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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

I'm secretly bitter toward the military and need to vent about it...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 102 Replies
1 mom liked this

I've always loved the military, completely supported it and those who give and have given their lives for this mess of a country. I've been "married" to the military for 20 years now and for the longest time, it was great. My husband got promotion after promotion, worked hard working his way up. He served multiple deployments and received multiple awards. I loved the health care, which we needed for our multiple medical issues in the family. We had a good life. We lived on bases for years and loved it. Then we decided the time had come to buy our own home as we were stationed in our home town anyway and knew we wanted to stay here. We bought our dream home. I loved every inch of it. We had three great dogs, two good cars, a boat, our kids were happy, and we didn't go without. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would end like this.

My husband had served 17 of active duty at that time, most of those years as active duty in the National Guard. It's not only reservists like many people think. One day, a few years ago, my husband came home and said something that would change our lives forever. The National Guard had just told him that because he was close to retirement eligibility (despite not wanting to retire for many years), and because of the state budget cuts, he had to be let go. No more active duty at all. Not allowed to do any active duty, ever again, unless he gets deployed, that is. BUT, he has been volunteering for multiple deployments and being denied by them too. Anyway, within weeks we went from making plenty to making nothing. No health care, no money, no...anything. And because I had been a stay at home mom for so many years, I had no income either.

The next month, our daughter came down with meningitis. Two months later, same daughter got into a car accident...with my car. She was found not at fault, but still a financial burden for us when we had no income. Then in the following months we had a break in, our identity stolen by some freak scam person in Africa and our bank account wiped out. BofA said, "We can't prove you didn't do it..." YES I can prove I wasn't in Africa!!! Anyway, they never gave us anything back and then said they could not help us with our house payments either. For some reason or other we kept getting the run around and couldn't qualify for any kind of assistance from them. We asked the military for help (hubby still in the Guard as a reservist) and no, because he wasn't injured in battle or active duty or officially retired, they say we were not eligible for any assitance.

By the time my husband found another job in this terrible economy, there was absolutely no way of catching up on the house or on anything else. We lost it all. Luckily we only had two payments left on his truck when he got laid off initially so that was paid off. My minivan though is gone and some lovely people bought our home. We found good homes for our dogs and the kids' caged pets. We sold everything in our house. I had an "estate" sale and just told everyone to make me an offer. It worked. The rest went to thrift stores and to those needier than us.

This has been going on in several states. I have heard of other military families going through the same thing. It's horrendous and I want the word to get out. I'm not saying that it's ok for civilian companies to lay off people who have been there a long time. It's not ok. But for a country that says it loves and respects its military so much, why are they laying off long time soldiers just so they don't have to pay them retirement? Our lives have been ruined!

Fast forward to now. We're still homeless. My husband has a job but only makes a quarter of what he made before. It is not enough to get us a place to live. We have food and we have each other. After all, that is what really matters in the end, right? We still have our marriage and it's stronger than ever. We still have our kids and they are still happy. It's really brought us closer together as a family. Lol We have no choice but to be close. But the hardest part is keeping that smile on my face and staying strong for the family. No, I don't see any end in sight because we do not qualify for any help from anywhere but God Himself. So it will have to be Him that I trust to help us. But I am human. Some days I struggle with the "why me?" I struggle with wanting someone to give us a break. But now, even if we had the money, our credit has taken such a hit that no one will rent to us. And I do mean no one, we tried. I want to ask where all the nice people are that help others around the world? Where are those people who have plenty and have so much in the bank and say they help others? Why is it that we cannot seem to meet any of these people?

So, yes, I've come to hate what the military has done to us and I hate the military as an organization. But, I will never hate the soldiers and their wives and what they go through for this country.

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 27, 2014 at 1:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
godsgirl26
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 1:57 AM
1 mom liked this
Ooh my!
Big hugs to you. So sorry you have gone thr this. I can't believe the military done this to you & your family
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 27, 2014 at 2:01 AM

They just let him go because he was close to retirement? It wasn't due to anything else?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 27, 2014 at 2:09 AM

 Yes, it was only because he was close to retirement eligibility. He had an impeccable service record and it's been verified. He's not the only one it's happening to.

Quoting Anonymous:

They just let him go because he was close to retirement? It wasn't due to anything else?

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 27, 2014 at 2:11 AM

All this talk of the 15 year retirement, I would think or hope they would offer him that. My head would pop off it that happened. Omg...

Quoting Anonymous:

 Yes, it was only because he was close to retirement eligibility. He had an impeccable service record and it's been verified. He's not the only one it's happening to.

Quoting Anonymous:

They just let him go because he was close to retirement? It wasn't due to anything else?

 

 

cjsix
by Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 2:20 AM

I'm sorry this has happened to you and is happening to others.It's not right. I understand how hard it is right now and we have gone through our own difficult times. It does get better and what we went through helped to strengthen our faith. Hugs Momma!

cocoroo
by Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 2:23 AM

I'm sorry you are going through this.  People are getting let go left and right in the military.  Most of them are shitbags and deserve to go, but many are good soldiers/sailors/airmen/Marines.  I have heard of people not being able to re-enlist, people getting the boot, some getting early retirement.  My dh has been in the Army (traditional big Army) for 13 years.  It is definitely not the stable, safe job it used to be.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 27, 2014 at 2:35 AM

This is a cycle. They've got too many in boots right now- especially since 9/11. They went through these drawdowns in the 90's and were offering early 15 year retirements left and right. After 9/11 they had to fill those boots again so new policies were more lenient on potential recruits- all sorts could get in all of the sudden. Also, people make rank faster during wars....Now they're overstength and over budget. Go figure. It goes round and round.

17 years and let go? Damn. I'd be pissed too.

thefiregoddess
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 7:26 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm very sorry you went through this but I'm surprised you weren't prepared. This is on the news often enough, it's well known.

I live at an army base and we all know it's coming (or has)

Df got the same shifty treatment from the marine corps because he got hurt from their negligence and never quite recovered.

It took me a year, five complaints and forty phone calls to our local congress person but he now gets va medical and is eligible for disability. (We are waiting on that)

Try that. That's all I can say.

I'm so, so sorry.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 27, 2014 at 7:32 AM
3 moms liked this
One of the reasons this happened to you is because the president of this country HATES the military.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jan. 27, 2014 at 10:39 AM

 I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and other military families. I wish you Blessings and the best of luck.hugs

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