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Do you find this inappropriate?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ok so here is my problem:

My SO and I have been together for 10 years and have 3 children.  He is a very social person and usually tends to have more female friends than guys.  This has never been an issue for me up until recently.  He started this new job about 9 months ago and has become really close to one of his coworkers.  Now, he hangs out with other females from work on a weekly basis (happy hour, lunchs etc) and I don't have a problem with that.  But he and this one women began hanging out on a regular basis, daily and not just for happy hour.  They were going to the mall, dinners, movies...etc.  If they weren't together they were talking and texting and her name was being brought up in every single converstation that we had. 

I decided one day to talk to him about it and told him that I was begining to become a little jealous of his relationship with this one person. I explained why and he said ok...he wouldn't hang out with her so much anymore.  Well, we went to happy hour one day and some of this other coworkers showed up and during their conversations it comes out that he and this woman have still been hanging out quite often and he has just been telling me otherwise.  So I waited until we got home and then tried to talk to him about it.  He proceeded to tell me that there was nothing going on between the two of them, and they were just friends who had a lot in common.  He then told me that I  was being insecure, childish, and stupid.  I then asked him if I could meet this women (try to get to know her) and maybe become more comfortable with her but he has basically pushed that aside with excuses of it would make things awkward at work (because he told her how I feel about their relationship). 

I may be a moron but I love my SO and decided to trust him, like I always have and just leave it be.  Well he has gotten to the point now that if they are going to hang out he actually lets me know again, which is good.  But last night he came home with a new bottle of cologne called Gucci Gold (which retails for between $64 - $114) and told me that this woman had bought it for him for his birthday (which was last week).  I don't know if I am completely crazy and stupid but I honestly find this gift completely inappropriate.  I don't think that any woman should be buying another man (unless they are related or together) something that expensive.  Now that is just my opinion on it...am I wrong to find this inapporpriate? 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 28, 2014 at 2:58 PM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Mar. 4, 2014 at 8:31 AM
Those types of relationships aren't allowed in the professional world. It's completely inappropriate for a work relationship and to you, who he's cheating on.
bcauseimthemom
by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 8:40 AM

I would make a DR. appointment for yourself and get tested for STD's.  This woman is his side piece.  Sounds like she is hoping for more.  Why does he need to go out as often as he is if he has a wife and children at home??  I understand needing time away and separate social lives but this sounds a bit extreme.  Maybe it is time for you to start hanging out with the guys.  Let him know he needs to cut back the time out so you can start having time to yourself.  


Have you met this woman??

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Mar. 4, 2014 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh, I forgot to add, I would dump the cologne out down the toilet .... he does not need it.  I would then text her from his phone, set up a meeting time and return the empty bottle to her and let her know that you are his wife and that she needs to find a man of her own. If he gets pissed, well, too freaking bad.

LilyofPhilly
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 9:09 AM

 Open your eyes; he's cheating on you. He wants to be called out on it too.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Mar. 4, 2014 at 9:40 AM

That bastard needs to hit the road. All of it is inappropriat and you are a strong woman for putting up with that bs for so long. No man of yours should be texting other women let alone be hanging out with them. Sorry piece of dog crap!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Mar. 4, 2014 at 9:48 AM

He is in a relationship with her now. Protect yourself and your children.  I am so sorry he is doing this. You deserve better.

MrsCain12
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 10:32 AM
Very inappropriate. If he were going to go out for dinners, etc with her he should have taken you and/or set up a double date situation. Even if he weren't cheating, it's an accountability thing. Does he let you read the text messages they send? I would definitely be extremely suspicious
MrsCain12
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 10:34 AM
This too!

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh, I forgot to add, I would dump the cologne out down the toilet .... he does not need it.  I would then text her from his phone, set up a meeting time and return the empty bottle to her and let her know that you are his wife and that she needs to find a man of her own. If he gets pissed, well, too freaking bad.

JohnnysGirl27
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:49 AM

Exactly this...come on, it's so obvious...

Quoting Purgatorian: Your SO is cheating on you. This is completely inappropriate. I would bet money she us being told a whole other story about your relationship with your SO. Not trying to be mean. But you are a fool if you allow this to continue.


ManicVetTech
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this

If this was my SO, I would be 99.9% certain he was cheating. The whole relationship is wildly inappropriate, as is the gift.

He has done nothing to earn your trust. Just because he tells you that he is with her doesn't mean he is honest about what they are doing. 

He'd be on the curb in a matter of minutes.

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