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Do you find this inappropriate?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Ok so here is my problem:

My SO and I have been together for 10 years and have 3 children.  He is a very social person and usually tends to have more female friends than guys.  This has never been an issue for me up until recently.  He started this new job about 9 months ago and has become really close to one of his coworkers.  Now, he hangs out with other females from work on a weekly basis (happy hour, lunchs etc) and I don't have a problem with that.  But he and this one women began hanging out on a regular basis, daily and not just for happy hour.  They were going to the mall, dinners, movies...etc.  If they weren't together they were talking and texting and her name was being brought up in every single converstation that we had. 

I decided one day to talk to him about it and told him that I was begining to become a little jealous of his relationship with this one person. I explained why and he said ok...he wouldn't hang out with her so much anymore.  Well, we went to happy hour one day and some of this other coworkers showed up and during their conversations it comes out that he and this woman have still been hanging out quite often and he has just been telling me otherwise.  So I waited until we got home and then tried to talk to him about it.  He proceeded to tell me that there was nothing going on between the two of them, and they were just friends who had a lot in common.  He then told me that I  was being insecure, childish, and stupid.  I then asked him if I could meet this women (try to get to know her) and maybe become more comfortable with her but he has basically pushed that aside with excuses of it would make things awkward at work (because he told her how I feel about their relationship). 

I may be a moron but I love my SO and decided to trust him, like I always have and just leave it be.  Well he has gotten to the point now that if they are going to hang out he actually lets me know again, which is good.  But last night he came home with a new bottle of cologne called Gucci Gold (which retails for between $64 - $114) and told me that this woman had bought it for him for his birthday (which was last week).  I don't know if I am completely crazy and stupid but I honestly find this gift completely inappropriate.  I don't think that any woman should be buying another man (unless they are related or together) something that expensive.  Now that is just my opinion on it...am I wrong to find this inapporpriate? 

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 28, 2014 at 2:58 PM
Replies (41-48):
skydivercone
by New Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:54 AM

I'm usually one to try to think positive, but honey.  THIS DOES NOT SOUND GOOD.  Some dudes are just flat out blind, so if you wanna love on him and place the blame on that chic - she's being TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL of YOU!!!  Lets just maybe say that nothing physical is going on - she's totally stepping wierdo boundaries.  

but really, I agree with the other ladies on here... just sayin

Mrs_Velez
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 12:15 PM

I did the same thing. My affair lasted only 4 months though but my ex would drop me off with this guy at night and I wouldn't come home until the next morning. I told him I was helping him on his route, he delivered auto part to dealerships overnight. I wasn't fully lying because I was helping him but it was a lot more than that. It ended when I met someone else and broke up with both of them but my mystery man made his appearance in a couple more of my relationships. I couldn't seem to shake him. He'd text me all the time and say I Love You and i'd still just tell my ex oh we are best friends.

Quoting Anonymous:

FYI. I played that game with my ex and did the same things your SO is doing. My hubby knew EXACTLY where I was and who I was with and I was having an affair with that person for over a year...right under his nose. My ex and that man were even buddies. Sorry but he's cheating....

 

Momofmenagerie
by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 12:22 PM
Any man who throws a tantrum to the point hr calls his wife. " stupid" in defense of his where about needs to be sent back to his mama because she missed a couple of chapters, so let me fill ya in.

They either have or are really fighting NOT cheat. You are non of what he called you, except if you continue to allow this ( snort) "friendship "5
To blossom you are turning into a doormat.

If he gets away with screwing just one woman especially one you are already concerned about , and you don't make any stand at all , he'll do it to you many times over .

When he stomped his feet and behaved in all the ways he accused you of... That's called deflection and deceitful ppl are great at it.


When you catch him cheating, it will be YOUR FAULT. You MADE him because since you didn't trust him, why not do what you thought he was doing ? You MADE him because of a laundry list of things you do WRONG in the relationship be it gaining weight to not catering to all whims, to you aren't scrubbing the grout in the bathroom with a toothbrush.

This is ALL manipulation to make you see how you " drove" him to it.

Get some counseling for yourself now, before this destroys your self worth

Then perhaps work on socking away money so if it's time to leave the cheating relationship, you have a plan.

YES, cologne is a personal item that co worker should not be giving it...HE SHOULD NOT BE ACCEPTING IT. No man is so clueless about women that they don't know we give men cologne WE want to smell! There is sex or sexual tension between them.

He knows you know so he has to play defense praying your offense is WAY weaker, right now, seems to be working.

Find your fight for you and your children first, if he comes along willingly under FAMILY/ wife/ husband vows great!

If not, he'll damage you way to much if you wait.

GET COUNSELING.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2014 at 12:23 PM
Sounds like a cheater to me, and I think you know this.

I'm sorry.
raschwittay
by Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 4:14 PM
I mean. Good for you for seeing the best in your husband. But there comes a time to squash this shit.

Don't be afraid to hear the truth. He may be with this woman. And right under your nose. I'd give him an ultimatum. If he hasn't slept with her yet.
shellymom
by Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 6:58 PM

Anytime a guy mocks your feelings, it's wrong. He's going out to dinner with her and to movies? Those are dates. I think the best thing would be to talk to her yourself without giving him a heads up on it. Find out why she thinks it's okay to go on dates with your man. Either he's lying to her about his relationship with you, or she just doesn't care that he's two-timing. Be nice about it though, just in case they really ARE just friends, but even if they are, they are WAY too close for comfort.

Presley77
by Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 7:02 PM
This. I've been in your shoes and his. He's lying.

Quoting Purgatorian: Your SO is cheating on you. This is completely inappropriate. I would bet money she us being told a whole other story about your relationship with your SO.

Not trying to be mean. But you are a fool if you allow this to continue.
AviannasMama
by Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 3:09 PM
Wow. Trying not to be rude here..so he tells you Ok I'll stop hanging out w her but then Continues to do so behind your back? Does that sound like just a friend? And he wont let you meet her? I can't believe this is seriously even a post asking if we think it's cheating. Obviously he is!!! And your letting him get away with it!!
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