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Younger parents are invalid.

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:18 PM
  • 8 Replies

I am so sick of people thinking that because I am a young mom, not teen mom(not judging on that either) I couldn't possibly know what I am doing.  I was 20 when I had my first child. I can say yes it was all new to me, but it didn't mean I wasn't capable of making decisions for my own child in regards her safety & health. 

 I had my second child at 25. While I still never claim to have all the answers on perfect parenting, I am pretty sure I am doing an awesome job with my kids. 

 I even go about giving advice in the right way. I always say "You need to do what you feel is right for your child and your family, but this is what I found that works/worked for us."  I usually don't even offer advice unless asked or I can see someone struggling. 

 I just want to know why my experience in parenting isn't good enough to offer my advice when necessary just because I am only 26?  

 I have 2 kids and my 6 year old has great manners, she is in the top of her class and wait she is healthy and alive. I must be doing something right. Just like all kids she has her "mom is going to pull her hair out moments", but she is a good kid. My 15 month old is such a happy and smart little boy as well. So someone please tell me why my age automatically disqualifies the advice I have to offer?

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:18 PM
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Replies (1-8):
gangof6
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:25 PM

Why do you feel that way? 

krystalmaye2429
by Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:33 PM

A lot of my family seem to feel this way.  For example, my family is catholic and I don't practice it and don't want anything to do with it. I didn't want to get my daughter baptized because I didn't want to force her into a religion, I wanted her to make the decision when she was older and could understand.  My aunt and my Gram went behind my back to try and get her baptized. Just some of the things a lot of people(mostly family) say around me and how the convey their feelings is just a somewhat nicer attempt at saying, "you are too young to know what you are doing" and I am tired of it. Exactly why I stoppped attending family functions and no longer speak to most of them. 

Quoting gangof6:

Why do you feel that way? 


MamaCatShively
by Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:40 PM

It sounds like the issue is that you aren't doing things THEIR way so they assume your doing it wrong.  I applaud you for giving your kids choices on how they want to persue religion.  My husband and I are doing the same with our girls.  I say as long as your kids are healthy, happy and smart not to worry about what the family thinks and keep doing what your doing.  It's not age that disqualifies you from giving advice in my opinion - it's simply how it's given.  if you offer suggestions great.  I get upset when - like your family seems to be doing - I'm told that I'm doing it wrong.

Best of luck!

krystalmaye2429
by Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you! At times it is a "you're not doing it MY way" thing and a lot of others it is "you don't have enough life experience(age)" thing.  My aunt had her first and only child at 40 and feels she is the expert on parenting. If you really think about it I have more experience in the toddler stage lol. I could always remember her overstepping her boundaries when I was younger too, before she ever had a child.  She would pull me aside and try and give the most ridiculous advice, when my own mother and I already had a better discussion on the topics at hand.  

 In the long run I don't have to share my precious babies with as many people and they don't get the pleasure of knowing my kids or me anymore. :)   

When it comes to religion, she still gets exposed to it here and there. My mom takes her to church with her every so often and I am fine with it. It gives her a chance to at least see what it is about and make an even more educated decision on whether it is for her or not. 

Quoting MamaCatShively:

It sounds like the issue is that you aren't doing things THEIR way so they assume your doing it wrong.  I applaud you for giving your kids choices on how they want to persue religion.  My husband and I are doing the same with our girls.  I say as long as your kids are healthy, happy and smart not to worry about what the family thinks and keep doing what your doing.  It's not age that disqualifies you from giving advice in my opinion - it's simply how it's given.  if you offer suggestions great.  I get upset when - like your family seems to be doing - I'm told that I'm doing it wrong.

Best of luck!


cocoroo
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:53 PM

I had my first at 17, second at 20, 3rd at 23 and 4th at 25.  People used to assume I wasn't a good parent because of my age.  Age does not make someone a good parent.  I just don't care what people say anymore.  My children are now 19, almost 16, almost 13 and 1.  Have I made mistakes with them?  Yes, but every parent makes mistakes regardless of their age.  We just need to keep doing what we are doing and what we feel is best for our children.

organicMom2
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:14 PM
Parenting is the one job we don't have required prerequisites for. We all mistakes and will continue to make mistakes as well as learn from them; that is life - learning from mistakes. We all have that moments of being frustrated and its normal. I myself find it annoying when people don't take my advice either..or take me seriously as a parent. Your not the only one..so keep up the good work!
JTE11
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:22 PM

My parents were 17 and 21 when I was born, and they used to get that a lot from people as well. The perception was that your judgment must be faulty if you got pregnant so young, so why would your advice be worth anything? Seriously, my mum's grandmother was like that until my mum got into her 30s. Because she didn't have the good sense not to get pregnant as a teen (even though she married my dad and is STILL married to him ), her opinion really isn't worth anything. Not saying I agree with that, because my parents do have very good sense and are very decent people, it's just what I've seen. It's a "You don't know what you're talking about because you've already made bad decisions." thing.

MSJAP2010
by Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this
We are going to let our son decide his religion when he's older
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