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Stay at home mom, I feel like I'm suffocating !!!

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:23 PM
  • 11 Replies

Ok so let me start by saying that I love all of my children dearly and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. They are really wonderful children I couldn't ask for more as a parent! As the headline says I'm a stay at home mom. Sounds fun right? Wrong. I do not have a life anymore and it is driving me completely insane! I have some days where I wonder why any woman would enjoy staying home!? I have a six year old, four year old, two year old, and one due any moment now. My husband and I have kind of stopped talking as much, we are still very much in love. We don't go many places. I honestly a mag my wits end, I feel like everything is pointless and I need to know I'm not alone. There's so much more I could say but I figured I would keep it shortish. If you have advice or feel like me please reply I need it! 

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:52 PM
1 mom liked this

You've got your hands full mama! Make SURE you get a date night once a week, it's vital, don't neglect your marriage. My sis had 4 kids, I had 3, we both are in our 50's now and the kids are mostly moved out and very happy and successful, but we miss them a LOT. If I could have one day with my kids as little ones again I'd be so excited! Everyone says the time goes so fast, and it really does. But I totally do remember feeling overwhelmed and working practically non-stop, hugs!

JTE11
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I am a SAHM too, and I only have one almost three year old DD and taking care of her, the house and the pets fills my days. DH and I don't have anyone who can watch DD for us regularly for us to go out and DD has always had issues that meant we couldn't take her places, even as an infant so I understand feeling like you're disconnected from the rest of the world. When I start to feel like the days are endless, and my time at home feels like a black hole I just remind myself that it's all temporary. I won't always be this SAHM, and right now my DD needs me to be doing what I'm doing more than I need a huge life outside the home. It's just a phase of life. It's difficult but not forever.  And even if it's once every three months I go out with my friend to get lunch or dinner and talk for a few hours. DH will watch DD and I will go. DH and I will go a couple of times per year and see a movie or go to dinner with out DD and my mum will watch her and if that's all we get that's all we get, but it's not going to be like this forever. This isn't life, it's just life right now. Try to get a few breaths in here and there, but they will be older before you know it and this will all change. Try to hang in there, that's what I'm doing. ;)

IdahoJen
by New Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:45 PM

I know it sounds impossible but just getting a few hours to yourself every couple weeks would help you recharge and take a breath or go to the bathroom alone. It would really make a difference. So If you have a grandparent that would do that for you or even your husband, make the time for your own sanity. You deserve it and your kids do too cuz you will have more patience when you can breathe more.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 9, 2014 at 1:35 AM

I have started to feel more and more inspired to go back to work.


I somehow feel pulled in the direction that if I will balance my life, I must have a feel of providing not only for my child, but also myself.

Probably, most importanly myself ~ if one were then to get into "Air Mask" theory.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 9, 2014 at 2:15 AM

i can relate and i only have one! lol so iv decided to go back to work... do what feels right for your family, and good luck

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 9, 2014 at 2:18 AM
Not trying to seem rude at all but why have so many kids if you feel overwhelmed? You have them close in age too. Are you planning on more after this? With so many small children it's very difficult to have the time or resources to do leisurely things.
Ultra_
by Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 2:23 AM
Just get out more. Is that not possible? The six year old is in school no? Take the younger two to target and grab lunch and let them play in the playground. Don't you get out at least to go to the store? The mall can be fun. Matinee movies that are cheaper? Museums. I don't where you live or what there is to do, but I'm a sahm and so are lots of moms I met in a playgroup and they are always out doing things. Search on fb for a playgroup page in your area you can join. Or ask anyone you know about groups
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 9, 2014 at 2:23 AM
1 mom liked this
I am a SAHM with a 3 year old DD too. I don't have anyone that can watch her either but for birthdays or once in a blue moon my mom will come over to watch DD while me and DH go for a quick date like a movie or dinner (never both lol). DH has a busy career and works crazy hours sometimes and on those long days I feel like it's never ending. I'm like, ok we played 20 games, she watched a few tv shows now what else am I supposed to do with her? Lol it's freezing where I live so I can't take her out. I also remind myself that this was for the best because we wanted our DD to be raised our way and my old job was mandatory 10-6 which means I wouldn't get home until almost 8pm.DH gets home around 8:30pm. No way were we gonna leave her with a babysitter that late. Daycares don't even keep kids that late. So this situation is all for the best. Plus she's getting big so quickly I'm cherishing these days because I know it won't last.

Quoting JTE11:

I am a SAHM too, and I only have one almost three year old DD and taking care of her, the house and the pets fills my days. DH and I don't have anyone who can watch DD for us regularly for us to go out and DD has always had issues that meant we couldn't take her places, even as an infant so I understand feeling like you're disconnected from the rest of the world. When I start to feel like the days are endless, and my time at home feels like a black hole I just remind myself that it's all temporary. I won't always be this SAHM, and right now my DD needs me to be doing what I'm doing more than I need a huge life outside the home. It's just a phase of life. It's difficult but not forever.  And even if it's once every three months I go out with my friend to get lunch or dinner and talk for a few hours. DH will watch DD and I will go. DH and I will go a couple of times per year and see a movie or go to dinner with out DD and my mum will watch her and if that's all we get that's all we get, but it's not going to be like this forever. This isn't life, it's just life right now. Try to get a few breaths in here and there, but they will be older before you know it and this will all change. Try to hang in there, that's what I'm doing. ;)

MSJAP2010
by Member on Jan. 9, 2014 at 11:57 AM
Go to a park, mall, museum..look for free or cheap things to do with kids. Just take a walk around the block
Pukalani79
by Ivy on Jan. 9, 2014 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this

 When I started staying at home, I felt the same way. It's been 8 1/2 years now and I wouldn't have it any other way. One thing that has helped me tremendously is making sure I have "me" time.  I have a scheduled time at least once a week (sometimes more) where I do something totally for me.  Usually I spend that time working on a hobby or maybe I'll just go and be by myself or meet up with friends.  But I get that time to decompress and to focus on me.  We also try and do a regular date night. Doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, but we go out and spend time just with us.  It's made such a difference

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