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I'm a woman, I am sensitive

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:21 AM
  • 8 Replies

My SO thinks that I overreact with certain things because of my "feelings". I believe that at least most women are sensitive by nature. He doesn't. He does say hurtful things to me at times, most are only as a joke (sometimes it is funny, but most times it isn't) and then gets upset with me because I get upset. No I am not one of those women that cries at the drop of a hat, so I'm not bawling my eyes out very time he does it. It does hurt though and I let him know, not by yelling but just by telling him what he said was mean. I figure if I let him know, he won't do it again, but that doesn't work.  It's not a constant thing, but I think he is insensitive to my sensitivities. I don't think I am too sensitive and it's not something I can control, although I can control how I react to what he says. I usually just get pretty quiet, or what he calls "pouty". One thing he has made me VERY self conscious about is my weight, but only because I know he prefers extremely skinny women, like skin and bones thin. I am 5' 6" and 130 lbs. so I'm not overweight, but when he found out my weight and said under his breath "Jesus Christ", I felt hurt. I've been around this weight since we met. Yes, he had told me over and over again he loves me no matter what I weigh, and has even called me his "calendar girl" several times when I got out of the shower, but that doesn't make his negative comments easier to handle.

So, do you think most women are sensitive by nature? Many may be able to hide their feelings better than others. I used to, but don't hide it any more. I've become more outspoken as I've gotten older, but in this relationship it only makes things worse, even when I'm being calm. 

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 8:21 AM
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Replies (1-8):
teaandcookies
by Katherine on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:56 AM

I'm sorry hun, but your not being sensitive, hes being an ass.  My ex used to pull shit about my wight 5'4 and 119, and he used to love to ell me how i used to have a big little bum.  So one day I told him how no matter what I loved him but I really wished that his penis was bigger.  Days I went on about it say it was such a shame ect.Worked great, but as i said he is my ex.  It really sounds like something else are going on

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:13 AM
I guess you can in sensitive too. I'm hoping it has a lot to do with different hormones from men, But there are a lot in sensitive women too. Not really sure what to tell you it seems as if we are in the same boat. Hopefully there is a medium
nurse1997
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:25 AM

Maybe u are sensitive who cares ???? If your man is a douhe than that is another problem !

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this

You are a perfect weight, and he needs to quit insulting you! Have you been to couples counseling?

Lynette
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:50 PM
I let my husband know when he's hurt my feelings and he sincerely apologizes. I'm sorry your husband is being a butt. You are allowed to feel.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:10 PM

I think it doesn't have anything to do with whether women are sensitive or not. It has everything to do with a man who thinks it's OK to say mean things to a woman. As far as sensitivity goes, if he is the one who is supposed to be your mate, he is supposed to be sensitive to your feelings, and be a support, someone who build you up, not who calls you mean things and then makes you feel bad about feeling bad about what he said. If he was a kind man he would stop doing it and apologize when you've told him he's hurt your feelings. He's disrespectful and mean, borderline abusive, and definitely not someone you need to be putting up with. Someone who is supposed to love you should be a positive force in your life, not someone who knows what hurts you and continues to do it. You can do much better than him, I'm sure.

wondra
by Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 6:21 AM

He absolutely refuses to go to counseling with me. Like I said, it's not a constant thing, just sometimes he can say mean things. The thing is, he doesn't even realize he is doing it, which is not good. For the most part he really is a wonderful partner and treats me well, believe it or not. Thank you for your replies! 

3JuJu3
by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 9:58 AM
2 moms liked this

I think all people are sensitive by nature (unless they have some kind of mental disorder), by many men are conditioned not to show it.  Sometimes this results in anger management issues because their bottled up feelings are released as anger.  The problem is not your sensitivity or how you respond to it, but the fact that he still behaves this way after you've told him how it makes you feel. 

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