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Do you find this inappropriate?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ok so here is my problem:

My SO and I have been together for 10 years and have 3 children.  He is a very social person and usually tends to have more female friends than guys.  This has never been an issue for me up until recently.  He started this new job about 9 months ago and has become really close to one of his coworkers.  Now, he hangs out with other females from work on a weekly basis (happy hour, lunchs etc) and I don't have a problem with that.  But he and this one women began hanging out on a regular basis, daily and not just for happy hour.  They were going to the mall, dinners, movies...etc.  If they weren't together they were talking and texting and her name was being brought up in every single converstation that we had. 

I decided one day to talk to him about it and told him that I was begining to become a little jealous of his relationship with this one person. I explained why and he said ok...he wouldn't hang out with her so much anymore.  Well, we went to happy hour one day and some of this other coworkers showed up and during their conversations it comes out that he and this woman have still been hanging out quite often and he has just been telling me otherwise.  So I waited until we got home and then tried to talk to him about it.  He proceeded to tell me that there was nothing going on between the two of them, and they were just friends who had a lot in common.  He then told me that I  was being insecure, childish, and stupid.  I then asked him if I could meet this women (try to get to know her) and maybe become more comfortable with her but he has basically pushed that aside with excuses of it would make things awkward at work (because he told her how I feel about their relationship). 

I may be a moron but I love my SO and decided to trust him, like I always have and just leave it be.  Well he has gotten to the point now that if they are going to hang out he actually lets me know again, which is good.  But last night he came home with a new bottle of cologne called Gucci Gold (which retails for between $64 - $114) and told me that this woman had bought it for him for his birthday (which was last week).  I don't know if I am completely crazy and stupid but I honestly find this gift completely inappropriate.  I don't think that any woman should be buying another man (unless they are related or together) something that expensive.  Now that is just my opinion on I wrong to find this inapporpriate? 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 28, 2014 at 2:58 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 4:36 PM

you need to have a sit down talk with both of them. as for the bottle of colonge who's to say. i got a two bottles of my favorite from one of dh's coworker. nothing going on there

by Bronze Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 4:52 PM

I agree with this. Your man should not be receiving gifts or spending that much time with a woman other than you or his And can I ask why you have been together so long, have 3 kids and are not married? THAT is a red flag IMO. Sorry...

Quoting Purgatorian: Your SO is cheating on you. This is completely inappropriate. I would bet money she us being told a whole other story about your relationship with your SO. Not trying to be mean. But you are a fool if you allow this to continue.

by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 4:53 PM

that is not the sort of situation that is going to end well....

by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 4:54 PM
That's an affair. Sorry.

She's changing his scent to fit her desires.

Get a PI need be.
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 4:55 PM

FYI. I played that game with my ex and did the same things your SO is doing. My hubby knew EXACTLY where I was and who I was with and I was having an affair with that person for over a year...right under his nose. My ex and that man were even buddies. Sorry but he's cheating....

by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 4:56 PM

Time to tell him to get out and then you go file for child support.  Next, call her and tell her that you hope she enjoyed dating an attached man and buying him gifts since she's about to start supporting his cheating ass because he'll be paying child support and will be broke as hell. 

by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 5:00 PM

Do this if you at all can.  Cheaters and their sluts don't tend to put up much of a fight when you have pictures to show in court. 

My sister woke up one morning to her husband telling her their marriage was over and to get out.  He filed for divorce and wanted to her continue to pay his rent, pay for the furniture they had bought and a bunch of other things.  Her lawyer started digging and traced the affair he was having to the last several months.  When her asshole husband was made aware of that fact, he suddenly wasn't demanding she pay for anything anymore.  Judges don't tend to like adulterous partners.

Quoting Anonymous: That's an affair. Sorry. She's changing his scent to fit her desires. Get a PI need be.


by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 12:44 AM
Voice activated digital recorder in his vehicle to start.
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 12:57 AM

You're not being foolish. Almost all of that would bring up HUGE red flags for me. My DH and I both have friends of the opposite gender, and to be honest all of that is stuff I do with my male best friend but he's been my best friend since we were 5 years old  (we also don't hang out like that every day) and my husband is also friends with him. I know all of my husband's friends, both the guys and girls, just as he knows all of my friends. I've never once been jealous or insecure when it comes to my husband's friendships but if he just started spending that much time, and doing that many activities with a woman he just met we'd be fighting - especially if he tried to tell me I couldn't meet her. If he is spending all that time with her what time does he have left for you?

Also, and I'm not sure why but, cologne and perfumes have always seemed like very intimate gifts to me when giving them to someone you're not related to. I'd find it inappropriate if one of my husband's female friends were to buy him cologne.   

by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 1:59 AM

This whole story is inappropriate. I would not be ok with my husband doing HALF that shit with another woman. No thanks. Don't be a doormat. Tell him to stop all of it or you are gone. Totally disrespectful to your marriage.

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