My ex is getting married and our kids aren't invited?!
My ex husband and I divorced in 2004 when our kids were 1 and 2. Besides being young and dumb, he clearly wasn't ready to be committed to anything - wife, children, job, etc. Fast forward 10 years later, I have been remarried to an amazing man and we have a 2 year old in addition to my older two who are now almost 11 and 12.
In 2008, we moved two states away which basically put my ex-husbands visitation time to spring break, a few weeks in the summer, a week over Christmas, and every other Thanksgiving, but he can come visit them on any 1st or 3rd weekend if he gives me a week notice. Well, over the course of the past 6 years, he's visited them maybe 5 times - and I paid for a hotel for him each of those times. We've had to go back to court twice over child support and over visitation - basically shortening it in the summer - the kids were NOT happy and as they got older, they got involved in activities that they didn't want to miss.
He has, of course, been through a multitude of women, and relatively recently, got back together with a former girlfriend and moved into her place - (as much as I think this lady is crazy for wanting to be with him, she's really nice to my kids and makes sure they are taken care of when they are visiting). Today, my ex called my kids and told them he and his GF are getting married next month ON MY DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY which is on a Monday, knowing that there is no way they could attend any wedding. My son is "hurt and confused" as to why he wouldn't just wait until they could be there, but my daughter is devastated because they 'promised' her she could be in the wedding and also because she feels like now their anniversary is going to 'take over' her birthday.
When my husband (who has a daughter from his previous marriage) and I married, we made it a point to make it a ceremony about becoming a family - the kids were a big part of it (we even did vows to our children). I can't imagine why on earth they would want to get married and not share it with the kids! Of course, we certainly have different outlooks on life which is why he is an ex, but come on. Common sense here.
Should I even bother saying something to him? He doesn't really take anything I have to say seriously - I think his narcissism makes every interaction with me into some kind of 'war battle' which someone has to win...what do I even say to my kids?! Anything? Or should I continue to let him hang himself with his own rope as he's slowly been doing over the years despite my continued effort to try to make things good for my kids' sake?