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The Venting Booth The Venting Booth

UPDATE:I think my dh thinks I'm stupid

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 111 Replies
How do I even start.
Let's see, I haven't had a real job since right before I had my first kid.
I now have two kids and am 26 yrs old and have not had a real job due to daycare costs and whatnot... It didn't make sense to put all of my paycheck into daycare.
Anyway, I am a licensed hairdresser and I have done hair on the side for 7 years while I am a sahm.
We moved to a different state about a year ago and I started the paperwork to transfer my hair license.
Since my youngest is starting pre k next month, I will be able to work.
Well that has been 8 months of hell trying to get paperwork transferred and approved.
Slow process, but I should finally be getting my license in a few weeks and will start applying at salons.
My dh has berated me about how I don't know anything about the real world because I have been a sahm for the last 7 years....
(And he told me to stay home with the kids to begin with so.....)
At 5am he decided to inform me he can't wait for me to lose my job because I will most likely get fired right away since I haven't had a real job in fucking years. Gee thanks...
Yes I am excited and nervous about starting work but for fucks sake why do I have to be belittled about it every fucking day.

Idk why I'm anon. My s/n is liisawith2eyes

Update:
I confronted him about it, he had no memory of it, now I wonder if he is the one that is stupid?
Anyways, after I let out my thoughts on the matter we discussed it. I had kept it bottled up since that one morning and I was fuming.
He changed his demeanor and we discussed me working.
Currently, we are staying in the basement apartment of his brother and sister in law to save for a house so I can't just kick him out. Things we're tense so we had a family meeting and hashed things out.
My dh said he thinks it will be an adjustment but it will be financially easier when I have a job and will speed things up to getting us on the path to homeownership.
Thank you again for all your support ladies.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 3, 2014 at 5:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
offrdngal
by Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:36 AM
31 moms liked this

 Why do you allow him to berate you like that?  What an asshole.  I bet you can't wait to prove him wrong!  Maybe you can start stashing some money aside, so you can tell him to knock his shit off or get the fuck out!  There is no reason to subject yourself or your children to the verbal abuse. 

Good luck!!!  :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:38 AM
9 moms liked this
That actually just crossed my mind I think I will start :)

Quoting offrdngal:

 Why do you allow him to berate you like that?  What an asshole.  I bet you can't wait to prove him wrong!  Maybe you can start stashing some money aside, so you can tell him to knock his shit off or get the fuck out!  There is no reason to subject yourself or your children to the verbal abuse. 


Good luck!!!  :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:39 AM
20 moms liked this

I think he is probably afraid of you going out into the world and he is being immature and insecure.

im_that_mom
by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:42 AM
1 mom liked this
This. Definitely the issue!

Quoting Anonymous:

I think he is probably afraid of you going out into the world and he is being immature and insecure.

suzanneyea
by Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:42 AM
3 moms liked this

I think  my husband is an idiot, but at least I just talk about  it here and don't say it to his face

143myboys9496
by on Jul. 3, 2014 at 6:55 AM
52 moms liked this

What a durfwad! Seriously? Tell him this:

HEY ASSHOLE, I HAD A REAL JOB, AND DO HAVE A REAL JOB RAISING OUR CHILDREN, MAINTAINING OUR HOME, COOKING MEALS, DOING LAUNDRY.

Have another baby and offer to trade.

Jesus that pisses me off..Just for that I'd hide a shitty diaper in his car.

Dh asked me ONE TIME, 'what did you do today?" ONE TIME. My kids are almost 20 and 18. Up until 8 years ago, when I increased my hours to 36, I was working 24.

Have your dh read this:

What did you do all day?

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked:

“What happened here today?’”

She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, ‘”Well, today I didn’t do it.” 

nmkj
by Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 7:02 AM
3 moms liked this
I agree too. It seems like a control thing. Now he's worried that once you get out there and start working you will be independent enough to leave him.

Quoting im_that_mom: This. Definitely the issue!

Quoting Anonymous:

I think he is probably afraid of you going out into the world and he is being immature and insecure.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 3, 2014 at 8:08 AM
3 moms liked this

To me it sounds like he is scared and really doesn't want you to go back to work.  Men are complicated creatures.  He is happy with the way things are.  You are there at 'his beck and call' and have been for seven years.  I know its weird.  Several years ago I was going to go to my daughter's for 23 days.  She and her fiance' were working 21 days in a row and needed help with the kids.  He was so freaking anxious about my leaving that he started making my life hell.  So I left early just to get the leaving over with.  Ugh.  Try sitting him down and talking to him calmly.  Ask him why you going to work is upsetting him so much.  Would it help if you only worked part time?  Re assure him and tell him how much you love him.   I know, I know, he treated you like shit and now you are supposed to re assure him?  It sucks, but sometimes that is how it works.

3JuJu3
by Member on Jul. 3, 2014 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

You deserve better than that. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 3, 2014 at 1:32 PM
Well I am driving 16 hours to be with my mom dad and sisters for 2 weeks I wonder If that also has something to do with it

Quoting Anonymous:

To me it sounds like he is scared and really doesn't want you to go back to work.  Men are complicated creatures.  He is happy with the way things are.  You are there at 'his beck and call' and have been for seven years.  I know its weird.  Several years ago I was going to go to my daughter's for 23 days.  She and her fiance' were working 21 days in a row and needed help with the kids.  He was so freaking anxious about my leaving that he started making my life hell.  So I left early just to get the leaving over with.  Ugh.  Try sitting him down and talking to him calmly.  Ask him why you going to work is upsetting him so much.  Would it help if you only worked part time?  Re assure him and tell him how much you love him.   I know, I know, he treated you like shit and now you are supposed to re assure him?  It sucks, but sometimes that is how it works.

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