. Be strong for him. I have to work as its my insurance paying for all of this... How am I going to do this... I just want to wake up from this nightmare...
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 9:45 PM
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by Bronze Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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Oh my gosh :( My heart breaks for you and your little boy. I don't pray so I won't give a bs line that I will, but my thoughts are definitely with you and your baby boy.

by Anonymous 1 on Dec. 17, 2013 at 9:49 PM
3 moms liked this
I'm sorry that you are going through this. **hugs**
You need to remain strong for your child. Being bitter certainly won't get you far, though I can't imagine what you're going through. :(
by Bronze Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 9:51 PM
I am so sorry!
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 17, 2013 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry :( sure you need to stay strong for him but only in front of him. Here let it all out. You need support to stay strong.
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 11:34 PM

I can't believe I am sitting on my computer at 11:30 at night, looking up different kinds of Leukemia, and the treatment, and the side affects from treatment. 

How am I to explain to a toddler why we are giving him things that make him feel sick? How can I explain to him why he can't go home? 

After all the times I have read sad stories about kids with cancer, or seen little ones with their bald heads in the hospital, or at the doctor's office and thought, "I can't imagine" that now... its my family. It's my precious little boy... 

I'm terrified. I wonder if it was something I did... bad genes, getting an ultrasound... that caused this to happen. I worry that it will be some rare form of Leukemia with a low survival rate. How in God's name am I to go to work, and do my job well, go on and live my life normally when all I can hear is my husband's voice saying, G has Leukemia. 

I just want to scream... beat my fists against a wall until they are bloody... I feel like I am going to lose my mind. 

by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:04 AM


by Anonymous 3 on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:26 AM
1 mom liked this

Im so sorry for your son and you. Take it one day at a time because thats what your gonna have to do. Be strong and stay posotive for that baby even though its killing you. I hear that your pissed with all of this piling up on you at once. I suggest you start praying hard for god to give you strength to be strong for your baby. If you don't have a support system than this is a good way  to start sweety. :(. I havent had to go through this but i have lost a baby. You haven't lost yours so be strong and posotive for him. Im not trying to push my religion down your throat. Its your choice on how you choose to handle things. With or with out god...its either be a bitter nasty bitch about it or hold your head up and keep it up and you help your baby fight this shit. 

by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 12:59 AM
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this, you and your husband will not be alone with this and your little boy, I can only imagine how angry you are and I'd want to know everything there is to know about every type out there. There are other parents and support out there, find them and do whatever you can to help youselves stay strong.
by on Dec. 18, 2013 at 2:41 AM
((((Hugs)))) im so sorry
by Maylene on Dec. 18, 2013 at 4:36 AM
Stay positive lol. Its not about you this time. Its about giving your son all of your energy and love. Yes nothing wrong trying to beat yourself over this. Just unreal and unbelievable how life can be so cruel.

Wishing you much love and respect.
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