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Do Your Parents (or other relatives) Take Your Kids So You Can Have a Break?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Do your parents (or in-laws or other relatives) take your kids for a weekend or so from time to time?

Options:

Yes!

No.

I wish they would...

It'll be a cold day in hell before I let them take my kids for any length of time!


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 33

View Results

My husband and I have two boys, 2.5 and 6.5. The oldest is autistic, but his personality is pretty laid back, so we're lucky that they're relatively easy to handle. My MIL has cancer and dementia; she lives on her own, but doesn't drive so daily check-ins do for now (and the spouse takes her to all of her doctor visits). My husband and I both work and, occasionally, it would be nice to have my parents (more like my mother) take the boys so we could have a couple of days to ourselves. We need the break from the boys, from work, and from dealing with my MIL.

I've mentioned to my mom that it would be nice to have a break periodically and she says that no one ever offered to do that for her. This is the same line she gives me about my dad; he never offered to change a diaper or take one of us to the doctor or anything like that. I should be so happy that my husband does all that he does, blah, blah, blah. (Hello, they're his kids too.)

I'm not sure what to think. They're her grandchildren; I thought she would want to spend time with them. It's not like I'm asking for every other weekend or something. Once a year would be great. I even asked for that as a birthday gift and she gave me $50 instead.

This brings me to my poll. Do your parents/in-laws/other relatives take your kids off your hands periodocally so you can have a break? I'm thinking I expect too much out of my mother. She's so much younger than my MIL (about 20 years) so I was hoping she would be more inclined to help us out by giving my husband and I a break. 

Take the poll! Thanks!

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 6, 2014 at 5:09 PM
Replies (11-20):
butzi
by Member on Jun. 7, 2014 at 11:08 PM
1 mom liked this

do you expect an elephant to purr? Apparently this is something you should not expect from your parents. One of the ways to find peace in your life is to accept what is real rather than insist that what you wish was real. I get that you need a break, I just think you'll need to find your respite somewhere else.

littlelamb303
by Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 12:07 AM

DD is older now, but yes, my MIL and my sister used to take her at time

heartslove09
by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 10:12 PM
My parents have never taken my daughter out or stayed with her for more than 2 hours without myself present. They both tell me they dislike kids and well my in laws are not even an option because of drug issues. My husband and I havent had a decent date since she was born. We try to go out when she is un school but now we know not to ever expect anything from my parents no matter how much I need it.
Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jun. 8, 2014 at 10:23 PM

I never asked them to because they watched them all day one day a week. But they would have!

iamcafemom83
by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 2:18 AM
The only grandparent that lives in town is my mom. She works full time. She RARELY takes the kids. At age 6, she is just not getting comfy taking my daughter for overnights. My.son is 4 and has caught onto this and wants to go, too. But she will never take both overnight at once.

She has babysat on the rare occasion that my OB appt falls.on the same day she is off.
But to take them for date nights and all that is super rare! The sleepovers I mentioned happen maybe once or twice a year.

So, I have worked out a network of sitters with my friends. We take turns doing sleepovers or watching each other's kids. It has worked out great. We don't have to pay a sitter and we know each other quite well!

It pays to do this with friends. I highly recommend it. Don't wait around for mom to help you out. It doesn't sound like she will:(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Jun. 9, 2014 at 2:31 AM

Praise the Lord, yes I have family that helps a ton. My sister had my kids so I could take a cpr class that took half a day. My in laws take my kids every couple of months for whole weekends and we are starting to plan family camping trips with them. My mom will take them once in a while, but she has bad back problems and works full time. We typically go to her house to visit once a week though. I'm so blessed

helen491
by on Jun. 9, 2014 at 2:46 AM

<My mom says youmake them you keep them. I have no problem with that, but it seems so hypocritical I remember staying at both sets of my granda parents house.(really 3 because moms parents were separated) throughout the summer and the school year. She doesnt want to watch them but gets upset hen they got stay with their dad out of state. She told me she did not buy them Chrismas gifts last year because they were not here. (As if they werent coming back after the new year.

Kaaden
by Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 5:40 AM

My parents help out heaps, take the kids every sun pm and will do the occasional wkend.  We pay her a small amount to cover food, extra power etc, but also as a bribe to take them:-) I think some people though are just sick of taking care of kids by the time they hit grandparent age.  Hope you get a break soon!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:47 AM

The longest my Mum has taken her is 4 hours..

KristinD1988
by Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 7:34 AM

I've never asked anybody to watch my daughter (8mo) so that I could have a break. Anytime I've ever asked somebody to watch her it was because I had something I needed to do (go to class and my sitter cancelled), go to the doctor or something where it was just really inconvenient for me to bring her. That being said, if they said no they couldn't, I would understand because she is my daughter and I understand that they have lives too and I don't expect them to drop everything they're doing to help me out. However, I am pretty lucky and they love spending time with their granddaughter so anytime I've ever asked they've always said yes. I do plan on asking them to watch her for a night since my birthday is 5 days after my daughter and my boyfriends is 2 weeks after that and we never got to 'celebrate' our birthdays so we were thinking about maybe going away for one night...8 months later haha.

I'm sorry that nobody is willing to help you. Everybody deserves a break now and then, some more than others, and it seems like you could really use one. 

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