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You chose to have a baby. Why do you think everyone else should pay for everything?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 144 Replies
17 moms liked this

My friend recently had a baby. She made it known to everybody throughout the pregnancy that we all needed to make sure she had everything she needed for the baby. She was telling us all what we were gonna buy her for her shower. The item she chose for me was a more expensive item. She made me godmother and said that being godmother i had to buy something expensive. I later found out she had several godmothers. I guess so she could get us all to buy expensive things. SO and i were trying to conceive so we were saving money and trying to be frugal for when we did have a baby(we got pregnant almost right after she had her baby). We were sacrificing daily so we could save up i wasn't about to go drop a bunch of cash that was for our baby on someone else's baby. We have 2 kids also so we have priorities above us and our friends. I told her i couldn't buy it and i got some cute outfits for the shower(I was going to get something else like the baby tub but everything i could think of that was less than $100 she would say someone else is getting it. With an attitude.) She cried for days after the shower because she didn't get everything she wanted to get. Making it sound like no one cared about her.

Her pregnancy was not an accident. They had been trying to conceive for over a year. They hadn't saved up anything. My pregnancy was planned but i don't expect anyone to buy what i need for my baby. If we didn't think we can afford it we would have waited. The other day she was telling me that she has barely spent anything on the new baby. Like...ok...glad you're proud of that. I wouldn't be. When did baby showers become all about making everyone support your baby? I thought they were about celebrating a new life? I guess it's just the materialistic culture we live in. It's not everyone else's responsibility to make sure your kid has what it needs. You are the parents. Take care of your own child. If people do buy you things for the baby you should be grateful. You shouldn't expect anything and you should know that if no one buys you anything that it will be ok because you can afford it.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2014 at 1:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
happynewyorker
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 1:30 PM
8 moms liked this

I always thought having a baby shower was the help to celebrate the new addition to the family.  When you have places that you register for items you would like for your new addition, it's nice to receive what you ask for.  If you didn't that's fine also.  I know when I had my shower my mom threw it for me.  I didn't get everything I asked for and went out and purchased the items I needed, like a car seat.  The stroller I waited until I found one on sale. 

I guess for your friend it's a different feeling, then how you feel about celebrating a new life. 

The more important thing is did she send out her Thank you cards yet? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2014 at 2:49 PM
4 moms liked this

She has no intention of ever sending thank you cards. I have an amazon registry. But that's for me to organize myself and get a visual idea of what we have so far and what we need. If anyone wants to get anything off of it i'd probably feel bad. I'm very grateful if people do want to get things but i don't want them to think we expect anything. Everyone keeps asking if i will have a babyshower. My closest friends are all going through financial strain and my family has some other issues that they are dealing with right now so i don't think anyone will throw me one, whish is fine. I hate being the center of attention. If i do have one myself it won't be a hey, look at me i got knocked up so buy me presents kinda thing. It'll just be inviting everyone over for bbq or something so we can celebrate having a new person to love.

Quoting happynewyorker:

I always thought having a baby shower was the help to celebrate the new addition to the family.  When you have places that you register for items you would like for your new addition, it's nice to receive what you ask for.  If you didn't that's fine also.  I know when I had my shower my mom threw it for me.  I didn't get everything I asked for and went out and purchased the items I needed, like a car seat.  The stroller I waited until I found one on sale. 

I guess for your friend it's a different feeling, then how you feel about celebrating a new life. 

The more important thing is did she send out her Thank you cards yet? 


happynewyorker
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 3:04 PM

 Have u consider in some religions they have a shower after the baby is born.  So, they can see the baby and celebrate the shower at the same time. I like the BBQ idea.

I can relate on not liking to be the center of attention. Don't worry, your little one will be.

Well, that stinks on the friend not sending thank you cards, it really means a lot for others to send it. I'm anal about sending them. :)

Good luck on the pendind arrival!

Congulations!1

Quoting Anonymous:

She has no intention of ever sending thank you cards. I have an amazon registry. But that's for me to organize myself and get a visual idea of what we have so far and what we need. If anyone wants to get anything off of it i'd probably feel bad. I'm very grateful if people do want to get things but i don't want them to think we expect anything. Everyone keeps asking if i will have a babyshower. My closest friends are all going through financial strain and my family has some other issues that they are dealing with right now so i don't think anyone will throw me one, whish is fine. I hate being the center of attention. If i do have one myself it won't be a hey, look at me i got knocked up so buy me presents kinda thing. It'll just be inviting everyone over for bbq or something so we can celebrate having a new person to love.

Quoting happynewyorker:

I always thought having a baby shower was the help to celebrate the new addition to the family.  When you have places that you register for items you would like for your new addition, it's nice to receive what you ask for.  If you didn't that's fine also.  I know when I had my shower my mom threw it for me.  I didn't get everything I asked for and went out and purchased the items I needed, like a car seat.  The stroller I waited until I found one on sale. 

I guess for your friend it's a different feeling, then how you feel about celebrating a new life. 

The more important thing is did she send out her Thank you cards yet? 

 

 

godsgirl26
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 3:08 PM
12 moms liked this
Wow, I wouldn't have gotten her anything.
I wouldn't want to be a godmother to a kid if her mom is like that.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2014 at 3:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry. I actually did mean to put that the bbq would be after baby is here. That way i can have a beer or 2. I've been craving apple ales lately. lol. And thanks. We are too excited :)

Quoting happynewyorker:

 Have u consider in some religions they have a shower after the baby is born.  So, they can see the baby and celebrate the shower at the same time. I like the BBQ idea.

I can relate on not liking to be the center of attention. Don't worry, your little one will be.

Well, that stinks on the friend not sending thank you cards, it really means a lot for others to send it. I'm anal about sending them. :)

Good luck on the pendind arrival!

Congulations!1

Quoting Anonymous:

She has no intention of ever sending thank you cards. I have an amazon registry. But that's for me to organize myself and get a visual idea of what we have so far and what we need. If anyone wants to get anything off of it i'd probably feel bad. I'm very grateful if people do want to get things but i don't want them to think we expect anything. Everyone keeps asking if i will have a babyshower. My closest friends are all going through financial strain and my family has some other issues that they are dealing with right now so i don't think anyone will throw me one, whish is fine. I hate being the center of attention. If i do have one myself it won't be a hey, look at me i got knocked up so buy me presents kinda thing. It'll just be inviting everyone over for bbq or something so we can celebrate having a new person to love.

Quoting happynewyorker:

I always thought having a baby shower was the help to celebrate the new addition to the family.  When you have places that you register for items you would like for your new addition, it's nice to receive what you ask for.  If you didn't that's fine also.  I know when I had my shower my mom threw it for me.  I didn't get everything I asked for and went out and purchased the items I needed, like a car seat.  The stroller I waited until I found one on sale. 

I guess for your friend it's a different feeling, then how you feel about celebrating a new life. 

The more important thing is did she send out her Thank you cards yet? 




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2014 at 3:16 PM

That's why i only got a few outfits. I was gonna by a few other things but i was so tired of her telling me what i was going to buy. She was like a bridezilla but a baby showerzilla. She's always like that though. She was always so spoiled. Constantly crying if she doesn't get her way. I have been trying to avoid her but our kids are close and i'd feel bad to take them all away from each other. Even when i go awhile without seeing her she will eventually call me up cying because she needs something and that's her way of guilting me into doing it. I'm not at all a push over. But we have been friends since we were kids and she lost both her parents at a young age so i always felt bad for her. I know she doesn't have anyone left in her family. I'm the only person who has been around forever. If it weren't for that i wouldn't be able to stand being her friend. It's just alot of aggravation. And a very one sided sort of relationship. I give and she takes.

Quoting godsgirl26: Wow, I wouldn't have gotten her anything. I wouldn't want to be a godmother to a kid if her mom is like that.


happynewyorker
by Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 3:36 PM

 

Something to think about: some religions have a baby shower when the baby comes. Come the BBQ, meet the baby and have a great time.  shouting

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry. I actually did mean to put that the bbq would be after baby is here. That way i can have a beer or 2. I've been craving apple ales lately. lol. And thanks. We are too excited :)

Quoting happynewyorker:

 Have u consider in some religions they have a shower after the baby is born.  So, they can see the baby and celebrate the shower at the same time. I like the BBQ idea.

I can relate on not liking to be the center of attention. Don't worry, your little one will be.

Well, that stinks on the friend not sending thank you cards, it really means a lot for others to send it. I'm anal about sending them. :)

Good luck on the pendind arrival!

Congulations!1

Quoting Anonymous:

She has no intention of ever sending thank you cards. I have an amazon registry. But that's for me to organize myself and get a visual idea of what we have so far and what we need. If anyone wants to get anything off of it i'd probably feel bad. I'm very grateful if people do want to get things but i don't want them to think we expect anything. Everyone keeps asking if i will have a babyshower. My closest friends are all going through financial strain and my family has some other issues that they are dealing with right now so i don't think anyone will throw me one, whish is fine. I hate being the center of attention. If i do have one myself it won't be a hey, look at me i got knocked up so buy me presents kinda thing. It'll just be inviting everyone over for bbq or something so we can celebrate having a new person to love.

Quoting happynewyorker:

I always thought having a baby shower was the help to celebrate the new addition to the family.  When you have places that you register for items you would like for your new addition, it's nice to receive what you ask for.  If you didn't that's fine also.  I know when I had my shower my mom threw it for me.  I didn't get everything I asked for and went out and purchased the items I needed, like a car seat.  The stroller I waited until I found one on sale. 

I guess for your friend it's a different feeling, then how you feel about celebrating a new life. 

The more important thing is did she send out her Thank you cards yet? 

 

 

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2014 at 9:04 AM
I think that she's an idiot. My best friend was like that. She has three kids and with each she acted like a complete asshole. She's a spoiled brat. Her husband takes care of her and before than her parents did. She can't drive,didn't graduate,and has only has one job with her mil. I said how I didn't spend barely anything but that was because I got a lot of hand me downs ... I don't mind using things that people are through with. They are usually nice .
mysticatgal
by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 9:07 AM
I think she needs to be an adult and grow up. She needs to take care of the child financially and in every way. What if the baby has colic? It's one thing to take a break it's another to expect everyone to drop what their doing everytime she calls.
April620
by New Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 9:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with you op.  That's a rude and entitiled way of thinking on her part

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