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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

Really?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies

I am engaged to a man with 2 daughters, ages 22 and 20.  We have been together for 12 years tomorrow.  His nephew who lives in Cleveland, Ohio (about 4.5 hours away from us) got married yesterday.  I could not attend the weeding because I had photo shoots scheduled ( I am a photographer) and could not reschedule them.  He was taking his youngest daughter and his sister to the wedding and they were going to stay overnight Saturday night.  No biggie.  Come to find out....his ex-wife went with them.  Yep.  WTF?  Both his daughter's went and his ex-wife.  Really??  He doesn't know that I know and he is on his way home. I am so pissed off.  He works 50+ hours a week at his job and has a side business where he sells granola.  I worked the local Farmer's Market for him for 6 hours and then went and did photo shoots for 6 hours.  I was exhausted when I got home.  He didn't bother to tell me his ex-wife was going.  If he had, I might not be as pissed as I am right now.  I found out through social media.  Opps dumb ass.  So, I am not really sure what the hell to say to him at this point.  I am hurt, pissed, and over this crap. We have been engaged for like 10 years.  What would you do?

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 15, 2014 at 11:43 AM
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Replies (1-4):
sondra101
by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 4:35 PM
Idk but I don't think I would stay with a guy who makes me wait that long to marry.
Purgatorian
by Bronze Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 1:57 AM

You're never getting married to him, just so you know.

Pretty sure mine would be sleeping on the couch if I even let him in the door. Taking the ex wife and not telling you is an omission of the truth and in my mind an omission is the same thing as a LIE.

He obviously knows you would not be ok with that and so didn't tell you.  What's that saying? Sometimes its easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

When he gets home I would guess you need to have a talk about liars.

Why the hell are you still with a guy that has not commited to you after a decade???

KikiKia
by Bronze Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 9:19 AM

Wow!  That is a very important detail that he decided not to share....very suspicious.

kylensmom1229
by Member on Jun. 16, 2014 at 9:32 AM

I understand why the ex-wife went (as she probably considered his nephew family when they were married, plus both her daughters were going; what I don't understand is why he didn't tell you. You guys have been together long enough that honesty should not have been an issue. I mean, they have children together, so she is always going to be a part of your lives, but after 12 years you know this, and hopefully have been accepting of it. So why the secrecy??? When he gets home, ask him who all went- give him the opportunity to come clean before you make any accusations. Hopefully there is an explanation. IF he lies.....well, then I don't know. You guys have some talking to do. Have you ever given him the impression you are not comfortable with him being in contact with the mother of his children?

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