Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

♥ache

Posted by on Jun. 12, 2014 at 4:59 AM
  • 15 Replies
Why does she feel the need to tear me down? Make up lies and make me the bad guy. Saying I'm abusive when she sits at home all day in bed on welfare and gets high and screams at her child. Grow up! You have ten years on me and act younger than your child. Why does the court system allow her to get away with lies and perjury? I just want the best for my step son and I'm horrible for it!! I feel like it's wrong I love him and want to give him everything I want for my own children someday. When do you get a thank you for doing all you can??
by on Jun. 12, 2014 at 4:59 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
virgoj3
by Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 8:40 AM
2 moms liked this

you never get a thank you, and the better you do the more she will tear you down because the worse she feels about herself.  Do not look to her for validation of your parenting your SS.  Look to your SS for validation that you are doing everything you can to make sure he knows he can count on you.  Because when they are 18 and walk out the door to college, the ONLY thing that is iportant to them is that they have someone they can count on.  And that will be you, so keep your chin up and don't look down into that cess pool of a woman.

applesnbananas
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:02 AM
1 mom liked this
Oomph I'm living the same life. It's anxiety ridden dealing with a narcissist. But the pros outweigh the cons. 8 years in, 7 years to go, I think I can I think I can. Hope my SD realizes someday who her supporters are and who the problem is,
tobestepmomma
by Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:40 AM
Thank you both...

I keep hoping for the same thing. He gets to go to college for free from my Veteran benefits and already has a car that will be his. I'm just counting down the days till he is 18 and she won't get money from the state or food stamps anymore and he sees her true colors and wants to live with us.

Quoting applesnbananas: Oomph I'm living the same life. It's anxiety ridden dealing with a narcissist. But the pros outweigh the cons. 8 years in, 7 years to go, I think I can I think I can. Hope my SD realizes someday who her supporters are and who the problem is,
applesnbananas
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 10:59 AM
Thank you for your service!
tobestepmomma
by Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this
It was a honor! :-)

Quoting applesnbananas: Thank you for your service!
whatIknownow
by on Jun. 12, 2014 at 12:43 PM

He's only 8 years old. You have a car set aside for him already?

Do you think you will want him to live with you when he turns 18, in 10 years? You're not even married yet. You are only 22 years old. Who knows where you will be in 10 years.

Quoting tobestepmomma: Thank you both... I keep hoping for the same thing. He gets to go to college for free from my Veteran benefits and already has a car that will be his. I'm just counting down the days till he is 18 and she won't get money from the state or food stamps anymore and he sees her true colors and wants to live with us.
Quoting applesnbananas: Oomph I'm living the same life. It's anxiety ridden dealing with a narcissist. But the pros outweigh the cons. 8 years in, 7 years to go, I think I can I think I can. Hope my SD realizes someday who her supporters are and who the problem is,


tobestepmomma
by Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 1:18 PM
I know what it was like to have your mom put your stuff on the curb on your 18th bday and tell me to try not to die in the Army or my dad sit me down at my 10th bday and say my sm doesn't want me at her house anymore so I'm no longer welcome and not see him for eight yrs and still not have a relationship. I may be young but I've been through a lot. I will do everything for him I would do for my own kids and when my ss comes to my house and says he has to get a job at 16 not be in hs or he won't have money at 18 and will be a hobo I will tell him he will be taken care of. That isn't something an eight year old should be told or worry about and I will nurture him and make sure he doesn't worry. He already has a complex about his mom leaving him because she leaves for days on end and leaves him with her bf while she visits her husband. I may need to step back but I will never stop nurturing him and trlling him he has nothing to ever worry about in the future.

Quoting whatIknownow:

He's only 8 years old. You have a car set aside for him already?

Do you think you will want him to live with you when he turns 18, in 10 years? You're not even married yet. You are only 22 years old. Who knows where you will be in 10 years.

Quoting tobestepmomma: Thank you both...

I keep hoping for the same thing. He gets to go to college for free from my Veteran benefits and already has a car that will be his. I'm just counting down the days till he is 18 and she won't get money from the state or food stamps anymore and he sees her true colors and wants to live with us.

Quoting applesnbananas: Oomph I'm living the same life. It's anxiety ridden dealing with a narcissist. But the pros outweigh the cons. 8 years in, 7 years to go, I think I can I think I can. Hope my SD realizes someday who her supporters are and who the problem is,

whatIknownow
by on Jun. 12, 2014 at 3:08 PM

I'm sorry your parents were not supportive, but why would you think your SS's parents would not be supportive? It is not the norm to kick your kids out at 18.

Are you actually telling him that he "has nothing to worry about in the future?"

Quoting tobestepmomma: I know what it was like to have your mom put your stuff on the curb on your 18th bday and tell me to try not to die in the Army or my dad sit me down at my 10th bday and say my sm doesn't want me at her house anymore so I'm no longer welcome and not see him for eight yrs and still not have a relationship. I may be young but I've been through a lot. I will do everything for him I would do for my own kids and when my ss comes to my house and says he has to get a job at 16 not be in hs or he won't have money at 18 and will be a hobo I will tell him he will be taken care of. That isn't something an eight year old should be told or worry about and I will nurture him and make sure he doesn't worry. He already has a complex about his mom leaving him because she leaves for days on end and leaves him with her bf while she visits her husband. I may need to step back but I will never stop nurturing him and trlling him he has nothing to ever worry about in the future.
Quoting whatIknownow:

He's only 8 years old. You have a car set aside for him already?

Do you think you will want him to live with you when he turns 18, in 10 years? You're not even married yet. You are only 22 years old. Who knows where you will be in 10 years.

Quoting tobestepmomma: Thank you both... I keep hoping for the same thing. He gets to go to college for free from my Veteran benefits and already has a car that will be his. I'm just counting down the days till he is 18 and she won't get money from the state or food stamps anymore and he sees her true colors and wants to live with us.
Quoting applesnbananas: Oomph I'm living the same life. It's anxiety ridden dealing with a narcissist. But the pros outweigh the cons. 8 years in, 7 years to go, I think I can I think I can. Hope my SD realizes someday who her supporters are and who the problem is,



tobestepmomma
by Member on Jun. 12, 2014 at 3:21 PM
His bm isn't. I know it isn't normal and definitely isn't normal to tell an eight year old that you are going to do that. So yes I do tell him all the time he will not have anything to worry about, he will always have a home with us, a car at our home and get to go to college with my Veteran benefits. I don't want the way she puts him down and tells him he is stupid and has things wrong with him to hold him back so I will build him up amd ensure he does what he wants in life despite her whether I'm the bad guy or not. When he is older he wi she I was the cheerleader in his corner not the bad guy who wanted to get money from the state for her made up diagnoses of fake illnesses.

Quoting whatIknownow:

I'm sorry your parents were not supportive, but why would you think your SS's parents would not be supportive? It is not the norm to kick your kids out at 18.

Are you actually telling him that he "has nothing to worry about in the future?"

Quoting tobestepmomma: I know what it was like to have your mom put your stuff on the curb on your 18th bday and tell me to try not to die in the Army or my dad sit me down at my 10th bday and say my sm doesn't want me at her house anymore so I'm no longer welcome and not see him for eight yrs and still not have a relationship. I may be young but I've been through a lot. I will do everything for him I would do for my own kids and when my ss comes to my house and says he has to get a job at 16 not be in hs or he won't have money at 18 and will be a hobo I will tell him he will be taken care of. That isn't something an eight year old should be told or worry about and I will nurture him and make sure he doesn't worry. He already has a complex about his mom leaving him because she leaves for days on end and leaves him with her bf while she visits her husband. I may need to step back but I will never stop nurturing him and trlling him he has nothing to ever worry about in the future.

Quoting whatIknownow:

He's only 8 years old. You have a car set aside for him already?

Do you think you will want him to live with you when he turns 18, in 10 years? You're not even married yet. You are only 22 years old. Who knows where you will be in 10 years.

Quoting tobestepmomma: Thank you both...

I keep hoping for the same thing. He gets to go to college for free from my Veteran benefits and already has a car that will be his. I'm just counting down the days till he is 18 and she won't get money from the state or food stamps anymore and he sees her true colors and wants to live with us.

Quoting applesnbananas: Oomph I'm living the same life. It's anxiety ridden dealing with a narcissist. But the pros outweigh the cons. 8 years in, 7 years to go, I think I can I think I can. Hope my SD realizes someday who her supporters are and who the problem is,

LaurenCalt
by Member on Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this

You unfortunately can't rationalize with a psycho.  My son's father and my SO's ex are the same - erratic, irresponsible and aggressive.

I agree with others - don't worry about what she thinks.  Worry about what your SS thinks.  At the end of the day, HE is the one you care about, not her.  Dont' give her the satisfaction of being hurt by her arrogance.

Happiness is the best form of revenge.  Make her son happiest when he is with you and your SO.  That'll kill her more than anything.  And it's a win-win for you: beating the ex at her own game by just being you and loving SS, and building a strong family foundation with SS at the same time.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN