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Am I wrong for choosing her as my Maid of Honor?

Posted by on May. 10, 2014 at 1:00 AM
  • 12 Replies

Good evening. I am feeling quite torn on this issue so here it goes.  I recently became engaged to the love of my life! We decided to wait at least two years before tying the knot because we both want to finish college, plus it gives me time to plan. I an very excited and can't wait to start planning! However, I don't know how I am going to go about choosing my Maid of Honor.  I have one very close friend who I have been friends with since we were in preschool, but when she got married a few years ago, we got into an argument before her big day and I ended up not going to her wedding because she didn't like the fact that I couldn't afford the cost of being in her wedding at the time.  We reconciled when she became pregnant and today we are good friends.  I wouldn't call her my best friend, but she's the closest I have to that.  Now is where it gets interesting.  I became very close with my ex-boyfriend's Aunt when we were dating.  We would do things together all the time and remained good friends after her nephew and I broke up.  We've gone shopping together, she introduced me to new guys, she even helped me get hired at the place she works at where I worked as my last job.  She's always been very supportive of me and has helped me out in numerous instances.  All in all, she's one of my closest friends and has proven her friendship way more than my other friend.  I am thinking of asking her to be my Maid of Honor but I am also worried of running into my ex and causing awkward situations.  I have not told my fiance, but I know he will be a little hesitant at my idea.  I know this because I also somewhat remained friends with my ex's mom.  When I asked my fiance what he thought about me going out to lunch with her, he told me it was my decision but was still hesitant.  My ex was very emotionally abusive and was beginning to get physically violent when we broke up.  My fiance knows this and I know that is why he feels indifferent.  I don't want to disrespect him or give him reason to worry, but this woman really is the person I picture being my Maid of Honor.  I have NO feelings for my ex anymore so that isn't a worry of mine.  Am I just being REALLY stupid??? 

Elizabethwink mini

by on May. 10, 2014 at 1:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Bonnie_
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2014 at 4:33 AM
3 moms liked this

No.  You  should  choose the  person  who   has  been  there for you  all along.  Your fiancee  needs to  stay  mature  about it.  After  all  that  is what  it's about.  You  are honoring the  person   who  dererves to stand in the ceremony  with you.  

kmorales7690
by Member on May. 10, 2014 at 4:37 AM
My best friend chose her sister in law as MOH because she didnt wantyo hurt her feelings. Its damn near impossible to hurt my feelings so I would say she made the best choice to make things run smoothly.

Time for the show MOH is off smoking and drinking, so I helped bride and her two boys get where they needed to go.
kmorales7690
by Member on May. 10, 2014 at 4:39 AM
What im saying is choose what will help you have agreat smooth day
NDADanceMom
by on May. 10, 2014 at 8:15 AM
2 moms liked this
You may need a super long engagement but your moh does not. When you set the date and have about 9 months left you can pick one. Maybe one that seems more excited about doing it. Maybe you will even meet a new friend.
CampClan
by Member on May. 10, 2014 at 8:31 AM
2 moms liked this
How old is this aunt? Is she significantly order than the other girl? Maybe make the aunt a matron of honor & the other girl maid of honor? This way you don't have to decide.
ZamilyMom
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 4:16 PM

 This!

Quoting Bonnie_:

No.  You  should  choose the  person  who   has  been  there for you  all along.  Your fiancee  needs to  stay  mature  about it.  After  all  that  is what  it's about.  You  are honoring the  person   who  dererves to stand in the ceremony  with you.  

 

Jessica-Daniell
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 9:11 PM
1 mom liked this

No, think you are doing what you feel is right for you. My suggetion is sit down and talk to your fiance. Let him know how you are feeling and why. If the ex's aunt is the one you feel would be the biggest support during your greatest day of your life so far then go for it. Because weddings are stressfull and you deserve to be happy!

Jessica-Daniell
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 9:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting NDADanceMom: You may need a super long engagement but your moh does not. When you set the date and have about 9 months left you can pick one. Maybe one that seems more excited about doing it. Maybe you will even meet a new friend.

 She's correct. If you are currently planning... let both girls know that you would like them to stand up with you at the alter. You can invite both to help you plan and see who is the best match... who is there the most to help you plan your wedding, whos there for the emotional support and everything that comes with a wedding. then 9 months before wedding... make some kind of gesture (a picture, a necklace... something with a note saying that you would love for her to be your maid of honor)

jeepasaurusrex
by Member on May. 12, 2014 at 9:49 PM
This is the most perfect reason for not picking and displaying favorites at your wedding.
emt088
by on May. 12, 2014 at 9:53 PM
I chose not to have a wedding party for this reason. Just me and Dh standing up
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