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Has anybody gone through pregnancy alone?

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 8:55 PM
  • 19 Replies
So I'm currently 8 1/2 months pregnant and me and I've had a VERY rocky relationship with my unborn baby's father. He has a little bit of a drinking problem, anger issues, and we have trust issues because of his dishonesty. To say the least he's just an asshole. Our baby was not planned. I've really really tried to make it work with him despite him not being a good support system through my pregnancy.

Last weekend we had some people over and he got drunk and we got into a huge argument where he was verbally attacking me. It was the last straw after dealing with a similar situation the previous weekend. I left. I moved back into my parents house. He seems to not care at all that I left. He wants to be involved in the baby's life but does not want to work it out with me. I don't really want to work it out with him either if it means a life time of dealing with what I've been going through since being pregnant.

The worst part is, it's not even been a week that I left and he is talking to his ex -.- I feel so disrespected, and pushed to the side. I've always tried to show how much I care about him, and he's so selfish.

I'm so depressed and don't know what to do :(
Does anybody have advice, ways to cope, or anything that can make me feel better?!

Thanks for any responses
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 8:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DawsonGia0611
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:03 PM
3 moms liked this
A baby is enough of a responsibility. If he's not with you helping you through it than you are better off. You can't look after a child and a man-child at the same time. It will drain you. Save yourself the trouble and wait until you have you and your life with baby settled and let the right man come along an treat you how you deserve. Don't waste anymore time with this loser.
lesleyyy
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:08 PM
Thank you DawsonGia0611 for the response, you are absolutely correct
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:18 PM
2 moms liked this

I went through my first pregnancy alone.  We split up right before I found out I was pregnant (even though *I* knew). I wound up in a safe haven for teens and then moved in with my daughters fathers mother. I turned 18 during my pregnancy. I got a job by 3 months pregnant and moved in with some co workers when I was 6 months. Very early in the pregnancy (yes I told him as soon as I got proof from a Dr) he was arrested on old warrants. He was in jail until Christmas. When he got out I tried to work it out. Even though I knew it was a mistake. My family pushed me to marry him. And I supposed I let them push. We were married a month after his release and our daughter was born 12 days later. I left him when she was 6 months old. We tried again shortly before her first birthday. It lasted a week. He saw her once since then and she was 19 months old. Although it was hard, walking away was the best thing for her and for me. She's 16 now and a truely awesome kid.

DawsonGia0611
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:18 PM
2 moms liked this
I speak from experience. If I had stayed with my oldest sons father I would not have been able to focus on him as I was able to with just him and I. Mainly because I wasn't emotionally exhausted from his fathers bullshit, lies, etc. and if I had wasted time with him I never would have found the man of my dreams just 2.5 years later. We have been together 5.5 years and are due any day with baby #3.

This will all work out because you already know the right thing to do, and that you don't deserve or want that kind of life. You'll never meet the man of your dreams as long as you're putting yourself through the crap he's dishing out. I wish you all the luck in the world, and my best advice is never look for a man to complete your family but rather develop a family just you and your child and find happiness and love for yourself and the right person will come along. Don't settle. Take your time. Again, best of luck to you and baby'

Quoting lesleyyy: Thank you DawsonGia0611 for the response, you are absolutely correct
RocknRoll.Rose
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:25 PM
2 moms liked this

I had to go through my pregnancy alone with no real support system. The father raped me and I put him in jail. I have no family, except my 11 year old brother, and my drug addicted mother, who allowed her boyfriend to rape me. It is a tough thing to do but it can be done. Try finding a church, if you are religious, or a women's group. Good luck to you.

Conner


Wyatt and Tabitha

"The baby girl without a chance. A victim of circumstance. The one who ought to give up but she's just too hard headed. A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops, with gentle hands and the heart of a fighter. I'm a survivor"
3againstitall
by Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:34 PM
2 moms liked this
I had been trying to leave my son's bio dad when I found out I was pregnant. His response to my pregnancy? We can get rid or it, right? But I tried to work it because I was having his baby. It didn't work. I ended up moving back home. The rest of my pregnancy I was alone, he went on drug binges, rehab, recovery homes and the like.

It was the hardest thing to do. But honestly it was for the best. I got stronger and more confident about being a mother. Bio dad ended up moving away when ds was around a year and half. The more time I spent away from him and making myself unavailable, I realized how much better not only I was but my son.

Keep your head up. Things will be get better.
lesleyyy
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:36 PM
Yal''s responses are so helpful, it's nice to hear from people who can relate to my situation.

DawsonGia0611 it is extremely encouraging to hear that you met a wonderful man after having go through that. I know it will be a while before that happens for me, but you're right I should not rely on a man to make to complete my family.

It is nice to hear though :) i hope the same can happen for me in the future.
lesleyyy
by New Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:46 PM
Thank you for the words of encouragement 3againstitall. I do just want the best for me and my future son, and I thought that would be having his mother and father together, but I've definitely come to realize I need to be strong and move on for my son.

I hope the depressing feelings in the meantime start to subside and I can just get back to being my happy self!
michelle71115
by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 11:45 PM
3 moms liked this
I went through not one but two pregnancies alone. I didn't learn enough the first time and believed everything he said once I had the first baby. When I went into the hospital I called him and suddenly he wanted to be a family, well he did it again when I was pregnant with number 2 and now he is 7 states away and barely keeps in contact, he sees them about 4 wks a year. It was the hardest thing I've ever done leaving him while I was pregnant but only you know what you can put up with. If you left you know you and your baby deserve better and try to find happiness you are already doing better than some!!
tootbtj88
by New Member on Mar. 15, 2014 at 12:00 AM
2 moms liked this
Focus on the on the next few weeks. You'll be meeting your bundle of joy and finally be able to hold him/her in your arms. There is no love like the one you have for your child. It sucks going through a pregnancy alone because your a ball of emotions. His loss not yours.
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