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I never should have bought him the stupid thing! (Ex and $$ post) *Edit #2*

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2014 at 3:13 PM
  • 55 Replies

Before ex bf and I broke up I bought him a brand new Xbox One. He promised to pay me back so I didn't see the harm in it. Well fast forward three months. We broke up and so far I have only recieve $200 of the $500 he owes me and that was a month after I bought him the system.

He texted me about 2 weeks ago and told me he would be in town to pay me back (he moved back to his home town an hour away) and asked me what days work best for him to stop by. I told him my days off and we left it at that. Last week after hearing nothing from him, I texted and asked if he had a date set for him to come to town. He told me "I have to make sure I have enough money to pay some of my student bill so Idk. I'll be there when I can." Understandable. School is important to him so I get that. I told him that I thought he already paid it but when he figured out a date to please let me know so I can make sure I'm home when he shows up. He never texted back.

Flashed forward again to today. I've heard nothing from him since last week so I texted him again. (I know it may seem like I'm pushing him but I really need that money and up until now I've been very patient with him and the time its been taking to pay me back.) I asked if he had a date yet to come to town. He is notorious for ignoring me so I told him I would be in his hometown this Saturday for a mutual friend's child's birthday party and he could just pay me then. He responded with "I got called into work that day so thats a no go. And I've already told you I will be down there next weekend. Stop bugging me. I've already told you everything about the plan." He did nothing of the sort. This was my first time hearing about him coming next weekend. I told him, no he didn't tell me and sorry for bugging him but I've been very patient with him and frankly, I'm tired of waiting for him to get his shit together. He has 2 full time jobs, no rent to pay because he lives with his mom, no car payment nothing besides insurance and his student bill for college which he is on a payment plan for. He responded by telling me that if I text or call him again he is going to ignore me because he's already explained the plan to me and I need to leave him alone and stop stressing him out.

I'm a single mom and I work full time but as most people know, there never seems to be enough money. I need the money to take care of my daughter. She will be starting Kindergarten in the fall and her birthday is not to far behind. I need all the money I can get. Am I in the wrong? I would really like some opinions because I honestly feel like I've been very lenient with him for a while and I'm at my wits end.



EDIT:

Okay so it was a mistake to say that I NEED the money because really I don't but it would help out a lot. At the time of purchasing the game system I could afford it because I hadn't moved into my place yet so I only had a few bills to pay. Sorry!


Edit #2

Suprise suprise! He's not coming this weekend. He said he "has plans with his boys Friday and works doubles Saturday and Sunday" so he "will have to send me some money through Wells Fargo". Supposedly something went bad in his engine. I'm not saying he's lying but I don't believe him. I'm really over the BS that continues to spew from his mouth. I've seen him on social media with new clothes and constantly going out with his no good friends so there is no way in hell he can't pay me. I'm just going to write this off as a loss. I no longer have the patience or energy to continue doing this back and forth dance with him. LESSON LEARNED! I'll update on the off chance he DOES end up paying me

by on Jun. 24, 2014 at 3:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 24, 2014 at 3:21 PM
4 moms liked this

Yes, you are right, he owes you the money.  But...

NEVER lend to or borrow from friends and/or family.  It never turns out well.  And, if you DO lend money, regardless of who it is, never lend money you can't afford to do without.  It's like going to a casino.  Don't put more money on the table than you are willing to lose.

AllAboutAmaya
by Member on Jun. 24, 2014 at 3:34 PM
Yeah it was a poorly thought out decision on my part butat the time I could afford it, that's why it wasn't a problem. I'm not doing bad now but money is a little tight sue to moving out of my moms and into my own place.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, you are right, he owes you the money.  But...

NEVER lend to or borrow from friends and/or family.  It never turns out well.  And, if you DO lend money, regardless of who it is, never lend money you can't afford to do without.  It's like going to a casino.  Don't put more money on the table than you are willing to lose.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 24, 2014 at 3:43 PM

TBH, I would write it off as a lesson learned.  I know the money would be helpful.  But, it is too stressful trying to get it back.  Destress yourself by counting the money gone.  If he makes good on it in the future, great.  If not, you didn't stress over it.

I've been there, done that, learned my lesson.  Destress yourself.  It's healthier and happier.  =)

Quoting AllAboutAmaya: Yeah it was a poorly thought out decision on my part butat the time I could afford it, that's why it wasn't a problem. I'm not doing bad now but money is a little tight sue to moving out of my moms and into my own place.
Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, you are right, he owes you the money.  But...

NEVER lend to or borrow from friends and/or family.  It never turns out well.  And, if you DO lend money, regardless of who it is, never lend money you can't afford to do without.  It's like going to a casino.  Don't put more money on the table than you are willing to lose.


PogoPalOj
by Member on Jun. 24, 2014 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this

JUDGE JUDY TO THE RESCUE

 

amandacr1026
by Bronze Member on Jun. 24, 2014 at 4:03 PM

well your title pretty much says it... Shouldn't have bought it...

AllAboutAmaya
by Member on Jun. 24, 2014 at 4:06 PM

I really hope it doesn't come down to that.

Quoting PogoPalOj:

JUDGE JUDY TO THE RESCUE



AllAboutAmaya
by Member on Jun. 24, 2014 at 4:07 PM

I shouldn't have but I did. 

Quoting amandacr1026:

well your title pretty much says it... Shouldn't have bought it...


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jun. 25, 2014 at 11:00 AM

You're not wrong, but the time and effort it's taking you to try to get it back isn't worth it in the long run. It's best to cut ties with him completely, no contact, no nothing, and write off that money as well as that relationship as lesson learned. Truly. He's never going to pay you the rest and has zero incentive to do so. You're only making yourself crazy to keep hoping for something that'll never come in. You'd do better to find other ways to make more money yourself than to count on that.

virgoj3
by Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 11:47 AM

You are not wrong, but you seem a little naive.  You can't enforce anything because the agreement was verbal, and I highly doubt he'll pay you back so you should not plan on seeing tha tmoney.  If you do get it - fantastic, but don't hold your breath.

AllieKat
by Member on Jun. 25, 2014 at 11:51 AM
1 mom liked this
This is why I don't suggest gfs buy expensive gifts. Did you get any expensive gifts or help with the bills when together? You should've bought it for your kids if at all if you are that tight. I'm not being bitchy but he played your ass and still is and the ones that suffer and go without are your kids.
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