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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

Can't believe DH said this

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
After losing 20 pounds since February 2013, I gained about 5 back. I'm 5'3" and have always had chunky legs and calves. My thighs got smaller but calves stayed the same.

I was trying on a dress for a cousin's wedding in May and asked DH what he thought. Looked me up and down, "starting to get a little cankly, baby."

Speechless. Said, they've always been this way. I have Body Dysmorphia, and I know I'm sensitive about stupid things but his response to my same-size "cankles"?

"Wow. Genetics are not good to you."

Are you f*cking KIDDING me? All I could do was storm out, grabbed a pillow and blanket to sleep on the couch. He went to bed. No apology or anything. Am I overreacting?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2014 at 3:35 AM
Replies (21-30):
godsgirl26
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 10:04 PM
Please don't get mad. You asked & he gave you his opinion.
Pnukey
by Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 10:27 PM

You didn't phrase it, "How does this dress look?" but rather, "What do you think?" That's what he was thinking. Next time, be more specific or don't ask.

psych_mom
by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 10:34 PM

Although he was really rude in his answer and that was what you were asking about you have learned an important lesson here- do not ask his opinion about these things. Wait until you are around your girlfriends or more sensitive family member.

Mummy2Connor
by on Mar. 18, 2014 at 10:37 PM

BUMP!

RitaTequila531
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2014 at 10:38 PM
I would've lost it
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
amandacr1026
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:04 AM

that was extremely hurtful...

UmiFujii
by on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:22 AM

He was WAY out of line! I am sorry he said something like that to you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2014 at 12:49 AM
It didn't phase him. He must've been out of it, because he went to sleep immediately after I stormed out. He apologized after I told him tonight that what he said upset me.

Obviously "what do you think" was implying the dress. We agreed on making it clear what we want opinions on, and if I ask his opinion I won't be mad with his honesty.

I still am hurt by that remark because I've worked so hard to get here, but whatever he's stubborn.

Quoting Anonymous: He couldn't tell? But you stormed out and slept on the couch.

Quoting Anonymous: He never says things like that. We're both very sarcastic but he knows my struggles with BDD and my weight, and he's very happy with my body - apparently not in the dress. That's why I was in such disbelief when he said it. He didn't even realize what I was offended by, he said it was "meant to be endearing". How? Couldn't tell you.

Quoting Anonymous: Why do people stay in a relationship with someone who treats them like this? Obviously he didn't think you looked good. Next time tell him to lie if that's what you want.
nanny1918
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 7:14 AM
There was no need for him to be hurtful.
aj_mom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2014 at 10:33 AM

My DH knows better than to say something like that. And he would be the one sleeping on the couch not me.

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