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Terminating Dads Rights

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 76 Replies

My DD is 1yr... Her dad lives about 4 to 5 hours away. he doesn't come visit cuz he doesn't have the gas money. He was ordered to pay CS (264 a month) and only pays every now and then. He talked to me yesterday about terminating his rights to cut CS payments so taht he could have the money to come visit her.

I told him that this was totally his decision. If this is something he wants to do then its completely up to him.

I do feel that if he does go thru with it I will be able to relax. As it stands right now he has the right to pursue any visitation or custody at anytime after he legitimizes her. After he cuts this off he can no longer pursue that.

Even if he does go thru with this I will not cut him out cmpletely. If he is going to make an effort to be there, then I won't stop him. If he doesn't, then that will make it easier for me to protect her from it. But I refuse to leave any area for someone to say that I didn't allow him to see her or her to see him.

Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?


Alright.. just so everyone knows and people can stop posting the same thing over and over... Yes.. I have looked up the laws in my state and yes they do state that the court will not willingly cut off a parents rights unless another parent is willing to step into that position. I currently have no one I would be comfortable putting in that place.

So far discussion between the father and I about this has stopped. He did make it out to see her for an overnight visit at our house and has told me he will try again in two weeks. We'll see if he keeps it up.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RitaTequila531
by Hush.Breathe.Relax on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:18 PM
That makes no sense to me.
Terminating rights is a big deal, without his rights why would you even let him see her?
Imo, terminating your rights is not only cutting financial ties but all other ties too
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:22 PM

Because I know he has a desire to see her. I don't want her to look back and see that he wanted to see me but my mom wouldn't let him.

Quoting RitaTequila531: That makes no sense to me. Terminating rights is a big deal, without his rights why would you even let him see her? Imo, terminating your rights is not only cutting financial ties but all other ties too


Basicrose
by Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:23 PM
3 moms liked this

I heard that even if you terminate parental rights of your child, you are still responsible to pay child support. Think about it.... if you terminated your rights so you didnt have to pay child support, wouldnt everyone do it??  No i havent looked it up so i dont know.

As far as visits after terminating your rights? Forget it! I wouldnt let him near her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:35 PM
1 mom liked this

from what I understand, terminating rights is the only way to stop child support. and no I don't think EVERYONE would do it because a lot of people still want the legal right to pursue custody or visitation rights. After terminating rights, you don't have to be contacted about anything concerning your child. Meaning if something happened and our daughter was involved in a court case for whatever reason, he would get notified. After terminating, unless I told him he wouldn't know.

Quoting Basicrose:

I heard that even if you terminate parental rights of your child, you are still responsible to pay child support. Think about it.... if you terminated your rights so you didnt have to pay child support, wouldnt everyone do it??  No i havent looked it up so i dont know.

As far as visits after terminating your rights? Forget it! I wouldnt let him near her.


Rosehawk
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:47 PM
2 moms liked this

IF he terminates his paternal rights, you can deny him visitation becasue he will no longer, legally, be her father.

If the two of you split on good terms, I'd consider it.
If the two of you split on bad terms, I'd let him do it, then deny him access. If he terminates his rights, he has no ground to stand on. 

Purgatorian
by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:52 PM
11 moms liked this

 Don't you dare feel responsible for his inability to come see his child.  This is in no way your fault. He is a grown ass man that if he REALLY wanted to see her he would find a damn way! Take a bus. Take a train. Borrow the money from family. Hitchhike.

If theres a will, theres a way.

Know what will happen if you let him terminate rights?

You will get less CS and he still wont make it up to see her. Betcha!

Quoting Anonymous:

Because I know he has a desire to see her. I don't want her to look back and see that he wanted to see me but my mom wouldn't let him.

Quoting RitaTequila531: That makes no sense to me. Terminating rights is a big deal, without his rights why would you even let him see her? Imo, terminating your rights is not only cutting financial ties but all other ties too

 

 

~~"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." -Buddha~~

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:57 PM
3 moms liked this

well here's another angle... and it will probably end up in the orig post. Right now I wonder how long it will be until he takes me to court for visitation and custody. At the moment, he has no legitimized her and so holds no legal rights to custody or visitation. the only thing he has right now is confirmed paternity that gives him the right to pursue if he so chooses. My thoughts, if he terminates, I won't have to worry about that.. ever..

I wholeheartedly agree with you though. if he really wanted to see her he would have found a way to do it.

Quoting Purgatorian:

 Don't you dare feel responsible for his inability to come see his child.  This is in no way your fault. He is a grown ass man that if he REALLY wanted to see her he would find a damn way! Take a bus. Take a train. Borrow the money from family. Hitchhike.

If theres a will, theres a way.

Know what will happen if you let him terminate rights?

You will get less CS and he still wont make it up to see her. Betcha!

Quoting Anonymous:

Because I know he has a desire to see her. I don't want her to look back and see that he wanted to see me but my mom wouldn't let him.

Quoting RitaTequila531: That makes no sense to me. Terminating rights is a big deal, without his rights why would you even let him see her? Imo, terminating your rights is not only cutting financial ties but all other ties too


 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 30, 2014 at 11:02 PM

We split on pretty bad terms and have gone thru the whole roller coaster of emotions since. At the moment we are civil. I told him that this decision is totally up to him. I just haven't decided what I think about it yet. I do still want him to see her if he's going to make the effort.. but if he isn't then it would make it easier for me to shield her...

Quoting Rosehawk:

IF he terminates his paternal rights, you can deny him visitation becasue he will no longer, legally, be her father.

If the two of you split on good terms, I'd consider it.If the two of you split on bad terms, I'd let him do it, then deny him access. If he terminates his rights, he has no ground to stand on. 


susub88
by New Member on Mar. 31, 2014 at 2:40 AM

 If he really cared about being in her life he would do absolutley anything to make it possible including moving closer. You never know he may just forget abt her when you terminate his rights. He doesent have to be there all the time he could call her and make baby talk over the phone. Its the little things that counts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 31, 2014 at 4:24 AM

 

Quoting Basicrose:

I heard that even if you terminate parental rights of your child, you are still responsible to pay child support. Think about it.... if you terminated your rights so you didnt have to pay child support, wouldnt everyone do it??  No i havent looked it up so i dont know.

As far as visits after terminating your rights? Forget it! I wouldnt let him near her.

 

As far as visits after terminating your rights? Forget it! I wouldnt let him near her.

Why would you say that when the OP stated the father asked about terminating his rights so he could afford to visit the child? Obviously the man for whatever reason has little money but he doesn't seem to be a father who could care less about the child since he's expressed his desire to visit her. I don't know and you don't know why he's in the position he's in, but unlike you, I'm not so quick to judge the man as an uncaring father.  

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