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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

an open letter from a fat woman

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 74 Replies
18 moms liked this
forty five minutes ago I got out of my vehicle and hobbled into walmart. I heard you scream repeatedly 'damn thats a big bitch' from outside your car in the parking lot. I know it was about me, I was the only one out there besides your group.

I didn't acknowledge your hood rat pack, mostly because I know it would turn into something unnecessary and likely regrettable.

I just want you to know some things.

Yes, I am fat. Baby cow sized fat. I am beyond fat, I am super morbidly obese. I know this.
I am trapped in this body, I wasn't always like this. Once a upon a time I was young and fit, even sexy. I used to love running, playing lacrosse, rock climbing and many other things. I had friends, a social life and fat people were repulsive, how could they let themselves go like that?

Then one day something awful happened. I was in an accident that destroyed my body. I suddenly became unable to roll over in bed, sit up, walk, even get dressed alone. I became shut in, trapped in my house. One by one my friends and family abandoned me, because I was no longer able to do the activities they could, or access the businesses, homes or apartments that I was able to when I walked.

I try not to go out anymore. Its a monumental effort to get dressed, in part because of my laundry list of medical problems and in part because of my size. Mostly it has to do with being around others. I fear others, I fear being judged or stared at, comments and stares.

I am human, just like you. I am no less human than anyone else because I am fat. I have the same feelings, the same desires, aspirations and at one time, goals as anyone else.

Its not the first time I've had someone say something to me. My own family has made snide comments, backhanded remarks. I'm not deaf, I'm not stupid and I'm not ignorant. Up until now I just took it in stride, knowing that I was working on something important.. me.
As long as I put the effort in to improve myself, I could laugh in their faces.


But I was wrong. I won't get into too much detail, but I've tried to lose weight. I'm sick.. so sick I belong in a nursing home and none of it has to do with my weight. I'm fat because I'm sick.. not sick because I'm fat. (Although I'm sure it makes it worse..)

I go to walmart after midnight for a reason..because there are fewer people. Fewer people to make rude comments, take pictures without my permission, follow me around the store, or moo in my direction.

Less people to judge or harass me, less worry.

But tonight, you showed me exactly what society and humanity has come down to. A collective group of ignorant, rude, narcissistic people who place so little value on other humans that they feel the need to point out every critical flaw and humiliate them, to make themselves feel superior.

You turned the simple act of getting a sympathy card for the loss of a family member into a nightmare that I will never forget and a lesson in humanity.. or the lack there of.



There is one thing I want you to know though.

You can fix fat. You can't fix ugly, stupid, or being a disgusting piece of trash on the inside.




Love,
The Neighboorhood "Big Bitch"--
Posted by Anonymous on May. 18, 2014 at 2:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 18, 2014 at 7:24 AM
7 moms liked this

Well said. People are too quick to judge others based only on appearance. No one knows what another person is going through in their life, so don't judge people without knowing their story. Blessings be with you, I understand some of what you're going through, I too have mobility issues that make losing weight difficult, I hate not being able to get around like I used to, and I hate being overweight. I can't walk to lose weight and the added weight makes it hard to walk, I cannot win.

NDADanceMom
by on May. 18, 2014 at 7:32 AM
What did they look like? I always found that fat haters are usually fat themselves.
panther79
by Member on May. 18, 2014 at 9:23 AM

I know the feeling well and it sucks. I get odd looks and a few nasty comments. I have had to let it roll off my back because I'm trying to teach my sons to not make fun of others regardless of whether their problem is on the outside or the inside.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 18, 2014 at 11:39 AM
So sorry to hear this. I don't know why people don't have compassion. And why they think its cute and funny to make fun of people. It disgusts me really. Try to keep in mind that their are good people out their as well.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 18, 2014 at 11:44 AM
So are you healed now from your accident and can you feed yourself etc?
If so, why are you still using that as an excuse... Sick of being made fun of for being fat? Do something about it.

I'm not trying to be insensitive but someone needs to tell it like it is.
JCKitten87
by Member on May. 18, 2014 at 11:54 AM
Im so sorry :( I live with social anxiety so I feel the fear.... I am so sorry that those p o s ignorant ppl were there.

One time after going to the pool I stopped to check my mail in my swimsuit (2 piece tankini & skort bottom) & had comments like that yelled at me. I screamed "fuck off" so loud, sigh, I was an emotional wreck & my daughter was barely a year old at the time
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 18, 2014 at 11:58 AM
23 moms liked this
I'm in healthcare, and one of my patients is almost a hundred pounds heavier from her accident in 2012. Her legs and hips are deformed and she'll always have lymphadema, which makes each leg about the size of three. She has rods and metal plates in her legs, ankles, and feet.

Your idea of "telling like it is" is little more than you being a bitch. You do not know her story, but here you are, pretending that you do. Are you really so miserable in your life that you feel the need to be rude to others? I guess we can assume that you would likely be one of those making snide remarks in the grocery store. Guess we shouldn't be surprised though, right? It isn't like you're an adult or anything.

Quoting Anonymous: So are you healed now from your accident and can you feed yourself etc?
If so, why are you still using that as an excuse... Sick of being made fun of for being fat? Do something about it.

I'm not trying to be insensitive but someone needs to tell it like it is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 18, 2014 at 12:01 PM
4 moms liked this
& do you know her medical history? Her prognosis or anything? She is probably permanently disabled based on the information she shared. Just because her skin healed does not mean she is actually healed. I look perfectly normal but my back is failing, I can't walk straight without damaging my body with pain medication. This will never heal for me & I'm in my late 20's. I'll be lucky to walk with a cane in my 40's! All from an accident when I was 13, so yeah, somethings cannot be fixed

Quoting Anonymous: So are you healed now from your accident and can you feed yourself etc?
If so, why are you still using that as an excuse... Sick of being made fun of for being fat? Do something about it.

I'm not trying to be insensitive but someone needs to tell it like it is.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 18, 2014 at 12:01 PM
2 moms liked this

So much for not being insensitive.  Look, you're being nasty and defending trash who are harassing someone for literally no reason.  Her appearance is not their business and I'd bet money they are low life garbage.  Interesting you'd align yourself with that kind of scum. 

Quoting Anonymous: So are you healed now from your accident and can you feed yourself etc? If so, why are you still using that as an excuse... Sick of being made fun of for being fat? Do something about it. I'm not trying to be insensitive but someone needs to tell it like it is.

 

schatzi869
by Member on May. 18, 2014 at 12:07 PM
6 moms liked this
People are assholes, and they seem to teach their children to be assholes too. I picked my kid up from school one day a while back, and one of the other kindergarteners yelled, "daaaang, look how fat his mommy is!". He was standing between two teachers (one fat, one thin), and neither of them said a thing. I was the only parent in the lobby, so it isn't hard to know he was talking about me. I cried in the car. My 6 year old said, "Don't cry. I think you're the prettiest mommy ever."
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