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28 weeks pregnant with 1st child, and my husband wants to buy sports car

Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

Hi Moms and Moms-To-Be,

I am 28 weeks pregnant, and I just had an argument with my husband.  He told me he was unhappy, because he feels like I disapprove of him and his activities too much.  He said he would like me to be happy for him about what he likes and his passions, but he said lately, I've been more disapproving than before.

To make a long story short, my husband is an exotic car FANATIC in the truest sense.  When he was a bachelor, at one point, he had 6 cars in his collection.  According to my mother in law, he's always been a fanatic, even since he was a little boy.  My husband currently has a very nice exotic car (he got rid of the other 5 before we got married), that we will keep even after the baby arrives (since we will use my sedan as the baby car).  However, last night, he came across an ad for a rare sports car from the late 90's that he claims he's always dreamed of having.   I know that my husband really really loves this car, but I told him that I didn't think it was practical to buy a used sports car now with the baby coming, especially since he already has a very nice exotic car.  I don't think my husband was very happy with my reaction, which I think was the reason why he picked a fight with me tonight to ltell me that he was unhappy.

My husband and I have a joint account for our shared expenses, but he said that he will use his own money to buy this sports car.  

I feel really bad, because I feel like I am keeping him away from his dream car, but at the same time, I am upset and disappointed that he is even thinking and considering such an impracticle purchase before the birth of our first child. 

I would love to have any feedback from the ladies on this forum.  It was not a pleasnt fight, and a lot more were discussed than the car, and I would just like talk / vent and see if any other ladies have had similar experiences with their husbands?

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 8:28 AM
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Replies (1-6):
by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:30 AM

I guess it would really depend on if it was affordable for your family.  If you are financially able for him to buy his sports car, buy the things you need for baby, and still live comfortably, then what's the harm?  

If buying this car makes it to where you can't buy the things baby needs, pay the bills, groceries, etc.  Then he needs to suck it up, and hope money is better next time something like this comes around.  

by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:32 AM

If you guys can afford the purchase, why not?  Now if you can't then I would totally understand why you would be upset.

by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:36 AM

 I do think it is wise to wait until after the baby is born and you are sure all is well.  My first was a perfect preg. until the day he was born.  Long story short, 7 weeks in the hospital and 600K in bills.  If you can afford the car, just tell him to wait until after the birth.  The very FIRST lesson of parenthood is patience.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:38 AM

I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as you guys can afford it.

I don't see the harm.

This is a dream of his and you said he gave up 5 other cars. 

That's a lot to give up for a person.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:16 PM

Thank you for the input ladies.  

My husband says that he will use his own money to buy this car, and he can afford it.  I am upset because aside from wanting to get this car, he has also signed up and paid in advance for 1 full year of martial arts classes.

He enjoys these activities very much, and I have not asked him to stop, but he is aware of how I am worried about how his passions and activities will take time away from the baby.  I just didn't feel like it is the right now to commit himself to a new hobby and to buy a sports car, when we are expecting and getting ready for a baby.  Furthermore, we have discussed that we wanted to save as much money as possible, which was why we decided to use my sedan as the baby car, instead of getting a minivan.  I feel that his recent actions suggest that he is not really aware of how much time and energy a newborn will be, and how much it will affect our every day lives.   Furthermore, he is very gung-ho when it comes to fulfilling his passions, but I wished that I saw some same initiative when it comes to preparing the nursery, signing up for prenatal classes, planning our babymoon, and so on.  All these, I have done myself.

I think I just need to communicate more with my husband and to try to talk to him and hopefully make him aware of my concerns as well as ask him what he needs to feel fulfilled.

Thank you again for your input, ladies.  I really appreciate it!  

by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:47 PM

I'd be kind of mad too though. Even though it's his passion, I would think it was a bit selfish. But that's just me.

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