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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

Thank you is offensive??

Posted by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:15 AM
  • 59 Replies
So last night at work there was a big cluster fuck... And my coworker and I were discussing how it went afterwards... He and I agreed that it went well, and I thanked him for thinking to do something I had forgotten to do. I meant this as a legitimate compliment and testament to his attention to detail while under stress.

He got offended that I thanked him and said he felt it was condescending for me to thank him for doing his job.

What?? Does anyone else get offended by someone saying Thank You? (Was not sarcastic tone or anything)
by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Macphee
by New Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:16 AM
I see how he may have felt as if you were patronizing him.

But you were trying to show appreciation, so he just took it the wrong way.
Nyk1187
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Why is that (patronizing)? I honestly don't get it here. I don't think I've ever been offended by a sincere thank you...

Quoting Macphee: I see how he may have felt as if you were patronizing him.

But you were trying to show appreciation, so he just took it the wrong way.
Momsold
by on May. 9, 2014 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this

Why the gender generalization?  It has nothing to do with men....

And no, no one I know, with two ounches of brain power, would get offended at saying thank you.

Nyk1187
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:35 AM
My coworker is male in this scenario... So the "ugh..men.." Comment was just that... I'm frustrated with a male's response to something. This post wasn't meant as a commentary on the entire male gender. Just venting :)

Quoting Momsold:

Why the gender generalization?  It has nothing to do with men....

And no, no one I know, with two ounches of brain power, would get offended at saying thank you.

Traci_Momof2
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:05 AM
3 moms liked this

People get offended by the strangest things.

I remember the first time I ever used a laundromat.  I was a teen and I was unfamiliar with how the machines worked.  When it came time to put my stuff in the dryer I could not for the life of me figure out how to get the door to latch and therefore get the dryer to work.  There was one other guy in there at the time.  So I went toward him saying "Sir?" a couple times to get his attention and then kindly asked him "Sir, can you please help me with this dryer?  I can't figure out how to get it to work."  He proceeded to, in an annoyed manner, grab the dryer door, close it properly and get it started.  Then he said to me in a very stern voice "Don't ever call me sir!"

I was flabbergasted.  I never imagined that 'sir' could be an offensive title.  Not to mention that he was a complete stranger to me.  How am I supposed to know who expects 'sir' vs who is offended by 'sir' just by looking at them?

Just can't win.

Nyk1187
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this
I hear you!!! I get the "why did you call me sir/ma'am?? Do you think I'm old??" now and then... "Um... No. But I don't know your name so I thought sir/ma'am was more polite than HEY YOU!"

:)

Quoting Traci_Momof2:

People get offended by the strangest things.

I remember the first time I ever used a laundromat.  I was a teen and I was unfamiliar with how the machines worked.  When it came time to put my stuff in the dryer I could not for the life of me figure out how to get the door to latch and therefore get the dryer to work.  There was one other guy in there at the time.  So I went toward him saying "Sir?" a couple times to get his attention and then kindly asked him "Sir, can you please help me with this dryer?  I can't figure out how to get it to work."  He proceeded to, in an annoyed manner, grab the dryer door, close it properly and get it started.  Then he said to me in a very stern voice "Don't ever call me sir!"

I was flabbergasted.  I never imagined that 'sir' could be an offensive title.  Not to mention that he was a complete stranger to me.  How am I supposed to know who expects 'sir' vs who is offended by 'sir' just by looking at them?

Just can't win.

LaurenCalt
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:10 AM

Sounds like tensions were just high.  You guys were going through hell at work and he was probably just pissy.  You could have said "popsicle" to him - he may have been offended.

Don't take it personally and wait a day or two before reapproaching him.  Or just squash it.  Water under the bridge!

Nyk1187
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:16 AM
He's over it.. We work closely with one another under high stress situations often, and pissing each other off is not uncommon. But we don't hold grudges.

I posted this because I thought this particular thing was so bizarre to be upset about and wanted opinions.

You're probably right, though - his reaction probably had a lot more to do with everything else that was going on than it had to do with what was actually said. He got in ego mode and lost common sense for a second.

Quoting LaurenCalt:

Sounds like tensions were just high.  You guys were going through hell at work and he was probably just pissy.  You could have said "popsicle" to him - he may have been offended.


Don't take it personally and wait a day or two before reapproaching him.  Or just squash it.  Water under the bridge!

Nyk1187
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:17 AM
1 mom liked this
Fortunately, too, his 4 day weekend starts today and mine starts tomorrow... So it'll be 5 days before we are in the same room. Plenty of time to forget this conversation ever happened.

Quoting LaurenCalt:

Sounds like tensions were just high.  You guys were going through hell at work and he was probably just pissy.  You could have said "popsicle" to him - he may have been offended.


Don't take it personally and wait a day or two before reapproaching him.  Or just squash it.  Water under the bridge!

nurse1997
by on May. 9, 2014 at 1:31 PM

What do u do ???

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