Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Birthdays...help!

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:12 AM
  • 4 Replies

It's a pretty complicated situation...We have 2 FDs, nearing the finalization of our adoption.  The girls have the same mom, two different dads, and for the most part this will be an open adoption (hence the problem).  FD2's first birthday party is this week.  I am now getting emails from the birth family that they went overboard on gifts (great, make us look cheap) and they got FD1 gifts for FD2's birthday as well.  I know how I feel about it, I don't think FD1 should get gifts on FD2's day.  I think it sets a precedent we don't want to establish, that she gets gifts any time her sister does.  How do we tell all these extra people to stop spoiling the girls and that it is not okay to take away from one's birthday by giving the other a bunch of gifts.  Giving one special is fine, but they have bought multiple gifts for both girls. Do you think it's okay to give both girls gifts at one's birthday?  I'm so confused.

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:12 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-4):
Pecuellar
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 9:37 AM

 My youngest usually gets one gift on her brothers birthday.  But he by far will get the most. 

I would tell them that you will give her one and put the rest up for her birthday. Should be fine as long as they didn't buy cloths or shoes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:06 AM

So the birth mom's families will be involve in your lives as to the birth mom when the adoption is finalized? How old are the girls? 

fostermommy1
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:15 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

So the birth mom's families will be involve in your lives as to the birth mom when the adoption is finalized? How old are the girls? 




Yes. It's an open adoption. FD1 is 2 1/2 and FD2 is turning 1. FD1 knows these people so it wouldn't be fair to just cut them out of her life. As long as it's healthy for the girls we will continue to maintain contact.
iamcafemom83
by Bronze Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:18 AM
Oh they are really young. I would tell them that it is OK THIS time, but for future reference, you don't want the non bday girl to have so many gidts on the other's bday.
Have to say since they are so young, that you can get away with it...they won't remember next time.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)