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in reply to the nasty comments about my post "I wish my son was normal"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 37 Replies
9 moms liked this

Well, I never expected to recieve such feedback. I was just venting at the moment. But, I want to take the time to address the nasty ones who have said that I dont love my son, shame on you, how dare you, selfish, I really dont accept my son and hordes of other comments.

For one, I love my son with all my heart. Maybe if other people took the time to read my other posts on there they would have seen my replys. I wouldnt trade him for the world. Ever. He is my world. When I said "normal" i was refering to kids in general. My son isnt normal. How is that bad to say? Its a fact. Does that make me love him less? NO. I love him so much.

Only, if you have walked in my shoes would you understand. Its so easy to judge from the outside looking in. Its so easy to sit behind a computer and post hateful things. Its so easy to assume something of someone else.

For the people that say that I was being selfish: Really? How so? Who doesnt want to hear an I love you? Who doesnt want to see their child play with others? It breaks my heart when I see him crawling around the house and  getting into things because he cant play with others. He cant just go outside and jump on the trampoline. He cant just go sit on the grass because he likes to eat it and God knows whats in that dirt. Granted, he does play in it with supervision. But, the time i have for that is very little. It breaks my heart that we couldnt take him to disney land with us because he woudnt enjoy it. Loud noises bother him. He hates the Happy Birthday song, sirens, vacuums, clapping. The sounds that you take for granted, that dont bother your child, bother mine. I feel incomplete when we cant take him with us. Not to mention the house. You take for granted the beautiful end tables, nick nacks, book shelves and other nice things in the living room. You walk into mine and its bare. I cant have that stuff. So, tell me again how selfish I am?

For the people that say that I dont accept my son: How so? Did I ever mention that I dont accept him? Does venting about how I'm tired of changing diapers traslate to I dont accept him? Of course I accept him. He is my baby boy. It would be nice to not have to wipe poop off of walls, to not change diapers anymore. It would be nice if he could go like other people. But, he cant. For all you that say, "Just deal with it". I do. You could never deal with what I deal with. People that say "Just deal with it" are some of the most heartless people and Im thankful that you dont have a special child becuase you couldnt deal with it. How is it wrong to just vent? To just whine a litte? So, since I'm a grown up and a mother, I am forbidden to complain? Forgive me for being human.

For the 'Shame on yous" and 'How dare yous": Yes, shame on me for posting on a site that is for venting. Shame on me for not crying in front of my kids. Shame on me for posting quietly so I can go back to my duties. I needed to vent. I needed an outlet. I dont have one. I think it should be shame on you people for being so heartless and rude.

 I love all my children equally. God has given me this child for a purpose. But, sometimes it is a heavy burden. I pray and ask God for strength. He gives it abundantly. But, sometimes, I need to complain. If i cant and just keep it inside and pretend that nothing is wrong, how is that healthy? I dont like it when people say "God doesnt give you more than you can handle". Im sure that is true but that doesnt really help. Put yourself in my shoes and tell yourself that. Sometimes, I feel like I cant handle it. And the other saying that I hear a lot is "youre a hero or a super mom". I'm just a regular mom like you. I dont pretend to be a hero or a super mom. I do what I have to do just like you.

My heart breaks for my son. I love him so much. I often am afraid of what would happen to him when we die. Who would take care of him like we do? Who would put all their love and time into caring for him like we do? When I said something about why my sisters having "normal" kids and why I couldnt I guess I shouldve explained myself more. You see, they can take their family to a movie night, dinner, to the fair, to the store...and so on. They get to take all their kids. We cant. I wish that we could take him with us to places like that. So, yes, I guess I get a littel envious at times wishing we could all go as a family too sometimes. I wish my son could enjoy "How to train your dragon". That was a cool family movie. My mother in law watched him so we could take the other kids. That sucked. And with the whole respite thing. Yes, he is going to get that soon. But it frightens me. My son cant speak. What if someone hits him? what if someone yells at him? These are the things that go through my mind. You hear horror stories about that kind of stuff.

Just because I write on here that I am tired doesnt mean i am tired of him. I do talk a lot about all the good things. Its the hard stuff you cant talk about openly because of course people think you are being hearltess, or selfish or they will remind you again that God doesnt give you more than you can handle when in fact, at the time, you just feel like breaking down. 

You can think what you want of me. It doesnt change that fact that I love my son.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
redhead-bedhead
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:44 PM
1 mom liked this

hugs

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:50 PM
3 moms liked this

I don't understand the negative comments. I didn't read through the post but replied with a "Thank You" for your honesty. Of course you love your son. Of course you want to here a reciprocated "I love you". Of course you accept him for who he is. It is ridiculous for someone to claim otherwise. You are entitled to vent, feel worn down and question why. It is completely understandable and I don't have to walk a mile in your shoes to get it. It is common sense.

I'm sorry some people can be assholes. *sigh*

((Hugs))

 

Mommyzlovez
by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:53 PM
1 mom liked this
So sorry some moms on here are so heartless hugs momma. :-)
LDavis33
by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry.  I wish people would try to be more understanding and less judgemental.  I can't begin to imagine what it is like to have to watch your son go through all of that.  I know you probably don't hear this too often so thank you for having the strength and love to care for your son, despite the hardships and heartbreak.

Willie24622
by Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 5:59 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm so sorry that the "Sanctimommies" and water walkers of CM were so nasty. This is a place where you should be able to vent. There is NOTHING wrong with wishing he had an easer life. There is nothing wrong with thinking that this is the place to come to get a few pats on the back. You are an amazing mom. What makes you even more amazing is realizing that you aren't perfect and you are human. There are a lot of amazing moms here who will raise you up and help you out. Unfortunately there are some serious assholes who do nothing but sit on their computers and make nasty comments. They belong in middle school, you my dear are an adult. That is why you can't relate. I hope your week gets better. 

welovec
by New Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry momma, there are rude ppl here no matter what you post. Hang in there and tell them where to shove it. You can't take what most of these ppl say to heart, I mean have you seen some of these idiotic post. Honestly I believe that 95% of the time they are just trying to get your feather fluffed up. And you can always pm me if you need to vent, no judging here, I don't know that I could do what you are doing.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:19 PM
2 moms liked this

They are  assholes who must have no damn clue what it is to have a son like that  therefore they can shut the f up. You can vent who would not it is hard, He will not do what a normal kid can do does that make you love him less no,but it makes craphard at times wondering what he could be if not for what he has . I am sorry there where nasty people freaking amazes me on this site. we come to vent to seek help and people get bashed when they probably not be able to handle a son like yours.

Zombie_Mombie
by New Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:23 PM
1 mom liked this
It is okay to vent. Let it out :D
nanny1918
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry you received negative replies.
It was obvious in your post you needed to vent and you needed more support. Of course you love and cherish your son. I wonder how many mothers on CM could handle your situation as well as you do, not many I'm sure.
DaBuzz
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 6:37 PM
2 moms liked this

I understand what you mean. I'm sorry people on here cannot understand and EMPATHIZE with you rather than calling you nasty names and demeaning you.

I understand that you mean you wish he was like other kids and could do things other kids do and take for granted. That's not a bad thing, you love him and want the best for him. I'm not sure how anyone can not understand a mother's love for her child and wishing the very best for him/her.

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