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My 18 year old doesn't want to drive!!

Posted by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:02 PM
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Don't know if his OCD, anxiety or what is holding him back but he even talks about how there will be self driving cars in the future so why should he drive? Ha. If I push/encourage him I don't want to freak him out.. I don't want to feel like he will always be dependant on his dad and I to drive him around.. He seems to go around the subject of driving when I bring it up.. Like today.. We now have 3 vehicles, want to sell one but I told him if he learns to drive, gets his license he can drive one, but he said he would have to take an anti anxiety med to ever drive.. I know, we don't want dangerous or unsure drivers on the road and all.. I just wonder if I am making too big of a deal over him not wanting to drive... ?
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by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:02 PM
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by Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:29 PM
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im 42,never driven.i survived..

by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:35 PM
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My sister just retired and never drove a day in her life for similiar reasons. It is quite possible in this day and age not to have to. Big cities have public transportation readily available, and smaller towns you can easily bike around. I wouldn't push him. If and when he's ever ready he will.--One gentle way may be prod him in the direction is to lessen the occassions you can chaffeur him around. Without saying anything, just let him know what it would be like a little bit. Maybe he'll be fine with it, maybe he'll decide he wants to. Let it be his decision, not yours, he has plenty of time.

by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:44 PM
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by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:52 PM

I'm 28, I don't drive. Got freaked out during Driver's Ed behind the wheel, and freak out anytime I try to drive now. We have a city bus, and I live in the middle of town so lots of things are within walking distance. On the rare occasion I need something that I can't carry home or take on the bus, I have a friend that if I give her gas money, she'll take me. No biggie.

by Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 7:58 PM
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 i am 22 and do not drive for similar reasons. dont push him, you will only push him away. there is nothing wrong with not driving. that being said, get him a bike, or a bus pass and tell him to get places on his own, he may prefer to live that way, or decide to take the nessacary steps to start driving. either way it is his life, and his choice.

by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 9:03 PM

Man this is a tough one. 

I'm almost 30 and I've never driven and I regret not learning when I was younger and not so anxiety-ridden. So few people in my family drove and even into their 30s many still don't and it's definitely made life harder. It does limit you because public transport is unreliable and extremely slow. I need an hour to take a bus somewhere that it takes 5-10 minutes to get to in a car. Obviously it's even slower on foot.

So while I understand that it's not the "end of the world" if you don't drive, it's a pain in the ass. Having to carry $80 or $100 worth of groceries home on foot is a pain in the ass, and difficult. If you ever want to buy anything large, like a microwave or worse something like a second-hand couch or can't get that home on foot or on a bus and it's not always easy to find a friend who can or will drive you either.

So in some ways I would encourage you to push him whether he wants it or not. Yes, it's scary at first. All the drivers I know have admitted that they were pretty scared when they first started too. That's normal. But you don't ever get good at something by staying away from it and letting your fear control you. Driving is like anything else, practice practice practice and you get better and easier at it.

Have you suggested professional lessons? It might ease his anxiety if he knows that he's not just going to take a test and then be thrown out onto the road with everyone. If he can practice somewhere safer. Or that you'll take him out to less busy areas (parking lots in the early morning or late evening can be great places where nobody much is around). Make sure he knows that he can take it slow but still learn.  

by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 9:11 PM
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Let him be. If he wants to, he'll do it in his own time. Now I got my learners permit at age 14. I've been driving ever since. Then I had a brain aneurysm 1 1/2 years ago. I can't drive now. It's a pain in the behind having to have people take me places for appointments. We have two kids. I have to take a class to get my license back, so I don't even know if I'll get it back. I know if I do, I'll never drive out on the interstate etc. There's just too much going on for me. I didn't used to be like this. I've driven all over. I used to be able to get in my vehicle and go. I can't do that now. It stinks. But the main thing is, I'm alive! 

by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 3, 2014 at 9:19 PM

He is an adult now and responsible for himself. If he chooses to walk or take a bus etc. then thats is choice. He needs to take his own butt to the doc if he thinks he has a problem. Let him man up and be how he wants to be

by Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 9:21 PM
I get severe anxiety being IN a car, the thought of actually driving leaves me basically paralyzed with fear.
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 9:26 PM

I didnt want to drive at that age. I only got my license because I wanted to be a soccer mom someday.

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