Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

How to deal with the ex girlfriend

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

I have never met this woman but she is driving me crazy contacting my boyfriend. BF & I started dating back in December but had been talking for about 3 months prior to that. I did know that he had dated someone else on & off for a year after his divorce. After we started dating he told me that over the summer she would come pounding on his door drunk at 3am! One time his roommate opened the door & she went upstairs to BF's room & sat on his bed & stared at him til he woke up. She continues to call or text him asking him what she did wrong, why he doesn't love her, tells him she wants to change & make things work etc. Most recent attempt at contacting him was a few weeks ago when BF & I were out to dinner. He told me he might just give me her number & let me handle it. 

And yes, he still has her as a contact in his phone because she has property of his that he needs back so he wants to make arrangements with her to get them. THEN he will delete her number. Which I don't blame him. I am pretty peeved at her & I have no clue who she is!

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 4, 2014 at 6:08 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MagicMonkey
by New Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 6:31 AM
3 moms liked this

Be careful, I had a relationship like this, and he was in fact still dating her! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 4, 2014 at 6:35 AM
2 moms liked this
You only know HIS side-

My ex painted picture i was that wAy when reality it was him. we had to go to court for a restraining order against him and we sued for slander and won because his rumors cost me my job at the time.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 4, 2014 at 6:38 AM
4 moms liked this
If it is this early in the relationship and theres this type of drama... That is a huge red flag

Breakup with him- i cannot have any respect for someone that's willing to throw you into the middle and give you her phone number and cause up more issues for yourself -say she is as crazy as he paints the pictures of her- you really want to involve yourself with someone like that?

Get off this crazy Train before it derails
lilswty
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 6:40 AM
4 moms liked this

Crazy situation to be in huh?  First of all, I dont think it is your responsibility to deal with her.  He is a grown man and should handle his own business.  You really never know what goes on when your not around, guys can be very misleading.  He could still be communicating with her and thats why shes acting like a crazy phsyco.  Somtiimes its difficult to see the reality of a situation.  Not saying this is what going on, but it could be.  If I were in your shoes, I would tell him I want nothing more to do with him until he retrieves all of his belongings from her and deletes all contact.  Make him make a choice..  Relationships are hard enough without unneeded conflict,  It makes it so much harder when you have time and feeling invested.  I say invest no more untill he solves this problem.

RitaTequila531
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 7:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I would handle her. She'd find out who I was and just how crazy I can get, fast
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
La_Vie_en_R0se
by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 7:20 AM
2 moms liked this

I would be concerned that there was more going on that he is saying.  Any girl that I have ever met that acted anything like you describe was being emotionally fucked and strung along by the guy.  

I'd run as fast away as I could from this relationship.  

sourpatchmom098
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 7:31 AM
1 mom liked this

well if theyve been split up for months and he hasnt got his stuff back yet, he isn't going to get it back. so he needs to cut his stuff as a loss and erase her contact number. id say if hes not willing to do that, theres more to it than that and like the ladies said above, you only know his side of the story. There are plenty of crazy women out there but that doesnt mean that he doesnt have some part in this situation or why she is being that way. Just a questoin, does he show you the texts she send him? cuz i can prety well guarantee she texts him if they still have each others number. my SO's ex was like that, she would talk to him about them getting back together and all that even though theyd been split for a few years and hed dated between her and me. she didnt care that we were together, she would even try to get him to sleep with her when he would go to see or get his kids. it got to the point where he stopped going over there as much because she was harrassing him so much. and no, i don't believe he ever slept with her because id been with him to go to her place so i knew exactly how long it would take him to get to her place from ours and he would literally call me within 5 min. of having the kids dropped off to let me know what she did and that he was on his way home. he always showed me all the texts they sent between each other so i knew exactly what was being said

GloryDaze
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 8:25 AM
There are a few questions you should be asking yourself.

1 Can this guy really care for you and be concerned for your well being if he is telling youthat he should give the girl's number to you and let you deal with her?

2 Does he intend for you both to fight over him? - because it really seems like that's what he is trying to set up!

3 If they broke up in December - why hadn't he already gotten his things back or why is he still trying to get his things back? It's been 3 months already. That seems suspicious to me and it should seem suspicious to you too.

4 please keep in mind that if he did talk you into"dealing with the other girl" for him, you would most likely get involved in a fight with the girl...and the police would arrest you....and yyou'd have lawyers and court proceedings to deal with....and finally you'd have the arrest on your record for the rest of your life which you would have to explain to any and every future employer or college administrators.

It should just raise a red flag in your brain that this guy does NOT truly care about you or your well being if he is telling you that he should let you deal with his ex girlfriend.... if she even really is his ex girlfriend.
Ragna
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 10:52 AM
This a situation I have been in but I was the one he said was crazy. The reality was we never stopped our relation ship and his current GF. to this day believes him if I was u I would run as fast as u can . He is lying to u he is a narcicist and when he has used u up he will call his ex. It is a cycle that he enjoys if it really bothered him he would have her number his stuff is more important than your feelings REALLY!!!!!! He loves I know what I'm talking about been there done that

Quoting Anonymous:

I have never met this woman but she is driving me crazy contacting my boyfriend. BF & I started dating back in December but had been talking for about 3 months prior to that. I did know that he had dated someone else on & off for a year after his divorce. After we started dating he told me that over the summer she would come pounding on his door drunk at 3am! One time his roommate opened the door & she went upstairs to BF's room & sat on his bed & stared at him til he woke up. She continues to call or text him asking him what she did wrong, why he doesn't love her, tells him she wants to change & make things work etc. Most recent attempt at contacting him was a few weeks ago when BF & I were out to dinner. He told me he might just give me her number & let me handle it. 

And yes, he still has her as a contact in his phone because she has property of his that he needs back so he wants to make arrangements with her to get them. THEN he will delete her number. Which I don't blame him. I am pretty peeved at her & I have no clue who she is!

Ragna
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 10:55 AM
That is stupid I saw no man is worth the trouble and he a liar . Do need a man that bad?

Quoting RitaTequila531: I would handle her. She'd find our who I was and just how crazy I can get, fast
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)