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Am I being unreasonable towards my boyfriend?

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:37 PM
  • 148 Replies
I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:37 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't like that kind of stuff either.. Not one on one. I explained that to my SO, he didn't like it at first but I explained that if he wanted to he needed to find a girlfriend who was willing to deal with it then. Ultimately he stayed with me and respected my wishes.
leanntx
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:42 PM
You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
Secretly101
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:03 PM
That's how I am kind of feeling. I mean he doesn't have a history of cheating but I don't feel comfortable with it because of past issues I have had with other boyfriends which I hate to project on him but it bothers me.

Quoting Anonymous: I don't like that kind of stuff either.. Not one on one. I explained that to my SO, he didn't like it at first but I explained that if he wanted to he needed to find a girlfriend who was willing to deal with it then. Ultimately he stayed with me and respected my wishes.
Secretly101
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:05 PM
So it wouldn't bother you if your boyfriend came home and said he met a couple of girls from work and wanted to hang out with them. Without you being there. These aren't old friends these are new friends.

Quoting leanntx: You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
leanntx
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:13 PM
1 mom liked this
If it's only girls? Yes, it would bother me. If other coworkers will be there as well? No.

But, something bothering me and something being a deal breaker are two separate things.

Quoting Secretly101: So it wouldn't bother you if your boyfriend came home and said he met a couple of girls from work and wanted to hang out with them. Without you being there. These aren't old friends these are new friends.

Quoting leanntx: You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
Secretly101
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:18 PM
Yes only girls. While we were together he met a Lesbian couple and would go over there and hang out with them. Which I don't care about sexual orientation I care about you hanging with 2 girls without me. He said well one is becoming a dude but it still bothered me. I really am trying but it is really tugging on my heart. I am just worried he is gonna come back and try and befriend some girl coworker and tell me not to trip because they are just friends.

Quoting leanntx: If it's only girls? Yes, it would bother me. If other coworkers will be there as well? No.

But, something bothering me and something being a deal breaker are two separate things.

Quoting Secretly101: So it wouldn't bother you if your boyfriend came home and said he met a couple of girls from work and wanted to hang out with them. Without you being there. These aren't old friends these are new friends.

Quoting leanntx: You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
leanntx
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this
In that case? I would have told him to have fun.

Not trying to be rude, but have you talked to anyone (professional) about why you feel the way you do? Is there a reason you have trust issues?

Quoting Secretly101: Yes only girls. While we were together he met a Lesbian couple and would go over there and hang out with them. Which I don't care about sexual orientation I care about you hanging with 2 girls without me. He said well one is becoming a dude but it still bothered me. I really am trying but it is really tugging on my heart. I am just worried he is gonna come back and try and befriend some girl coworker and tell me not to trip because they are just friends.

Quoting leanntx: If it's only girls? Yes, it would bother me. If other coworkers will be there as well? No.

But, something bothering me and something being a deal breaker are two separate things.

Quoting Secretly101: So it wouldn't bother you if your boyfriend came home and said he met a couple of girls from work and wanted to hang out with them. Without you being there. These aren't old friends these are new friends.

Quoting leanntx: You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
Secretly101
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:24 PM
I have trust issues because of a previous relationship. I admit that. My parents cheated on each other, my brother cheated on his wife so yea cheating runs rampid all around me. My ex cheated on me in the beginning and I stayed. So....yes

Quoting leanntx: In that case? I would have told him to have fun.

Not trying to be rude, but have you talked to anyone (professional) about why you feel the way you do? Is there a reason you have trust issues?

Quoting Secretly101: Yes only girls. While we were together he met a Lesbian couple and would go over there and hang out with them. Which I don't care about sexual orientation I care about you hanging with 2 girls without me. He said well one is becoming a dude but it still bothered me. I really am trying but it is really tugging on my heart. I am just worried he is gonna come back and try and befriend some girl coworker and tell me not to trip because they are just friends.

Quoting leanntx: If it's only girls? Yes, it would bother me. If other coworkers will be there as well? No.

But, something bothering me and something being a deal breaker are two separate things.

Quoting Secretly101: So it wouldn't bother you if your boyfriend came home and said he met a couple of girls from work and wanted to hang out with them. Without you being there. These aren't old friends these are new friends.

Quoting leanntx: You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
leanntx
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:27 PM
So, he's cheated on you before? Or was that someone else?

Quoting Secretly101: I have trust issues because of a previous relationship. I admit that. My parents cheated on each other, my brother cheated on his wife so yea cheating runs rampid all around me. My ex cheated on me in the beginning and I stayed. So....yes

Quoting leanntx: In that case? I would have told him to have fun.

Not trying to be rude, but have you talked to anyone (professional) about why you feel the way you do? Is there a reason you have trust issues?

Quoting Secretly101: Yes only girls. While we were together he met a Lesbian couple and would go over there and hang out with them. Which I don't care about sexual orientation I care about you hanging with 2 girls without me. He said well one is becoming a dude but it still bothered me. I really am trying but it is really tugging on my heart. I am just worried he is gonna come back and try and befriend some girl coworker and tell me not to trip because they are just friends.

Quoting leanntx: If it's only girls? Yes, it would bother me. If other coworkers will be there as well? No.

But, something bothering me and something being a deal breaker are two separate things.

Quoting Secretly101: So it wouldn't bother you if your boyfriend came home and said he met a couple of girls from work and wanted to hang out with them. Without you being there. These aren't old friends these are new friends.

Quoting leanntx: You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
Secretly101
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:31 PM
Someone else. It doesn't help his ex still calls him trying to get back with him and I guess he is just being honest but ugh it really bothers me. Since he has been gone he said he went to the bar and club with some 22 yr old that is his friend. He said there wasn't anyone else there. I am trying to be ok. :(

Quoting leanntx: So, he's cheated on you before? Or was that someone else?

Quoting Secretly101: I have trust issues because of a previous relationship. I admit that. My parents cheated on each other, my brother cheated on his wife so yea cheating runs rampid all around me. My ex cheated on me in the beginning and I stayed. So....yes

Quoting leanntx: In that case? I would have told him to have fun.

Not trying to be rude, but have you talked to anyone (professional) about why you feel the way you do? Is there a reason you have trust issues?

Quoting Secretly101: Yes only girls. While we were together he met a Lesbian couple and would go over there and hang out with them. Which I don't care about sexual orientation I care about you hanging with 2 girls without me. He said well one is becoming a dude but it still bothered me. I really am trying but it is really tugging on my heart. I am just worried he is gonna come back and try and befriend some girl coworker and tell me not to trip because they are just friends.

Quoting leanntx: If it's only girls? Yes, it would bother me. If other coworkers will be there as well? No.

But, something bothering me and something being a deal breaker are two separate things.

Quoting Secretly101: So it wouldn't bother you if your boyfriend came home and said he met a couple of girls from work and wanted to hang out with them. Without you being there. These aren't old friends these are new friends.

Quoting leanntx: You're not being unreasonable about not wanting him to spend time with other girls one on one. But you really shouldn't refuse to let him have female friends, unless there's a history of cheating.

Quoting Secretly101: I am currently 8 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I broke up during the pregnancy bc of all the issues we had and couldn't work out. He moved back to California and I live in Oklahoma. He has since asked to work things out to be a family which I have agreed to. The problem is that earlier he talked about hanging out with one of his "life long friend" who happens to be a girl. I told him once he moved back home that I would not be ok with him hanging out with other girls especially on a one on one basis. He said I need to get over it and that I'm jealous and that is who he is. I honestly don't feel ok with it but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. He completely blew up on me and I was just letting him know how I felt. Please help!
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