I've been around my SO's children for 3 years now and still have issues on how to discipline them. Their mother lost her rights and has no say in any of their things. shes not to have contact with them til they're 18. We've had them back in custody for 2 years in august and dad had to fight for them for 2 years before that. So its been a real struggle. Also their bio mom has seen them about 10 times in the last 2 yrs. Usually bdays and holidays.(My so doesn't get this and it gets under my skin cause it hurts these kids more than does good) but anyways...
*Alan* has ADHD and so does *Lynne*, Alan is treated while Lynne is not. Alan also has recently started counseling for issues regarding his mom and other things. Lynne never wants anything to do with her mom unless she buys presents or sees her. Lynne always defys me. Like I ask her to sit still at dinner, shell get up and dance. Tell her to watch a movie and play, shell run around amok. The thing that doesn't help is her dad doesn't redirect her at all and i feel I'm always doing the disciplining.
My problem with Alan is he's always back talking and I'm getting to the point where I want to back hand him for it. Monday he pushed my son down the steps outside and he luckily caught himself, and i told hia dad and his dad got mad that I yelled at Alan and took things away, like tv,etc. It was all over a book, that he didn't give back to my son Andrew. I'm getting just as frustrated with Lynne to, when she doesnt get her way or wants to scream bloody murder when I finally yell at her.
I love them dearly and i love my so, but no matter how many times i tell him how i feel about this he gets defensive, yet when its about my kids, I let him deal with it if needed, because they need to know he's an authoritative figure in the house hold. (idk a better word for it) but I guess my overall question is how do I get Alan, whos 13, to quit with the "you're not my mom attitude" and Lynne, who's 6, to "just listen" to me? Dad doesn't help the situation sometimes. I'm just at my wits end!