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Would you be upset? I am so tired of this s*** from hiim!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post



Question: Does your husband support you or criticize you for being a SAHM?




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Would you be mad? 

My husband has been working 12 hour days the past 10 days. It's the hardest he's ever worked in his life. When I worked, before being forced to become a SAHM, I made decent money and ALWAYS did OT at the office.My average day was 10-12 hours. I never had his support, but I support the hell out of him. I am a SAHM and I do my SAHM duties, but they've been kicked into overdrive just trying to make sure all he has to do when he gets home is relax, eat the food I made, go to bed, then I get him up the next worning for work. I write supportive notes in his lunch, send him encouraging texts during the day, listen to him complain or talk about work when he's off and I've put my feelings or frustrations aside (which is typical). There's a whole long list of stuff that's piled up before all this where he hasn't supported me on anything I do, I can't even take an art class or something to get out of the house for an hour a week without the kids because he doesn't want to spend the money. I'm trying to show him how I want to be treated by treating him well, but he isn't getting it. 

A fight erupted last night because I had a very rough day with the kids yesterday. I love them, but it's not all sunshine and roses. I asked if we could order delivery because I was really tired and didn't want to cook. He threw a bitch fit about how I don't have a right to be tired because it's like I'm on vacation while he works all day. I couldn't take it anymore so I broke down into tears and told him it kills me when he invalidates my feelings by rolling his eyes and telling me I don't do anything. His response? I send him texts during the day - those short ones telling him "hang in there" and "Have a good day I love you you can do it!" - that means I have time to myself and I'm loafing so he doesn't trust me that I do much during the day. 

I so freaking tired of this shit. I'm glad I have an opportunity to raise my kids, but it's hard because I DO miss working, I was GREAT at working, it was a passion of mine. I am doing my best to make my world revolve around my kids, and I do love them so much, but when I already feel like I've given up all parts of me to take care of 3 people as a wife and a mother, and then I have my husband telling me that he is the only one that matters in this relationship and raising kids isn't hard etc... I'm tired of not being appreciated. 

I have really been considering walking. He keeps saying he's come a long way, I've had to deal with him being so lazy while I paid for everything but I never treated it like that at all, it was our money, not my money, I did it for the family without demeaning him and he did 10x less around the house and with the kids than I did. I hooked him up with great connections for the job that he is now in. He started making a lot more money than I did, we had our second, he wanted me home. But now it's HIS money so he can do as he pleases, and I don't do anything. 

Would you be mad? Have you ever gotten your s/o to see your side or be thankful for what you do, or did you have to leave? 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:11 AM
Replies (61-62):
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 5:25 PM
Yes, this is marriage. Well said

Quoting beckolette:

Oh this is so mine too. I would get up at 4:30, dress kids, get school stuff ready, pack lunches, carry little one to the car, that I started and packed. He continued to snore away until 7.  He got home at 4, had time to himself, since I and the kids didn't get home until 6. Then I made dinner etc. Went to bed after him, and started the next day the same way. 

Finally after the 3rd child at age 41, I had to stop, slow down something had to give. I quit my job during the pregnancy, figured I would go back once baby was older and done nursing. I seen that he just didn't do jack other than work and believe me, I doesn't work that hard. It is not a mental stress job. He was a plumber in new constrution. He worked at a med pace and made sure things were correct and no leaks, so he didn't have to go back and tear things up for a repair. I've worked along side him, when we had our first child. I chased the boy and was a go-for for husband.   I drove a school bus in the Chicago suburbs. I loved the job, Loved the kids, But I had an accident and my back suffered. 

This man will piss and moan if I ask him to move a chair or couch so i can clean under it on the weekends. You said you moved recently and have a few boxes left. We moved 2 yrs ago. We have a big 2 car garage with a 30 x 16 shop area that is still full of his stuff. I worked this fall to try and get my car in out of the winter weather. There is now room for both his truck and my car, IF he helps me get his 10 large tool boxes moved into the shop area.  Oh and all the cleaning, putting things in cabinets and drawers out there,  I asked him to make me a shelf in our TV cabinet. The saw, table he used to hold it and other various tools are still strewn around a 12' square area. That was early Dec I asked for the shelf.   

30 yrs of this. Am I going to change him? NO. Do I bitch? Yes, Does it get me somewhere? YES, sometimes. Even his family will give him hell for not doing things and getting the garage done.  That makes me at least feel that someone else sees it. 

by New Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 9:18 AM
I seen my mother go thru the same thing when I was growing up. I am going to tell you your children will be affected! One of my brothers have that same attitude, but my SIL ignores his attitude. She do or don't do when he wants his butt up on his shoulders. Be good to yourself & your can't do that being upset!
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