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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

Not sure what to do..

Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

Hey ladies.

Im just looking for some advice really. my boyfriend&I have a seven month old daughter. when i was 5 months pregnant with her we separated, not for any bad reason. i was going through a really hard time and we just took some time out. he still supported me through my pregnancy&provided money towards what i needed for the baby. he's a great person! we got back together 3 weeks after our daughter was born&have been blissfully i thought. lastnight he confessed to me that when we were separated he was seeing someone else&it only ended a week before i had our daughter. i am heartbroken.i feel like i have no right to be upset about it as we werent together but i was pregnant&i feel like he betrayed me in someway. im very confused about it all. he said he told me because he couldnt bear to keep it from me&i just wish i never knew. now im doubting everything. please, what would you do ? i love him, and i dont want to leave him, but im very hurt at the moment.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 5, 2014 at 7:35 AM
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:19 AM
Since you were both officially separated at the time, I don't think it really falls under the term infidelity. As long as you are positive the other woman / girl is out of the picture, try to start fresh with a clean slate and do not hold resentment.

I almost wish he hadn't told you since it wad apparently a short fling that ended before you got back together.

Some men, as you stated with your boyfriend, confess because they want ti be honest and other men confess to use it as a manipulation tool in the relationship....meaning....some subliminally want their girlfriend to know that they were wanted by someone else and therefore the current girlfriend should appreciate that their boyfriend chose to be with them instead of the other woman.

If your boyfriend doesn't mention it again he probably just wanted to relieve any guilt but if he keeps bringing it up you should know he is probably trying to cause you to be jealous and feel insecure about yourself due to his continual emotional manipultion.

I hope that makes sense.

Good luck to you and congratulations on your new baby.
by Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:57 AM

Your feelings are important just as his..  You were seperated and he sounds like an overall good guy.  He is with you and your child now, and that should be what your focus is.  Its not a good feeling to know that the one you love was seeing someone else, but in the same light you must appreciated his honesty.  Could you imagine a few months down the road if he never mentioned it, and someone else did, that would be a feeling of slap in the face.  Try to focus on your relationship if anything this could be something that in the end brings you closer.  Although at this point you may feel a bit distant and confused,  it could be a blessing in disguise making him realize that regardless whos out there, you are what he wants.  Work as a team and work together besides, the thing meant to tear us apart, are the ones that make us so much stronger..  Goodluck Do whats best for you and your family.

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