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Adult loneliness

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
5 moms liked this

I never really had friends growing up,I was picked on through school and I had only one or two freinds that I would play with on a regular basis.I was very shy kid and never got into trouble. I played by myself ALOT and often spent 90% of my day alone (as in no friends or siblings)  until I was about  17 or 18.

From this you can imagine I have alot of social akwarness and dont have many friends, although I know alot of people they are more or less just "people I know" .Anyways I am now in my 30s and married and I have a daughter who is like her dad a social butterfly and the complete opposite of what I was at her age, But even at my age I cant help but still feel like a lonely adult now, I feel everyone is alway judging me or leaving me out of things because of my akwardness..I spend most nights sitting on the couch surfing the internet and watching TV. I feel sad alot when I was not invited somewhere by someone and wonder why I was not invited. Is this normal? Does ANYONE else feel this way?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 28, 2014 at 9:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 9:27 PM
Aww I'm sorry. Maybe what you call awkwardness, they see as uninterested? Maybe they think you are a loner by choice and prefer it that way. Instead of being sad about not being invited, create a situation where you are the one to invite someone to hang out with you.

Mishy2
by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 10:30 PM

 I think it is normal to feel that way and I think from time to time we have all felt that way. I know I do sometimes  :)


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 10:38 PM
I can relate in a different sense I had my son at 19 I was pregnant at 18 still in high school everyone stop being my friend and I really haven't had friends since I had kids I too got married had another child since divorce. Im 25 about to be 26 in April i really have no friends honestly I'm okay with it
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 28, 2014 at 10:50 PM
1 mom liked this

This is the same way I have gone through growing up...but I have a twin sister....we are both a lot alike....I didn't talk much throughout my school years....I was made fun of at times in high school......but not so much as to cause me to kill myself or anything. I've dealt with depression back then because of the loneliness...I know I had my sister....but we weren't always in the same classes.....we only had very few friends...I still chat with those few friends...but still never really hung out with them as much as other people hang out with their friends at that age......I am 27 and still feel the same way......I have a boyfriend...we been together for 5 1/2 years...we have a 2 1/2 year old daughter as well....and I still feel alone.....so I definitely understand what your going through....I am going through the same thing......like I don't know how to open up to people because I am self-conscious on thinking if what if they don't like me...or if I say something stupid......I've never been talkative....people only knew me and my sister as the twins......never by our names....and no one really talked to us either...so I always thoguht something was wrong with me and always wondered why nobody ever wanted to talk to me.......it was very lonely. but I have opened up a bit more since i left high school towards my friends....we still chat time to time but  never hang out as much as we did back in 06-07.....i miss those days...and anytime I say we should hang out or they would say it but never follow through with it...none of my friends come over..they know where I live.....but I feel like they don't come over because of my boyfriend...but he is rarely home....works 9 am to 7 pm on weekdays......and 10 am to 7 pm on saturday, 10 am to 5 pm on sunday. he is working at his own business fixing computers, xbox 360s, ps3s, etc......and it gets very lonely always sitting at home....been like this for over 7-8 months and I don't think I can take it anymore...really feel like leaving and moving back to my parents and get my life back in order.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 1, 2014 at 4:33 PM

I'm so sorry.  I was feeling pretty lonely and defeated last night myself.  (((hug)))

Rampgirl04
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 7:13 PM

hugsI know exactly how you feel OP. In fact on almost a daily basis I feel exactly how you are feeling right now and yes It don't feel good at all. I've cried so many times over feeling like a Loner myself. I also was picked on as a child and never really had any true friends growing up and honestly I think alot of it either stemmed from jealousy that I was raised in a great good family or what I think the biggest reason was that my both my twin and I were loners was because we were in Special Ed classes for a learning disability.  Kids canbe really really mean and sadly even as Adults there are Adults that can act that same way too that never mature or grow up. Now to back up my statement about my peers being jealous of my brother and I coming from a great family I don't want it to sound like I mean they didn't come from great families as I don't know their backrounds but it made me wonder but like I said because I and my twin have a disability we've always been treated differently and like were nobody's or something like that and again that hurts. Even as a Adult now we're treated that way including being treated like Nobody's from our own co workers. I'm out of work right now but I've always been treated that way regardless even when I was working. Sometimes It makes me wonder what my existance is really meant for :(

Rampgirl04
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 7:15 PM

hugsHugs to you too Anon for the pain you've had to endure from others as well. That is awful and your story is so sad I'm sorry you had to go through that. I also have a twin.

Quoting Anonymous:

This is the same way I have gone through growing up...but I have a twin sister....we are both a lot alike....I didn't talk much throughout my school years....I was made fun of at times in high school......but not so much as to cause me to kill myself or anything. I've dealt with depression back then because of the loneliness...I know I had my sister....but we weren't always in the same classes.....we only had very few friends...I still chat with those few friends...but still never really hung out with them as much as other people hang out with their friends at that age......I am 27 and still feel the same way......I have a boyfriend...we been together for 5 1/2 years...we have a 2 1/2 year old daughter as well....and I still feel alone.....so I definitely understand what your going through....I am going through the same thing......like I don't know how to open up to people because I am self-conscious on thinking if what if they don't like me...or if I say something stupid......I've never been talkative....people only knew me and my sister as the twins......never by our names....and no one really talked to us either...so I always thoguht something was wrong with me and always wondered why nobody ever wanted to talk to me.......it was very lonely. but I have opened up a bit more since i left high school towards my friends....we still chat time to time but  never hang out as much as we did back in 06-07.....i miss those days...and anytime I say we should hang out or they would say it but never follow through with it...none of my friends come over..they know where I live.....but I feel like they don't come over because of my boyfriend...but he is rarely home....works 9 am to 7 pm on weekdays......and 10 am to 7 pm on saturday, 10 am to 5 pm on sunday. he is working at his own business fixing computers, xbox 360s, ps3s, etc......and it gets very lonely always sitting at home....been like this for over 7-8 months and I don't think I can take it anymore...really feel like leaving and moving back to my parents and get my life back in order.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 1, 2014 at 7:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Much of your childhood sounds like my own, except that I did have brothers.  I think that most adults feel the sting of rejection when we're left out, but I think sometimes issues from our childhood do cause some insecurities in us as adults.  I find myself working out some of my insecurities which are rearing thier heads as I watch my children interact with their friends.  I'd get so emotional if I thought that my kids were being left out or not making friends, etc.  I finally figured out that these are my own insecurities stemming from my own issues from childhood (which for me, was a long, long time ago.)

Having said that, have you ever considered maybe joining a book club?  Or some other kind of group that is highly structured?  

Best of luck to you!



Adrianne122005
by Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 2:09 AM

I couldve written your post myself dear. All we can do is be strong and hope that the warmth of our children and maybe a couple friendships that will develop in time will be enough to cope with the loneliness.

becca5178
by Member on Mar. 2, 2014 at 4:12 AM

I feel that way constantly and everything you said is me as well.  I am working on getting my daughters out more and doing things since we are finally able to do that and I am lonely a lot too etc.  I am hoping to find moms around my age at soccer and her gain a friend too.  I have friends I talk to and I went to high school with but none like in the way you are searching for as well.  I just want to be part of a group and have close friends like what you call the relationship the Golden Girls had and Sex in the City and Friends.  That sums up what I am searching for.  I mean just a friend etc.  I do the same and since I am in school it provides an outlet for sure as well.  

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