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My sister is leaving her husband and we feel awkward, wwyd? *up date, it even worse now"*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My sister and her man have been together almost 10 years now, they had a kid the exact same age as mine and my hubby's child.  We do a lot of things together, her family and my family, we just went on a two week vacation 3 months ago.

She decided to leave her DH and told me 2 weeks ago, last weekend our family was meeting her at the movies, with her kid, she brought her new boyfriend!  Without even telling us in advance that he was coming, keep in mind she still lives with her hubby!  My sister is just turning 40, this new man in her life is 30.  Our kids wanted to sit by me, so they did and he threw popcorn at the kids during the whole movie!  Even hitting me a few times, arg he is so immature!  I really liked my brother in law, so this is going to be hard enough as it is, but bringing her new man to the family events, its just awkward for us, and confusing to my 6 year old.

Well she keeps telling me that she is not leaving her hubby for this guy, but really?  Why would I believe that?  She brought him to the movies where they were all over each other and he threw popcorn on our kids.  I mean what am I suppose to think??

My hubby and I just feel awkward in this whole thing, I would never tell my sister who she has to be with, but I just think this whole thing is wrong, but still trying not to judge her for what she is doing.

Now I am just worried she is going to bring him to our Easter Family Dinner, where even more young kids will be confused on who he is and where is their cousins daddy

WWYD??

Update

ok my sister got her own place, moved a couple days ago, Easter is at our other sisters house, she told my other sister that she can bring her new boyfriend, now i am not spending Easter with my family, just too awkward, it's not like she has been single for even a whole week, 

Another Update, 

She came and he didn't.  Come to find out they live together now, they got a place together less then a week ago.  She has been married for almost 9 years, she doesn't understand why we are not accepting her "new relationship" - well I think the fact that her and her hubby just went on a very nice 2 week vacation at the end of March might have somethiing to do with the fmaily not liking the whole "new relationship!"  She came back with only good things to say about it.  But my older daughter told me that she has been having an affair with this guy for about 8 months.   Now I am just not happy with her, she has kids, they have kids!  one not even in school yet, so young, she just turned her kids life upside down and tore their family apart

I want to thank everyone for the post, good to know I am not crazy for feeling the way that I do

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 19, 2014 at 1:03 AM
Replies (11-20):
KRIZZ25
Report
sex is not most important ..infect its not important at all .its a function like going bath room.only u can live wth out it.
Yesterday at 7:58 PM
by on Apr. 19, 2014 at 7:05 PM
sounds to me like she has anew toy and is showing it off .u need have chat wth her ,bl..tell him .he needs to know whats coming after all that time,jmo
KRIZZ25
Report
sex is not most important ..infect its not important at all .its a function like going bath room.only u can live wth out it.
Yesterday at 7:58 PM
by on Apr. 19, 2014 at 7:06 PM
or and tell her no mean allowed around ur fam till she is divorced and its been at least 2 years
caro100
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 3:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Re update:  I don't blame you for just staying away.  Your sister is behaving badly.  You can still have a great  Easter.  Make it your own this year.  Bunny butt pancakes and all.  Remember  we qre celebrating our savior has risen today.  He was all about forgiveness, while holding people accountable.

DixieL
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 6:01 AM

It sounds like she was already with him, before she decided to leave her husband. It's really hard for family members, when they like they bil, and it's even more hard for the kids. I don't think she is being fair. She should at least wait for a while, before she brings them around your family. He does sound very immature. It sounds like she left her husband for a much younger guy. Throwing popcorn at the kids, and hitting you, makes me know he is not grown up. Who knows if and when he will.

NDADanceMom
by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 7:37 AM

My step sister hasnt been allowed to family dinner with her boyfriend since the identical thing happened here!  that was 5 years ago and she is divorced now.  Nobody wants the boyfriend around anyway.  The immature stuff ended up being drunk stuff.  Hes an alcoholic.  Shes allowed to come on her own but she wont because she doesnt want to exclude her man.  A week ago he smashed up all her dead mothers collectibles and she still wont come to easter without him.  Its pretty sad.  We have the X come over because he brings the kids (she lost custody when she went to pick the little one up from school and was pulled over for her 5th DWI).  

I dont really have a say in if she is invited or not.  Its my moms house that hosts, my moms husband that decided not to allow his daughter over and her brothers that dont want her around.  

fudgybuddymom
by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 8:02 AM

My best friend is in the beginning stages of a divorce from her husband of near 20 yrs. He was emotionally abusive & cheated on her for yrs. Well she just met this guy on-line 1 month ago & has decided he is her bf. I don't like him cause he hurt my late hubby yrs ago by stealing a gr8 deal of money from him. My in-laws have even told me he uses (they are cousins) women for money & then dumps them when he gets what he wants. After one date he asked to borrow $500 from my friend! She doesn't believe what I have told her about him & now the guy is coming to Easter dinner with us & the rest of the family. My friend & this man are all over each other already & per her 18 yr old daughter have already slept together. It makes me very uncomfortable  as it does my daughter. I don't know how her family feels about this yet. I hope they are not all over each other at dinner. I will be civil to him & I don't say anymore about him to my friend cause she's "in love". I just feel really badly that she is going down this road so quickly with a man she barely knows just cause she doesn't want to be alone! She isn't even divorced yet! Forgive my rant please I am just worried for her because of what I know from my hubby & his family,maybe they are wrong & he will turn out to be a good guy after all. But what do you say to an 18 yr old who does not know of my family's hx with this man says"I get a bad feeling @ this"?

ABCMomma0211
by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 8:14 AM

Do any of you women know how to use "husband, S/O, boyfriend, bf?" 

Instead of using "my man, her man." that sounds ghetto and trashy

MrsBx
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 10:47 AM
3 moms liked this

What she does in the privacy of her own home, is her business. But in your home, that's totally up to you. Personally, I would tell her that her bf is not invited. If she can't be without him while visiting her family (and she probably won't) then so be it. She needs to learn that boundaries exist in all relationships and if she cannot impress upon her new man that common courtesy and maturity are expected of him, then he is not welcome. As far as her ex, you can still be involved with him if you do enjoy his company. Just not when she's around. It sounds like your sister is trying to make the ex jealous.  Flaunting her "new man" in front of mutual family members that are part of a blended family is in poor taste and shouldn't be tolerated.  What about the next man she meets?  Nip this in the bud before it gets more uncomfortable.  Blended families are tricky but personally, I think if it makes you or your children uncomfortable to be around anyone, they are not invited. You do not need to play host to people or situations that cause you or your family any angst.

On another note, in regards to bringing a man into a household where an 18 year old daughter lives, veto that plan. My daughter is 18 and there has never been a time where I thought it appropriate to allow a man to spend any time in our home.  Frankly, after one marriage that has been over, I do not look forward to having another man consume my every waking moment again. I wouldn't trust any man to live in my house when a young female also lives there.  It's her house, too and she would never feel comfortable running around the house in skimpy clothing. I must say it's incredibly freeing to be able to wear or not wear whatever I want without being told to lose a few pounds, having my body ravaged or put up with some kind of unwanted physical advancement from the male person in the house.  Men can be so annoying.

vegana
by New Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell her that she can do whatever she wants with her own life but to keep that stupidity to her self and away from your family
BaronSamedi
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this

It is not as awkward as you are making it.  She has a new BF but you like the soon to be ex.  That's understandable but she is your sister so that is the primary relationship.

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