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Livid!!! Sorry your kid isn't "normal"

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:20 AM
  • 315 Replies
51 moms liked this
I just saw a post by a mother who admitted to starting the process of putting her DD up for adoption because she was diagnosed with autism. She listed the issues her DD was having and how she is stressed and can't take it anymore because she has other "normal" children and her sanity to look after.

Well I'm sorry that your "normal" children and you can't handle lifes imperfections but that is just rediculous.

I myself have Borderline personality disorder and have been in the recovery process for four years now. I was placed for adoption as an infant because my bio mom didn't have the means to raise a kid. My adoptive mom was at her wits ends with me, but she never gave up on me. I don't know where I'd be with out her. My sister also has bi polar and very high functioning autism. Once again, she was adopted BC her bio mom was 14 and couldn't raise her. And once again no matter how hard it is, my mom hasn't given up.

I am livid at this mother for just giving up because its an inconvenience to her to not have a "normal" child. I know its difficult to raise a child with special needs, but this kid needs her mom. She's at the point where she knows who mommy and daddy are and it could really hurt her to be adopted else where. All that aside, HOW THE HELL CAN YOU JUST DISCARD YOUR CHILD?!?! I don't care how difficult the situation, I could NEVER just leave my child because it was hard to raise her.

I know I might get a lot of crap for being pissed at this mom and for ranting about the post but I needed to say something. I don't think I'm alone in my feelings. At least I hope I'm not.
by on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DanaG70
by Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:27 AM
58 moms liked this

It would probably be best for the child to be put up for adoption than to force somebody to raise the child, which could cause resentment toword the child. Which could lead to abuse or neglect. Or both.
Momofmenagerie
by on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:31 AM
7 moms liked this
" normal" is a setting on a washing machine.

I won't bash you. When you give birth to a child, keep that child for a number of years instead of putting them in the system when born...., you made the commitment to be their parent forever.


I didn't catch that post , I do hope she was a troll. You don 't give kids away like kittens.

I wonder if she bothered looking at the supports!?
ZoeCatheryn
by Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:31 AM
4 moms liked this
She will be bounced from foster home to foster home till the government kicks her out on her own at 18. Then she'll most likely end up in a shelter or more probable on the streets because she hadn't gotten the help she's needed.

Quoting DanaG70:
It would probably be best for the child to be put up for adoption than to force somebody to raise the child, which could cause resentment toword the child. Which could lead to abuse or neglect. Or both.
ZoeCatheryn
by Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:34 AM
2 moms liked this
I hadn't had time to look through all the comments but I had seen her say that she just didn't have the money to spend on therapy or that sort of thing. She needs to file for social security disability so that she can get the help her daughter needs. That being said I absolutely agree with you.

Quoting Momofmenagerie: " normal" is a setting on a washing machine.

I won't bash you. When you give birth to a child, keep that child for a number of years instead of putting them in the system when born...., you made the commitment to be their parent forever.


I didn't catch that post , I do hope she was a troll. You don 't give kids away like kittens.

I wonder if she bothered looking at the supports!?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:38 AM
24 moms liked this
If the mom can't handle her do you want her to break at some point and abuse or even accidently kill her child? She's admitting she can't give her DD what she needs and putting her up for adoption is giving her the best chance at a better life.
its cruel to you but would be even crueler to keep a child she isn't capable of raising.
DanaG70
by Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:42 AM
5 moms liked this
If the child is as autistic as the mother says she is, she'll probably end up in a home that equipped to take care of her rather than into foster homes.

Quoting ZoeCatheryn: She will be bounced from foster home to foster home till the government kicks her out on her own at 18. Then she'll most likely end up in a shelter or more probable on the streets because she hadn't gotten the help she's needed.

Quoting DanaG70:
It would probably be best for the child to be put up for adoption than to force somebody to raise the child, which could cause resentment toword the child. Which could lead to abuse or neglect. Or both.
FIREMANSWIFE911
by New Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:54 AM
67 moms liked this

My daughter has autism. She could not read. She could not distinguish colors. She could not repeat things I said. She could not potty train. The daycare would not allow her in the 4 yr. old class bc she had to wear a diaper. She could not speak. She would grunt. She would point. She indulged in self harm out of frustration. She went to Doctors. She was diagnosed. She has a GREAT mom who refused to give up on her. ME!!! and I am not just a momma bear. I am "the" GRIZZLY of all MOTHER BEARS!!!! I"m much harder on her than I would have been had she not had autism. I tell her who are NOT autistic, you have autism. Just like Grandpa has diabtetes. It is no different. It does not define her. It is just something she has like so many others. It is a part of her, but it is NOT her. She struggled in school. A LOT. She was given an IEP. Teachers gave up on her. They put her in the corner bc there were language barrier issues not worth their time to overcome with her. She was not worth their time. Her biological father abandoned her. Cast her off as the stupid kid. He went and had 2 more kids and showered them with gifts and child support. He gave no child support to his child with autism. The woman he has kids with said she hoped their kids didn't turn out to be as ugly and stupid as my daughter. That little girl with Autism struggled for years. She learned to speak. She learned to speak in complete sentences. She competed in a spelling bee. 2 as a matter of fact. She learned to sing. She discovered that she loved art. She loves butterflies. She just started 9th grade and is now in High School. She is no longer in a special ed class. The school considers her "too advanced" for that class so she is now "mainstreamed". She is in the same classes as the other kids but she gets additional help from a teacher assistant at times. She can work a computer better than i can. She is taking Algebra. ...Did you hear that??? ALGEBRA!!! And she is NOT failing!!! She has all B's and some A's!!! She was always pretty yet she is a knockout. I do her makeup and she learns techniques. She is a true head turner. She is gorgeous. She is smart. She has overcome so much. I never gave up on her. She got mad at me a lot, and that's ok. She understands now. I have explained to her why I was so hard on her. 

By the way, my fun fact to tell people...how hard was it for you to learn to ride a bike? For me, I tried for what seemed like forever with great difficulty. I didn't think I would ever get my training wheels off. 

My daughter who has autism? The first time she EVER even sat on a bike with no training wheels, off she went. The first time, she rode beautifullly. We helped stabilize her for a bit and then let go and BAM...perfection.  How awesome. 

Zoe- you re not alone. My ex gave up on my daughter. She hates him for it. She refuses contact with him. She actually told him he was the devil. She knows who has been there for her and who hasn't. With love and patience, any child can transform. 

supastars
by Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 3:59 AM
It's a horrible situation smh
GirlWithANikon
by Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 4:22 AM
5 moms liked this

its pretty terrible. but don't be livid with her for knowing her limits. its better she do that than we read about  her arrest  for having starvedthe child while it being locked in a closet some place. And was there not just a post where a "normal" child was so hurt at mom missing life's most important events to be with an autistic brother? Shes doing what she thinks is best I guess. Its hard for everyone, its not easy for her I am going to guarantee. She will have that weight on her shoulders as long as she lives. I would not waste your time being livid with people. Either help them or let them be and move on unaffected. Shes only human, all humans have limits and she feels it is in the best interest of her other children. While going to dinner is not important, the violence and the environmentit creates for the other children is a big deal. She is not fit to help this child and the otehr children are being poorly and strongly effected because of it.

Canadiana
by New Member on Apr. 30, 2014 at 6:44 AM
2 moms liked this

 How do you know she won't be adopted?  Believe me, if she TPR's, and the child is young, she will be adopted, special needs or not... And I have to agree, it's very very sad, but she shouldn't have to grow up with a mother who feels that way about her!

Quoting ZoeCatheryn: She will be bounced from foster home to foster home till the government kicks her out on her own at 18. Then she'll most likely end up in a shelter or more probable on the streets because she hadn't gotten the help she's needed.
Quoting DanaG70: It would probably be best for the child to be put up for adoption than to force somebody to raise the child, which could cause resentment toword the child. Which could lead to abuse or neglect. Or both.

 

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