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your child is not gifted

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 43 Replies
If they are struggling in every subject and have no desire to learn about anything they are not gifted. Stop trying to say how academically gifted they are when they are barely passing school and just want to play video games in their free time. Gifted kids love to learn!
Mine is very gifted (tested and confirmed not just me saying so) but I prefer not to say anything about it (hence the anon post). In the past week I've had a mom telling me about how her 2 year old is so gifted because she's starting to form sentences, another tell me her 10 year old is the smartest, most gifted child ever because she builds cardboard doll houses (with patterns from the internet she just follows them and they're nothing spectacular). In the next breath she's telling me how it's a battle to get her to do her homework because she struggles so much. Yet another told me her son (who was just held back) is gifted because she read an article about how gifted kids don't need much sleep and he has never been a good sleeper.
I don't have a problem with others having gifted kids. I know there are many kids out there more gifted than mine and he isn't better than anyone else. I just smile and nod. But it sure would make it easier to find someone who can relate to the unique challenges of raising a very gifted child if every parent wasn't claiming their child is gifted!
I just want a friend who can understand.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2014 at 2:19 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 19, 2014 at 2:27 AM
And for the record I know not all gifted kids excel in school. But if your child doesn't have a strong interest and greater than average ability in any area they aren't gifted. Not just academics but in something!
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:09 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree.   I do have a gifted child, she is 13 and in the end of summer, instead of going to high school like her peers, she will be going straight to college. She cannot get enough of learning and she has (thank God!) had the opportunity to have been tested early enough (in third grade).  So that they could accomodate her needs for learning.. I know of other parents nightmares when their kid caused so much trouble at school because they were geniuses and were being teach something they werent interested of.    My daughter talked almost clearly in small sentences by the time she was 14 months, (however she never learned to crawl) could make math problems when she was 2. She could read at 3.  No programs, or cards or all that bs. I just read a lot to her, and one day I caught her reading, what I thought was a memorized book, but then she started reading from my husband magazine.   She was reading level 4 books when she started first grade. But hse was never a problem since she has been really obedient since very little.  She could carry a conversation with an adult by the time she was 5.     However, she was my first, so to me, milestones were great, just not special.   Then my second daughter was born...  she in an average learning child... but I honestly thought there was something wrong with her.   Well, you learn... I have a third daughter who is very advanced, but I think it is because she has grown up with my oldest two, so she has no choice.

Sometimes I wish they were all average.  So that people wont compare my second to my first and ask her this "when are you reaching your sister" bullshit.  I try really hard to keep my first daughter humble, and constantly reminding her that she is as special as any other child is.  And when people call her a genius, I always tell them she isnt a genius, she just learns differently.  We wont be telling anyone in the family that she is skipping highschool. It is highschool just in a different basis... all this to protect my other two daughters from being scrutanized as "slow"  just because they learn differently.  

However, like you, I always smile politely when people tell me how gifted their kid is, because they can say "momma" at 8 months.  Mine said "dad, water, more, puppy, please, almost and thank you" at 5.  really weird if you ask me. One mom once in the grocery store heard my 7 month old daughter said "Mommy more water please" and she told me "Aww how cute, your daughter is a dwarf! I totally thought she was a baby"  wtf!   I said "She is.  She is 7 months, she is just very vocal, and she is average sized"  then she proceeded to ask me.... "are you sure?  that's creepy"   Gee, thanks! Sometimes having a gifted child isnt pleasant.
 

lizlaughlove
by New Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:58 AM
3 moms liked this

 Einstein failed math.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:12 AM
Did you not read where I said I know some gifted kids don't excel in school? Einstein also had above average knowledge and a desire to learn he was just bored in school.

Quoting lizlaughlove:

 Einstein failed math.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:22 AM
Sounds like our gifted kids are a lot a like. He's 6 and they estimate he'll be done with high school at 12. He's a twice exceptional child so he's a huge challenge. This past weekend he begged me to go to a science museum because he found they had an electron microscope. Last summer on vacation he walked up to a park ranger and asked if the roads there were made of basalt. I didn't teach him this stuff he just finds it in books and online! We've talked about being safe online and he'll search for what he wants to know then ask me before he goes to a website. Virtual field trips and science museum websites are his favorite!
My second might fall into the smartcategory but I don't think she's gifted. I'm good with that. I don't think I could handle two of them! She has the desire to learn but she's just not quite where he was.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree.   I do have a gifted child, she is 13 and in the end of summer, instead of going to high school like her peers, she will be going straight to college. She cannot get enough of learning and she has (thank God!) had the opportunity to have been tested early enough (in third grade).  So that they could accomodate her needs for learning.. I know of other parents nightmares when their kid caused so much trouble at school because they were geniuses and were being teach something they werent interested of.    My daughter talked almost clearly in small sentences by the time she was 14 months, (however she never learned to crawl) could make math problems when she was 2. She could read at 3.  No programs, or cards or all that bs. I just read a lot to her, and one day I caught her reading, what I thought was a memorized book, but then she started reading from my husband magazine.   She was reading level 4 books when she started first grade. But hse was never a problem since she has been really obedient since very little.  She could carry a conversation with an adult by the time she was 5.     However, she was my first, so to me, milestones were great, just not special.   Then my second daughter was born...  she in an average learning child... but I honestly thought there was something wrong with her.   Well, you learn... I have a third daughter who is very advanced, but I think it is because she has grown up with my oldest two, so she has no choice.

Sometimes I wish they were all average.  So that people wont compare my second to my first and ask her this "when are you reaching your sister" bullshit.  I try really hard to keep my first daughter humble, and constantly reminding her that she is as special as any other child is.  And when people call her a genius, I always tell them she isnt a genius, she just learns differently.  We wont be telling anyone in the family that she is skipping highschool. It is highschool just in a different basis... all this to protect my other two daughters from being scrutanized as "slow"  just because they learn differently.  

However, like you, I always smile politely when people tell me how gifted their kid is, because they can say "momma" at 8 months.  Mine said "dad, water, more, puppy, please, almost and thank you" at 5.  really weird if you ask me. One mom once in the grocery store heard my 7 month old daughter said "Mommy more water please" and she told me "Aww how cute, your daughter is a dwarf! I totally thought she was a baby"  wtf!   I said "She is.  She is 7 months, she is just very vocal, and she is average sized"  then she proceeded to ask me.... "are you sure?  that's creepy"   Gee, thanks! Sometimes having a gifted child isnt pleasant.
 

debramommyof4
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:28 AM
My kids are homeschooled and while I believe they are only advanced I look at the gifted boards because I have some of the same issues. I have thought about putting them in public school just to have them tested but it would not change how I teach them. So I do not bother.

I am like the other poster who did not know about average milestones and no one said anything, so when my 3rd child, a boy, came along and did not talk by 13 months (in at least 2 word sentences). He did not say more than a handful of words till the week before his 2 year check up. Where my older 2 (girls) where talking in 2 to 3 word sentences before 1.

They have always been a few moths or a little more ahead of milestones (after I realized I needed to start looking). But I can only tell strangers what they can do or I am bragging.

So while my kids probably are not gifted I feel you. It is hard to find people to just talk to.
Honey_Comb
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:31 AM
1 mom liked this
So a parent can't be proud of their child? Wow.
owlfeather919
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:38 AM
I take things with a grain of salt. Every parent loves to brag about something when it comes to their children. ( including myself ) I suppose the reality is all children are gifted. Each have a special gift. I am not going to lie and say my children are wizards at school, in every subject because that is not the case. So I hear you, and your frustration though.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:38 AM

I'm with you.  It can get very lonely.  But luckly my kids have a very good support system, one who is down-to-earth and keeps things real.

Rosehawk
by Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 11:45 AM

My son, now 10, tested off the charts for our gifted program two years ago. We got all kinds of things in the mail from Mensa and other snobbish, smart groups.

Some days, I wish here WEREN'T so smart. He is constantly trying to talk like, and be like, an adult, and is failing miserably at it because he doesn't understand just how stupid he sounds. Example: He was doing his homework last night and getting a little confused about adding/subtracting negative numbers. Instead of asking for help because it was confusing/hard, he made the comment: "This homework is frying my brain" in the tone he uses when he's trying to use big words to impress someone.

He's VERY book smart, but just as common sense/street dumb. He also has been diagnosed with high functioning autism spectrum disorder (formerly Asperger's) and ADHD. Talk about challenging.

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