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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

The Story of The Hair Cut

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
Here goes:
I have been a single mothers for some years, then I got married. Prior to marriage I was use to doing things for my child on my own as I did not have a choice anyhow. There are certain things that I have had in place for some time now, such as the school he goes to. (Of course) and the barber shop he goes to. Yesterday I mentioned to my husband that my son needed a haircut in which he volunteered to take him (keep in mind he's has taken him for a haircut before and the barber cut my son bad enough across his forehead)... So I said to him (in a sweet, calm, endearing voice), would you please take him to his barber. Zee is comfortable going to him, the barber knows Zee )he's been going there for 2years now)... Please don't get to improvising (but again, my attitude was good and I was not speaking to him with any sarcasm) and take him wherever... I'd be at ease knowing his barber cut his hair... His reply was he'll think about it, then he chuckled... Later on that evening, we spoke over the phone and I asked him to give me a time frame for arriving at the barber... His reply was, what do you mean? I said so you won't be waiting on a long line and i could call the barber to have a spot open... He immediately started spazzin out with "I don't need your help to get him a haircut... If I wanted it, I would have asked you!"... So I'm like wait a minute, what's the attitude for. I said, you never asked me where the barber was so how would you know how to get there.. His reply was, I don't need to know how to get there... I'll take him wherever I please etcetera... Keep in mind, I'm Zee's Mom.. I KNOW that I gave a right to know where my child is going and/or where he's been... He's out if town at the moment BUT I refuse to speak to him until he sees me or calls me to apologize for his behavior... Mind you! We we're suppose to be going on a family outing this weekend and I wanted my son to have a fresh cut, well that didn't happen BUT he expects me to travel with him anyway and just suck it up... Please tell me... Do you think I am wrong? Would you speak to him prior to apologizing? I'm not, but I'm just curious.. I have found it hard to rest... He just ruined my Mothers Day weekend... A part of me feels like he did it on purpose bc he really wAnted to do something else this weekend ... #two cents please :) lol
Posted by Anonymous on May. 9, 2014 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NDADanceMom
by on May. 9, 2014 at 10:12 PM
Well to me he seems like a jerk.
As far as haircuts? My husband is the kids father and i let him handle things the way he wants. If he asks i tell him the info he wants but usually, like me, he figures it out on his own. If you expect this man to be the father I'd let him handle things on his own. The boy gets a crappy haircut? Meh, it happens and it grows back.
That passive aggressive crap you think your husband is doing? That's a problem.
schatzi869
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 10:15 PM
Take your kid to the barber and get his hair cut. Then go on your trip. Why does something so petty have to ruin Mother's Day?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 9, 2014 at 10:20 PM
The trip has everything to do with him... We were going to his nieces graduation who doesn't care for me anyway. I was going strictly bc of him. I feel like he started an argument bc he didn't want to spend money for Mother's Day... If I take him to get the haircut and follow through with the travels, later on, I will have a bigger problem. We're dealing with EGO. As much as it might seem petty, it's not in a sense that he was disrespectful to me. I don't take disrespect kindly... Just like children, he has to learn...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 9, 2014 at 10:26 PM
It's a longer story than this, but I tired to simplify it... I can't trust him to get a haircut... If it makes ME HAPPY, why not just do it. He was going against me to be spiteful... It made him feel like more of a man to say "I'll take him where I feel like it and if I wanted you to know, I'd tell you". I have lots of experience with children, he has NONE. I'm trying to teach him something... SMH

Quoting NDADanceMom: Well to me he seems like a jerk.
As far as haircuts? My husband is the kids father and i let him handle things the way he wants. If he asks i tell him the info he wants but usually, like me, he figures it out on his own. If you expect this man to be the father I'd let him handle things on his own. The boy gets a crappy haircut? Meh, it happens and it grows back.
That passive aggressive crap you think your husband is doing? That's a problem.
NDADanceMom
by on May. 9, 2014 at 10:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Yikes! If you needs to train your hubby and treat him like a child your relationship is doomed. May as well get out now.

Quoting Anonymous: The trip has everything to do with him... We were going to his nieces graduation who doesn't care for me anyway. I was going strictly bc of him. I feel like he started an argument bc he didn't want to spend money for Mother's Day... If I take him to get the haircut and follow through with the travels, later on, I will have a bigger problem. We're dealing with EGO. As much as it might seem petty, it's not in a sense that he was disrespectful to me. I don't take disrespect kindly... Just like children, he has to learn...
NDADanceMom
by on May. 9, 2014 at 10:29 PM
Can i ask, do you think that's normal? For a man to be spiteful? Why marry someone like that?

Quoting Anonymous: It's a longer story than this, but I tired to simplify it... I can't trust him to get a haircut... If it makes ME HAPPY, why not just do it. He was going against me to be spiteful... It made him feel like more of a man to say "I'll take him where I feel like it and if I wanted you to know, I'd tell you". I have lots of experience with children, he has NONE. I'm trying to teach him something... SMH

Quoting NDADanceMom: Well to me he seems like a jerk.
As far as haircuts? My husband is the kids father and i let him handle things the way he wants. If he asks i tell him the info he wants but usually, like me, he figures it out on his own. If you expect this man to be the father I'd let him handle things on his own. The boy gets a crappy haircut? Meh, it happens and it grows back.
That passive aggressive crap you think your husband is doing? That's a problem.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 9, 2014 at 10:36 PM
It is certainly not normal... I'm not speaking to him as of now... I am doing some heavy thinking... But thank you so much for responding... I was starting to think that I was overreacting...

Quoting NDADanceMom: Can i ask, do you think that's normal? For a man to be spiteful? Why marry someone like that?

Quoting Anonymous: It's a longer story than this, but I tired to simplify it... I can't trust him to get a haircut... If it makes ME HAPPY, why not just do it. He was going against me to be spiteful... It made him feel like more of a man to say "I'll take him where I feel like it and if I wanted you to know, I'd tell you". I have lots of experience with children, he has NONE. I'm trying to teach him something... SMH

Quoting NDADanceMom: Well to me he seems like a jerk.
As far as haircuts? My husband is the kids father and i let him handle things the way he wants. If he asks i tell him the info he wants but usually, like me, he figures it out on his own. If you expect this man to be the father I'd let him handle things on his own. The boy gets a crappy haircut? Meh, it happens and it grows back.
That passive aggressive crap you think your husband is doing? That's a problem.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 9, 2014 at 11:15 PM
1 mom liked this

He probably went off more because you were treating him like an idiot than because he didn't want to spend money on you. It is a freaking hair cut. Unless your son is SN and freaks over new experiences why would you spend so much of your time nit picking your husband? If you are going to trust him to do something than do that, if you want to hold his hand and call him so that you can make the appt, and double check that he was taking him to the right place, and I'm sure you reminded him to wipe his butt in there somewhere... what the hell is the point? You are married to him, you are supposed to be expecting him to be half of your relationship, yet you are acting more like his domineering mother.

Purgatorian
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2014 at 12:04 AM

Yeah. I'm going to have to agree with this one. You're micromanaging your husband.  Is this really a battle you want to fight?

Oh and your refusing to speak with him until he apologizes or comes around to your side is passive aggressive on YOUR end to. Just keep that in mind.

It's a haircut. If it goes bad,eh it will grow back. Unless your child is some high paid model or spokesperson for a company it is not really that big of a deal.

Its...hair.

Quoting Anonymous:

He probably went off more because you were treating him like an idiot than because he didn't want to spend money on you. It is a freaking hair cut. Unless your son is SN and freaks over new experiences why would you spend so much of your time nit picking your husband? If you are going to trust him to do something than do that, if you want to hold his hand and call him so that you can make the appt, and double check that he was taking him to the right place, and I'm sure you reminded him to wipe his butt in there somewhere... what the hell is the point? You are married to him, you are supposed to be expecting him to be half of your relationship, yet you are acting more like his domineering mother.

 

~~"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." -Buddha~~

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 10, 2014 at 7:36 AM
You're missing the point. My son has a barber already.. This is where he's been going. Why try to change it up, just for the hell of it... ??? Just to say, I did what the hell I wanted... That doesn't make sense... I don't know about you but, I don't just go anywhere to get my hair done. Just bc he is a boy, doesn't make it any less important! I never boss him or even try... I trusted him to take him where I asked him to. I didn't demand it. I asked him in a nurturing type if way... I don't initiate any type of direction with anger, yet, his response was inappropriate... If you knew him, you'd know he needs direction... He doesn't go to the barber shop.. He can't grow hair... Anyway, You've misunderstood the point, but I appreciate your two-cents :)

Quoting Anonymous:

He probably went off more because you were treating him like an idiot than because he didn't want to spend money on you. It is a freaking hair cut. Unless your son is SN and freaks over new experiences why would you spend so much of your time nit picking your husband? If you are going to trust him to do something than do that, if you want to hold his hand and call him so that you can make the appt, and double check that he was taking him to the right place, and I'm sure you reminded him to wipe his butt in there somewhere... what the hell is the point? You are married to him, you are supposed to be expecting him to be half of your relationship, yet you are acting more like his domineering mother.

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